Da Vinci Load 1, The Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  2/6/2007

The Little Details

Running Time: 107 min.

Production Date: 12 / 8 / 2005

Director: Jerome Tanner

Cast: Charlotte Stokely, Eva Angelina, Haley Paige, Jasmine Tame, Joey Hart, Michelle Maylene, Missy Monroe, Tory Lane, Claudio Meloni, Evan Stone, James Deen, Scott Nails, and Steve Holmes in sexual roles and Heather Dosite, Ivie Bonbon, Lena Juliett, Maple, Mary Duff, Myah Monroe, Rena, Cole Ridge, Frank Bukkwd, James Cocktosen, and Janos Skorzeny in non-sex roles

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Jerome Tanner has made some very enjoyable features, and with my love of the original I can't help but look forward to this one.

Initial Reaction: It's a very enjoyable little feature.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a good chuckle with their porn

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting nastier sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are very nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I don't think I heard a single background noise. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and also very well done. There's a hint of softness that doesn't work too bad for the movie, and the action is nicely lit. There's a bit of camera motion, but it rarely interferes with the action. This is a very nice looking and sounding DVD.

Music: The music is pretty good. It has a touch of the typical porno feel, but is also very well balanced with the rest of the audio.

Menus: The main menu works from some nice animation to a still of the boxcover. The chapter menu shows some nice care and lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and the name of the girl in it. There's also a “Select a Star” option that lets you choose a scene based on a still of each girl and their name before letting you choose where you want to go in the scene sexually.

The Feature

When a man is found murdered in front of the Mona Lisa with a message written in cum beside him, detectives Haley Paige and Frank Bukkwyd try to get to the bottom of things. The case leads them to the Priory of Semen, a secret society of women, with the help of Professor Missy Monroe, a cock clairvoyant. As they investigate, they find that there's a much bigger picture than just a dead body and a painting.

Scene 1 – Missy Monroe, Scott Nails, and Steve Holmes

Professor Missy calls for helpers for her to demonstrate the principle of ejaculatory divineness in her class and gets Steve and Scott volunteering immediately. She drops to her knees and whips out their cocks so she can start sucking them while telling her class to take notes. After Missy works her way between them a bit Steve has her bend over so he can bone her bald beaver from behind as she continues to suck Scott's schlong. Missy looks to let go with a squirt before turning around to let Scott fuck her from behind as she sucks her juices off Steve's cock. Steve fucks her to another squirt missionary style and mixes in a little pussy licking before moving on to fuck her ass. Scott also takes a turn in her holes before picking her up and moving her to a couch so he and Steve can DP her cowgirl style. Missy also lets them double stuff her reverse cowgirl style before Scott and then Steve shoot their loads all over Missy's glasses.

This is a darn hot scene. Missy looks great and she does a fantastic job taking on both of the guys. It doesn't feel like there's any favoritism from her for either of the guys, and she doesn't seem to favor having them in one hole over the other. The scene is also helped out by a fun opening, and I love how there's a couple flashes of the class watching as they fuck. This is a hot and fun scene.

Scene 2 – Joey Hart and James Deen

While waiting for further instructions, hot brunette ice cream girl Joey asks to see James' popsicle stick and goes right to sucking it when he breaks it out. She blows him in the back of the truck a little before taking him inside a house as he struggles to follow her with his pants down. She lies back on a couch for him to tongue her twat when they get inside before letting him fuck her missionary style. James rolls back so Joey can ride him reverse cowgirl style before letting her have it from behind standing up. Finally he has her get down so he can give her one heck of a pop all over her face and chest.

This is a darn hot scene. I love the “ice cream girl” opening, and Joey looks fantastic with a very cute outfit. There's nice chemistry between them, and I really like how they moved through the positions. This is another very well done scene.

Scene 3 – Tory Lane and Claudio Meloni

Tory tells what went down, and up, and down, and up, and, well, you get the idea, between her and Claudio in the museum. She drops down to suck his cock wearing a slutty red bra and shiny skirt. She gives him plenty of stroking, plenty of throat action, and some very nice eyes as she works him over before lying back so he can eat her shaved pussy as well as mixing in a little ass licking. Tory strips down as she rides Claudio reverse cowgirl style before letting him fuck her missionary and doggie style. Finally, Tory gets down and takes an impressive load in her mouth.

