Fetish Dreams: Pale Bottom Needs Color Review

Studio
Metro

Genre
Softcore Spanking

Director
None credited

Starring
Alicia Rio, Kelli, Meekah, Fallon, Kiss, Tanya Fox

Running Time
0:52 (yes, that's right, less than an hour!)

DVD Format
Single Sided, Single Layer (DVD-5)

Aspect Ratio
1.33:1 (full frame)

Special Features
Animated main menu; 13-picture softcore photo gallery; and trailers for Being Porn Again, Fetish Whores, Blowjob Fantasies 19, Asian Hoze, and Skeeter Kerkove's Double Anal Excursions 4

Typical Watchers
Spanking curiosity seekers

Typical Haters
Anyone who is really into BDSM, wants modern production values, or who can't understand why anyone would want to see an adult video without any hardcore action

Replay Value
None

Themes
Spanking, softcore, girl-girl, solo masturbation, breast & foot play

Condoms
None needed

If You Liked This DVD, You Should Enjoy
No recommendations

Just the other day, I was thinking about how far the adult video industry has come in the last several years.  Back in the 90's, video quality sucked and box covers were deceptive as hell.  I was thinking that the days of repackaging crap in a decent box were long gone.  But then I came across Pale Bottom Needs Color from Metro, which shows that some studio producers are still stuck in the Nineties.

At first glance, Pale Bottom's box looks like any other modern day fetish title, with bright and sharp photos to go with a modern looking cover design.  Even the copyright and production dates are listed as 2003.  But the lack of a cast list on the box and an 18 USC 2257 statement saying the material was produced prior to July 3, 1995 is a tipoff that all is not what it seems.

In fact, this video was made in 1993, and was called Student Fetish 8 according to IAFD.  This spanking-themed title stars early 90's minor stars in what not only is not hardcore, but with a few edits, you probably could show it on a premium cable TV channel.  Unlike the high quality of the still photos on the boxcover and in the photo gallery, you can look forward to typical early 90's soft video with abundant video glitches from a VHS-quality master.

Although I'm not into the spanking scene, I'm positive that if you were, you'd be disappointed with the erotic appeal of this title.  Despite using hands, ping pong paddles, hair brushes, and pocket-sized leather flails, the girls give each other tame spankings, not the rosy-assed whaling that a title like Pale Bottom Needs Color brings to mind.  If anything, Pale Bottom is a light-hearted paddling between breast-licking friends, not a dom-sub punishment piece.

The video is a disappointing 52 minutes long, divided into two scenes of 26 minutes each.  The first scene stars Alicia Rio, Kelli, and Meekah, who are all naturally-breasted girls who take a break from studying to spank each other.  The second--billed as Spank #16--features Fallon, Kiss, and Tanya Fox in a tag-team affair.  Both scenes are tame by modern standards with some clear, non-spread shots of pussy lips, nudity, some boob licking, and a couple of moments of barely explicit solo masturbation.

If you paid more than a few bucks for this re-issued, poor quality, barely fetish themed DVD, you would be really disappointed.  The DVD has no chapter selection menu, a small photo gallery (the pretty girl stills that allowed Metro to pull the wool over our eyes with a high quality boxcover), and some low quality trailers for recent Metro releases.  With more than a gigabyte of free space on the disc, they could have at least done a decent job with their own promotional material.

Steer clear of this one...it's not priced according to the content, it's deceptive, and it's pretty mediocre porn presented in laughable quality.  For a company that claims it makes great movies and DVDs, Pale Bottom Needs Color is nothing short of an embarrassment.

- Saki (saki@sakivision.com)