Craving Foreskin Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  12/12/2002

Gee, a film with two adorable lily-white blond-headed twinks chowing down on and getting schtupped by big brown uncut cocks. Sounds good, hunh? I thought so, too. Boy was I in for a let down!

I guess since everyone was still around after finishing FORESKIN ISLAND, it was decided to crank out another mediocre film for the suckers out there. If these moguls had been in charge of a major legit studio we would all have had the opportunity to see Ishtar 2.

The setting is Puerto Rico and all through the film the background music is Latin songs that appear to be from old 78s and sung by the chipmunks. We discover Bryan Archer seated on a wall writing a letter about how his craving for foreskin has led him here. Then we see a Puerto Rican masturbating in the fields. Bryan comes upon him, sucks on him for a while, gets fucked doggy-style, and the guy cums on Bryan. Bryan is not enjoying it and the guy is not into it either; and that is the whole problem with this flick. No one is enjoying the sex! And if they aren’t enjoying it, how can we? Hell, it’s like watching a National Geographic Special or something on the Discovery Channel. You can even imagine a smarmy narrator saying, “This is an example of how homosexuals have intercourse. Note that one guy gets on all fours while the other gets behind him and inserts his penis into the anus, etc.”

Bryan now disappears until the end when we see him still writing his letter. It’s Brock Hensley who takes over from now on. Now, I adore Brock. Six foot one, young, slender, blond, a nice dick, super fellator, and voracious bottom. He comes upon a Puerto Rican standing against a tree playing with his cock. (Kind of reminds us of scene one, doesn’t it?) