Cum on My Face 4 (Private) Review

Directors: Trevor Black, David Perry, Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Extras:
Karaoke Clip: A semi-amusing dance-pop rewrite rendition of Monty Python's "Sit on my face". I wonder if they paid the Pythons royalties for it?
Trailers: A trailer for this disc which manages to make it look unappealing.
Cast: The usual step-throughs of the disc's cast.
Photobook: A bunch of hi-res stills that you navigate yourself in step format.
Production Notes: Who is in the scenes, who directed them, and where they were shot. Useful for reviewers.
Other Titles: Individual Previews for: The Private Story of Nikki Blond, Hungry Asses, The Private Adventures of Pierre Woodman #7, Hot Assphalt, XXX #23, Robinson Crusoe on Sin Island.
About Private: 3 options - Discover Private DVDs, Private Media Group, www.private.com.- Each basically showing a short clip on "why we are fantastic".

How do you numerically rate a series of 5-minute blowjobs on the same scale as you do full-length sex scenes? You can't, so I'm not doing individual scene ratings for this review.

Ok, I'll admit that the cover image of Niki Rider is what sold me on this disc, though I've found that the photo of her used on the cover is actually taken from Puerto Rican Affairs..

Scene 1:
Claudia Ferrari, Katycaro, David Perry.
Dir: David Perry.

I usually like Claudia Ferrari, but here something just looks a bit off, her lips seem way too big for one thing. Katycaro is a blonde with her hair tied/braided behind her head. Anyway, it's a double-BJ scene. Eventually Katycaro jerks David's knob off onto the side of Claudia's head, though his face was unseen. Pretty average.

Scene 2:
Katarina & Franta.
Dir: Trevor Black.

ECU (Extreme Close-Up) POV blowjob by Franta, who has freckles and frankly, doesn't do anything for me. He comes in her mouth. Rubbish throwaway scene.

Scene 3:
Anastasia Christ, Clark.
Dir: Trevor Black.

Anastasia is blonde with big natural boobies and some random tattoos, including a fish or something similarly shaped on her left breast. It looks rubbish. She blows Clark in POV style. She sucks, she wanks, she tit-fucks, he shoots an invisible load between her breasts, yet no-one scores. Yawn.

Scene 4:
Clea, XXXL.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Clea actually looks pretty hot, except for the fact that she's sitting ont he toilet when "XXXL's" lower torso and penis show up. She has a pretty face, dyed dark red/auburn hair, nice make-up, a little black dress on and her panties around her knees. XXXL is a hairy lower torso with an uncircumsised penis. She sucks as the camera changes several times, makes eye contact with the camera, tit-fucks XXXL. Eventually she jerks him off onto her tongue and swallows, wiping some onto her chin. Best scene so far, and all I can really say is that I'd like to see Clea in something good.

Scene 5:
Jessica, Lezlie.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Lezlie is some guy jacking off in front of a TV or an Edit suite. Jessica is an older looking (as in 28-30 instead of 18) blonde with heavy makeup, a large left shoulder tattoo and a huge tattoo on her crotch. Still, you can't see much of anything since the rest of the scene is mostly a close-up of her bobbing head on Lezlie's penis. Eventually he jerks a weak load onto her face. Boring.

Scene 6:
Nikky Rider (Aka Niki Rider, Vica Rider), Luigi Nazzari.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Nikky Rider, the reason I got this disc. You can see her on the back cover of the box. She gives a pretty good blowjob actually, with lots of eye contact to the camera. Eventually he jerks off into her mouth. Well, he mostly jerks off onto his own hand and penis, since he's laying down. She then licks it off of her hand, plays with it, and swallows. Well, this was the best scene on the disc, and while it pretty much sold me on the idea of getting a blowjob from Ms.Rider, it wasn't enough to carry the disc by itself.

Scene 7:
Nicole, Clark.
Dir: Trevor Black.

Nicole looks good, with a pretty face and black hair tied back and a nice natural body. She kneels down and it's POV blowjob time again. I guess Travor Black's MO is to always shoot BJs as POV. Clark seems to have a pretty big dick, with a huge curve in it. Nicole's face and smile really light up the screen, she eventually jerks him off onto her chin and mouth, but it's a mostly-transparent load, and most of it goes straight down, since he's laying on his back.

Scene 8:
Viktoria, Luiggi.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

This scene has a more typical gonzo set-up, with Viktoria walking up to the couch where Luiggi is sitting, before blowing him while fully clothed. Viktoria has asian features, a large berbell in her tongue, and a stud in her left nostril. In between sucks, she strips down to having her bra-half-off, showing her small natural breasts. She eventually jerks a decent load out of him, but most of it stays on her hand and his penis.

Scene 9:
Victoria Slim, Mike.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Mike sits on a chair pretending to read. Victoria, a very pretty blonde with her hair tied back and a nice manicure walks in wearing a sparkly black little black dress, and, you guessed it! begins to blow Mike. Eye contact is common when in the POV shots, but not when the action is shot from the side. She sucks and jerks him off into her mouth, with a big spurt over his stomach. Victoria looked very very nice, and I'd cetainly be interesed in seeing her in a "real" scene.

Scene 10:
Susanne Brend, David Perry.
Dir: David Perry.

Susanne looks like Claudia Ferrari, but with different tattoos, right down to the Mick Jagger Lips.. The location looks like a webcam room or something. There's like a mattress with a red background/wall behind it. She poses in lingere, then strips off her bra and panties exposing her pierced clit and shaved pubes, before moving over to david's prone lower torso and penis. The Blowjob starts, and after having seen her body in the brief pose, it's really a shame to just see her from the breasts up for the rest of the scene. Soon she sucks and jerks David off in her mouth, and as she removes him from her mouth a big glob of cum drops out of her mouth..

Scene 11:
Timea, Sly.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Timea has a Mediterranean look to her, with long curly black hair, though she's probably Hungarian like everyone else is ;). They briefly kiss, and then the lights inexplicably seem to be turned right down for the blowjob. Timea sucks and wanks Sly's dick and stares blankly at the camera, licks his balls, and goes back to the blowjob/wank with blank stare until Sly takes matters into his own hands and jerks a near-invisible load off ..somewhere. Boring.

Scene 12:
Barbi, Nico.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Nico sits at a desk, while Barbi kneels under the desk, sucking his dick. Barbi has dark hair and looks like she's probably attractive, but the scene is dark and I can only see the top of her head and her face from above. And there's a dick obscuring much of her face, so I can't see it. She sucks his dick for a while in the same shot, then they cut to probably the final seconds of Nico rubbing one out, some of which probably went near Barbi. Maybe.

Scene 13:
Cony Ferrara, Bruno Sx.
Dir: David Perry.

Cony is a somewhat attractive bleached blonde, though with the stripper-meter look turned up to 11, She has large, collagen lips and a perpetual stripper/porn snarl on her face, and she wears (initially) a black PVC corset which looks nice. Cony has a landing strip of pubic hair, and labia which stick out slightly. She stripper-poses for us briefly before removing the corset, revealing massive beach-ball breasts which look like they're made of concrete or fibreglass, as well as a pair of dragons tattooed on her stomach on either side of her belly-button. She also has an armband tattoo on her right bicep, a pair of scars on the underside of her chest-balls, as well as slightly upturned nipples. The parts of her body which aren't made of plastic look to be well-toned though. She gyrates and rubs her slit for a bit, revealing the big tattoo on her right flank, before kneeling and crawling towards the camera.

You know what comes next by now, she unzips Brunos fly (we don't see him from the waist up of course) and it's time for the mostly -POV blowjob with a bit of ball-licking and wanking till Bruno gives us a weak popshot and Cony rubs his dick all over her face. To her credit, Cony gives a pretty good-looking blowjob, and showed enough sluttishness to make me want to see her in a real DVD sometime.

Scene 14:
Anita, Leslie.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Anita is a blonde with glasses and dark roots who walks into a kitchen, kneels down and starts to blow Leslie, aka some guy in a red England top. Anita has a pierced tongue as well, we see. Eventually, she sucks and jerks a small watery load onto her mouth. Anita had a real "girl next door/girlfriend/girl from the office" look to her, so it looked more like "real" sex as in getting a spontaneous blowjob from a reasonably attractive girl as opposed to hot porno sex with a gorgeous model.

Scene 15:
Angie, Sziszi.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Angie is a petite blonde with glasses, who strips off for Sziszi, who appears to be trying to look like the guy from Green Day as he sits looking disinterested on a couch. Now-naked girl sits on him, he licks, sucks and caresses her, she unzips him, and, well you know the rest: A few minutes of too-close-up cocksucking in dim light until the guy jerks himself off to finish. Actually a decent popshot this time, except you can't see it properly because of poor lighting.

Scene 16:
Nicole, Joy.
Dir: Gianfranco Romagnoli.

Wow, I'm so glad this is the last scene. We start off with Nicole already on the stairs below Joy, sucking him off. She has fairly short light brown hair, and eyes the camera in a seductive fashion, while she sucks Joy. She has nice eye makeup, anyway. Again, the scene isn't lit well enough, and the close-ups are too close, so you can't really see what Nicole looks like. So yeah, again she sucks him, and he jerks an invisible load onto her mouth and chin. The End.

Well, not having seen anything from this series before, I can only say I'm quite disappointed in Private. Although not a compilation of scenes used elsewhere, near-all of the scenes were weak, even as blowjob-only scenes. Despite the stable of beauties that Private is famous for, the girls' looks varied quite a bit. If you want to see Private girls faces with cum on them, I'd suggest the Cumshot De Lux 4-disc set.

The main problems I have with this disc don't relate to the lack of actual sex - that's a given after all. No, the main problems with this disc are the mostly-poor lighting, and the mostly-weak cumshots. I mean, if you're selling a disc based on the cumshots, you could at least have some quality control on them. It's not like an otherwise-hot sex scene will make up for it, since there are no sex scenes.

2/10, and Nikki Rider earned one of those stars by herself.