Dirty Hairy (All Worlds) Review
All Worlds VideoCast
TouchDown Tony's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by TouchDown Tony on 11/18/2001
It’s short. It’s funny! It’s sexy...sometimes! IT
is Mike Donner’s trifle, DIRTY HARRY, brought
to us by those nice people at All Worlds Video.
With the exception of “discovery” Zach
Warner, all the men are rugged, hirsute hunks
with nicely bronzed bodies and each and every
one of them has seven inches or more to offer to
eager bottoms. So, with bottoms up, let’s drink
a toast to the men of DIRTY HAIRY, and the
valiant attempt to raise laughter as well as
hardons.
To begin with, DIRTY HAIRY only contains four sex scenes, which is alright since the strained humor in between those scenes (and during the second one) detracts highly from the viewing pleasure one usually associates with adult entertainment. The tagged-on story, which could have easily been made by a far better director than Donner, lies flaccid with its “listen to this funny line” attitude, and the helpless mugging (though energetic) of discovery Zach Warner. So, here goes the plot and synopsis, which I’ll try to keep as short as the movie itself.
Dick (cover body Thomas Lloyd) is a private dick investigating a series of peeping tom incidents, the first which involves a U.S. Senator - and in major script continuity problems is referred to also as a Congressman. Dick’s eager assistant, Zach Warner, is trying to be Robin to Dick’s Batman, Jimmy Olson to Dick’s Superman; none of which the strictly business Dick takes to. Dick sends his cub out into the world to investigate leads, while Dick himself sits and watches the videotaped scenes sent to him by “Dirty Hairy,” the peeping tom. Cub explores a gym, and finds a guy to have some sex with. Dick himself goes out on a limb on a hunch and finds two guys into a little b & d. With all the subtlety of a parade of elephants the identity of “Dirty Hairy” is revealed.
The men in the movie are far more exciting than the plot or direction deserves. A three-way with the senator opens the film, but like any recent Saturday Night Live comedy sketch, wears out its welcome early, and goes on for far too long. Not to mention the fact that the lighting is horrible in the scene. The second scene allows Thomas Lloyd to take care of Zach Warner’s ass. Now, Lloyd is a gorgeous man, and has seven thick inches to offer, but Warner unfortunately comes across as a cross between a dye-haired twink and the Pillsbury Doughboy. The “Aunt Martha” gags just aren’t funny coming from Zach’s mouth, though Lloyd’s excessive mugging salvages the scene. The third scene also features the pale, pasty though hirsute Warner going at it in the gym with a real stud (featured on the back cover). Finally, the last scene is the only true winner - - sexually and humor-wise; at this point, however, the viewer will more than likely have abandoned all hope.
The final scene is a variation on the old “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” routine, with the best writing (the nod to gay icon Barbra Streisand actually made me laugh heartily) and the best acting from the three performers. Thomas Lloyd could easily find a place in sitcoms on tv should he ever decide to retire from porn.
A self-playing Photo Gallery is the only extra feature offered.
If you’re inclined towards something a little bit different than the usual porn offering, then DIRTY HAIRY might be worth a rental. With the exception of Warner, the guys are all physically beautiful, though the sexual play is rather lackluster. A final note to the producers: the spelling is TAXIDERMIST, not TAXADERMIST, okay?
To begin with, DIRTY HAIRY only contains four sex scenes, which is alright since the strained humor in between those scenes (and during the second one) detracts highly from the viewing pleasure one usually associates with adult entertainment. The tagged-on story, which could have easily been made by a far better director than Donner, lies flaccid with its “listen to this funny line” attitude, and the helpless mugging (though energetic) of discovery Zach Warner. So, here goes the plot and synopsis, which I’ll try to keep as short as the movie itself.
Dick (cover body Thomas Lloyd) is a private dick investigating a series of peeping tom incidents, the first which involves a U.S. Senator - and in major script continuity problems is referred to also as a Congressman. Dick’s eager assistant, Zach Warner, is trying to be Robin to Dick’s Batman, Jimmy Olson to Dick’s Superman; none of which the strictly business Dick takes to. Dick sends his cub out into the world to investigate leads, while Dick himself sits and watches the videotaped scenes sent to him by “Dirty Hairy,” the peeping tom. Cub explores a gym, and finds a guy to have some sex with. Dick himself goes out on a limb on a hunch and finds two guys into a little b & d. With all the subtlety of a parade of elephants the identity of “Dirty Hairy” is revealed.
The men in the movie are far more exciting than the plot or direction deserves. A three-way with the senator opens the film, but like any recent Saturday Night Live comedy sketch, wears out its welcome early, and goes on for far too long. Not to mention the fact that the lighting is horrible in the scene. The second scene allows Thomas Lloyd to take care of Zach Warner’s ass. Now, Lloyd is a gorgeous man, and has seven thick inches to offer, but Warner unfortunately comes across as a cross between a dye-haired twink and the Pillsbury Doughboy. The “Aunt Martha” gags just aren’t funny coming from Zach’s mouth, though Lloyd’s excessive mugging salvages the scene. The third scene also features the pale, pasty though hirsute Warner going at it in the gym with a real stud (featured on the back cover). Finally, the last scene is the only true winner - - sexually and humor-wise; at this point, however, the viewer will more than likely have abandoned all hope.
The final scene is a variation on the old “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” routine, with the best writing (the nod to gay icon Barbra Streisand actually made me laugh heartily) and the best acting from the three performers. Thomas Lloyd could easily find a place in sitcoms on tv should he ever decide to retire from porn.
A self-playing Photo Gallery is the only extra feature offered.
If you’re inclined towards something a little bit different than the usual porn offering, then DIRTY HAIRY might be worth a rental. With the exception of Warner, the guys are all physically beautiful, though the sexual play is rather lackluster. A final note to the producers: the spelling is TAXIDERMIST, not TAXADERMIST, okay?
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