Girl Service Review

Girl Service

Studio: Cal Vista Classic / VCX
Starring: Caro Keff, Red Tuiet (feature), Arcadia Lake (bonus)
Director: E. Tense
Feature Length: 56:13
Original release: 1980
Special Features: four bonus segments, "classic" trailers, ads

Some people maintain that the "classic" era had higher standards than the flotsam and jetsam we get today. I think they're cherry picking the good stuff and forgetting how much crap there used to be.

This is a perfect example. It came out in 1980 (though I wonder about that); it's feature length and there is what passes for a story here. But it may be the single worst feature I've ever seen from any era.

Girl Service stars with a girl being chased by bad guys in a limo; she's quickly recaptured, fucked, and put back in the pipeline to be sold. The girl service is white slavery.

So this thing tries to be Porn Noir. Instead, it's just laughable; it's the kind of thing people make fun of from movies of this era: you expect the dialog to deep throat like Linda Lovelace, but the acting makes most other pornos look like All About Eve. The film work looks like it was shot on 8mm, and the audio is almost unlistenable. How much of it was originally crap, degraded by videotape transfer, now transferred again to DVD is impossible to say, but the result is unlistenable.

The film is supposedly 1980, though the music soundtrack is a mix of garbage rock and cheesedick, low-budget noir movies from the 50s. I think it was made in the early 70s and recycled in 1980, but who knows.

There are four main sex scenes in this thing. Nobody is identified, and only two performers are named on the titles: Caro Keff and Red Truiet. Who? Exactly.

Scene 1: big titted brunette is chased by the bad guy and driver in his limo. She's captured, and he fucks her (including a deep throat) in the back seat of the car.

Scene 2: we meet two more girls in the "service," one brunette, one medium-brown haired girl with long hair; both are slim and small breasted. We get a three-way with the guy who, I guess, acts as the middle man in the sales hierarchy.

Scene 3: a buyer picks up the brown haired girl and fucks her in the shower.

Scene 4: our heroine escapes and is picked up and fucked on a hillside.

The sex is typical of the period: full bush, lots of emphasis on cock sucking, no anal. Fucking is a little less stylized and they don't assume strange yoga positions so the camera can get an unobstructed view.

Bonus Scenes

There are four extra single scenes lifted from other movies or sources. They vary in era and style (some are film, some are video) and there's no rhyme or reason to it other than it was whatever was sitting on the shelf when it was time to fill out this DVD. But frankly, the bonus videos are the only reason to get this DVD. Like the original movie, nobody's credited, so if you don't recognize people on your own, you'll never know who these people are.

Bonus 1: Untamed Passions. A pretty, small-breasted blonde and a guy on a bed. This looks like it really is from 1980.

Bonus 2: Pussycat Ranch. This is the opening scene from the movie: cowboys ride up to what I suppose is an old-time whorehouse, and one of the cowboys gets laid. I don't know who the actor is; the girl is Arcadia Lake (how's that for a blash from the past?). I remember seeing a still from this scene in an old issue of Hustler magazine where they reviewed the movie. Talk about deja vu!

Bonus 3: Find Your Love. Pretty, small-breasted brunette gets fucked on a pool table.

Bonus 4: The Arrangement. Two small blonde models fuck a photographer on the set of a photo shoot. Dubbed into english.

Trailers are for other films in the Cal Vista/VCX catalog: "Tower of Power," "Only the Best of Breasts" (reviewed elsewhere), "Sweet Throat" and "Private Moments."

So How About It?

Joe Bob says the feature is a steaming pile of shit. Avoid it, avoid it, avoid it. The extras are okay if there's something in particular you want to see, but since Cal Vista/VCX doesn't credit anyone, you won't be able to locate a performer you particularly want to see. On the one hand I'm glad that Cal Vista/VCX is making some of this obscure stuff available again, but on the other hand, they're shooting themselves in the foot by not doing a better job of it.