This is a hot scene. Tory rarely looks bad, but here she looks some of the best I think I've ever seen her. She puts out some nice energy and some good vocals, with Claudio looking to give her a good hard cock. This was a very enjoyable scene.

Scene 4 – Haley Paige and Evan Stone

After playing around verbally, Evan and Haley decide to put her mouth to better use by having it wrap around his cock. She gives him some good throat action as well before he flips her upside down to lick her pussy. Haley gets up to ride him reverse cowgirl style before letting him take her from behind standing up. They also get in some missionary fucking before finishing things up with an impressive facial.

This is another hot scene. As always, Haley looks great and knows just how to work a cock. She puts out some nice energy and vocals, and takes Evan's oversized cock very well. My only problem with the scene is that when Evan's character is named “Teabag”, it would only seem right to have some teabagging. Then again, with the size of Evan's sac it might be an OSHA hazard for the girls to try teabagging him without some substantial safety gear that would be very unsexy. This is a pretty hot scene.

Scene 5 – Charlotte Stokely, Eva Angelina, Haley Paige, Jasmine Tame, Michelle Maylene and Missy Monroe

After the girls strip down, they team up on leader Eva. They break up into smaller groups to work on each other naturally, and soon after robed and masked servants bring them platters of toys to work with. They work the toys all around with strap-ons, jackrabbits, anal beads, and more as they work each other over in pairs and larger groups. Finally the scene ends with Eva leading Haley away.

This is a pretty good all girl group scene. The camera work gets a bit close for my tastes and it also moves around among the group a little more than I like. That said, I like that the girls keep trading back and forth to mix things up rather than staying in the same groups throughout the action. This is a pretty good all girl scene.

The DaVinci Load is a very nicely done porn parody. Being a fan of Dan Brown's books, I went into this one with a bit of hope due to Jerome Tanner's record with porn comedies and parodies as well as a bit of apprehension just due to how much I enjoyed Brown's books. Nelson X's story here borrows just enough from the original to let the knowledgeable recognize things while not dwelling on it so much that it feels like you have to know the original to get anything beyond the sex. Missy easily leads the way with the sex, but there isn't a single weak scene in the movie. They all move along nicely with good vocals and energy along with some nice chemistry. As usual with Tanner's movies, there's also some good humor to the movie, and I found myself chuckling several times throughout the movie. If there's a complaint about The DaVinci Code it would have to be the cover. Although Joey Hart is featured prominently on the cover, Missy Monroe and Haley Paige are the real female stars of the movie and both put out twice the sex that Joey does. This should tick off fans of all three girls, as two should want to know how much they're girl is in the movie while the other may go in expecting much more than just one scene. The DaVinci Load is a fun fuck flick that's a nice change from the typical brainless porno feature with a plot that can be written out an a gum wrapper.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Beaver Hunt 3, Get Luckier, Sex Trap, Britney Rears 2, Ghetto Booty XXL, and Stripper School Orgy. The photo gallery lasts nearly five minutes with about six seconds per good looking snapshot or full screen photo. There's also a behind the scenes featurette (which is rather surprising, as Hustler normally lists a behind the scenes featurette and then doesn't include it) and commercials.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts a little over fifteen minutes. Joey Hart talks about moving to porn valley from Boston and the dangers of shooting near a pool before Charlotte talks about losing her virginity. After they shoot a bit of the movie, Jasmine talks about doing an anal scene for her first scene as a broke college student. After a little more of the movie being shot Haley talks about loving to work for BellaDonna and with Evan Stone and Steve Homes as well as taking on big dicks. The girls also talk about their roles in the movie with Tory and Michelle also talking about how they got into the jiz biz with the others coming back to talk about losing their virginity. There's also a bit more of the movie being shot including Jerry Tanner talking to Joey about how good facials are for her. This is a nicely done behind the scenes featurette with plenty of personality from the stars as well as a bit of the movie being shot.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, group, squirting, anal, rimming (male > female), lesbian, and toys

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Hustler’s DVDs can be found online for between about $16 and $25 with stores offering it everywhere in between. This one's worth the money. The plot is nicely done with sex that fits into it very well. The technical aspects show some good care, and there's a bit of effort put into the extras. This is a very nicely done DVD.

Note to Hustler: With releases like this, it's easy to see why you signed Jerome Tanner to a contract. Please let him continue making fun porno comedies!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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