Hardcore Hairdresser Review

Reviewed by YogaGrrl  on  5/15/2002

Cast: Lauren Montgomery, Maya Divine (aka Wendy Divine), Ginger Paige, Tracy Love, Elle DeVyne, Keri Windsor, Julian, Evan Stone, Brick Majors, Kyle Stone and Eric Masterson in sex roles; Lloyd "The Barber" in a non-sex role.

Director: F. J. Lincoln

Production date: 7/99

Length: 117 min.

Extras: One trailer, slide show with 20 photos and 4 short biographies for Lauren, Keri, Tracy and Maya.

Audio/visual quality: Visual quality is adequate, though lacking in crispness. Emphasis is on medium and close-up shots, with almost no full body shots. Camera angles are limited, possibly due to space constraints imposed by the tiny barbershop set. The harsh lighting in the first three scenes is unflattering to the actresses. The camera crew successfully avoids their reflections in the mirrors; however, a crew member is caught on screen in scene four. Vignetting occurs frequently throughout the feature. It's a minor distraction, and I am unable to determine if it's purely a technical problem or if the corners were intentionally darkened to mask overlighting.

The music is a techno/industrial/jazz lite mix that's often unpleasant to my ears. The mood of the music only occasionally matches the action. During the fifth scene, four wildly different tunes play, and only one seems close to right. The volume of the music also varies erratically throughout the movie. Background noises are present, including at least one off camera direction ("We need to see your face, hun; get your hair up there.") The dialog is always clear and easy to understand, however.

Disc problems: Three trailers are illustrated, but only one plays.

First impression: Never mind the movie; just tell me where I can find a barber like Lloyd!

Scene highlights: Lauren Montgomery is a free spirit from the big city who inherits a small town barbershop from her Uncle Wynn. Julian, the sole employee who's loyal to the business, narrates the seven loosely connected scenes.

In scene one, Lauren and boyfriend Evan Stone bless the shop in the traditional fashion. She passes her wad of chewing gum to his mouth before the blowjob. When it's time to trade places, Evan makes the happy discovery that she's wearing transparent plastic panties. "I just can't seem to get in there!" he teases as he presses his mouth against them. He pulls them off for more direct oral, which he accompanies with some finger stimulation. The intercourse consists of a single vaginal position (missionary) and a single anal position (doggie). The condom inexplicably vanishes during the abrupt cut to his climax. She takes the cum on her butt and back.

Keri Windsor comes to Lauren for a bikini wax, but Lloyd the Barber has his own ideas about the correct technique. He sharpens his straight razor on his leather strop, grooms Keri's pubes with a comb and scissors, brushes her vulva with shaving cream and carefully shaves her with his blade. Keri makes some goofy faces and Lauren catches the giggles. Lloyd leaves in a huff when Lauren licks Keri to test her smoothness. Keri fucks Lauren next, adding finger stimulation to her oral work and then pulling a strap-on out of her shopping bag (convenient, huh?). She encourages Lauren to suck her "cock" at the end.

Wendy Divine is ready to provide Eric Masterson the full salon treatment. She leans forward and playfully brushes his face with her breasts while washing his hair. Since her tight little t-shirt is already damp, Wendy pulls it off and uses it as a towel. After he kisses her bare nipples, she gives him a nice blowjob, and he offers oral in return. The intercourse includes two vaginal positions: doggie and reverse cowgirl. There's a quick cut to the cumshot, which lands on her breasts. The rapport between this real life couple is evident in their dialog and eye contact, and it's fun to see them watch each other in the mirrors.

Scene four takes the action away from the barber chair and into the shoe shine chair, where Brick Majors gives Tracy Love a pedicure. She uses a lot of aggressive and condescending language that quickly wears on my nerves. (A sample: "Like that cunt, huh? Like sucking that cunt? I can't hear you!") The best part is actually at the beginning, when Tracy massages Brick's nipples with her feet, which leads to a short but interesting footjob. We also see Tracy put the condom on Brick. Besides the oral and blowjob, there's anal sex in two positions, and yet another jump edit to the ejaculation on her butt.

Julian fantasizes about customer Elle DeVyne roping him in with a lasso. I like his cowboy hat, and I am sorry it doesn't stay on longer. I am even sadder that Julian wears regular work boots instead of cowboy boots. The sex takes place in a waiting chair and includes a blowjob (no oral), cowgirl, doggie and cum on her breasts.

Lauren and Kyle Stone crank up the heat with their fabulous eye contact and wry conversation. His portrayal of a self-important councilman is farcical and funny. During her animated blowjob, Lauren quips, "Next to cutting hair, this is my forte!" Kyle answers with enthusiastic and extended rimming. Again, there are just two positions in the barber chair--cowgirl and missionary--but at least there's a nifty transition where Kyle picks her up and repositions her. He also has fun revolving her in the chair while continuing to thrust. Lauren appears to have an actual orgasm, and Kyle pulls out of her pussy to spray her belly.

In the final scene, Julian secures financial backing for the shop and nooky for his cock from Ginger Paige. Very similar to scene five, the sex takes place on a waiting bench (and also the floor) and includes a blowjob (no oral), missionary, reverse cowgirl and cum on her breasts.

Thumbs up: Julian gets at least as much screentime as Lauren, and he's as much the star as she is. I don't mean to damn him with faint praise, but for a porn movie, Julian's acting is rather decent. I like the good-natured way he laughs after each climax--almost as if his own orgasms catch him by surprise. Lauren also does a good job with her role, and her scene with Kyle is easily the strongest in this movie.

Thumbs down: Far too often, the camera isn't pointing where I want to be looking. This is especially true for the shaving scene, where I would have preferred lingering close-ups of Lloyd working on the labia. Instead, intercut facial and medium-length body shots are common. Another example is scene six, which begins with Lauren unzipping Kyle's pants. Do we see Lauren's face? Do we see Kyle's cock? No, we see a reflection of the back of his head along with her partially obscured profile.

Six out of seven scenes follow the same weak formula: sex in a chair, two positions only, and a jump to the cumshot (the lesbian scene is the single obvious exception, since there's no cumshot). At least half the time, the editing is overly tight and seems to miss the beginning of the ejaculation, which appears to be already in progress. For different and more positive viewpoints, check out reviewer's and LaNIKITA2000's reviews.

Themes: Straight, lesbian, oral, anal, rimming (male to female), shaving, shampooing, footjob, toys (one strap-on).

Condom use: Yes, in all b/g scenes, as per studio policy.

Juice-o-meter: Low except for scene six (Lauren/Kyle). There are a handful of other fun aspects to this movie, though, and the shaving interested me greatly.

Final analysis: Some of the action in Hardcore Hairdresser is moderately hot, and some is not. On the whole, it's a solidly average production. Unless you're a huge fan of one of the performers or fetishes, it's best rented rather than purchased.


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Special thanks to astroknight, reviewer extraordinaire, for his screenshots.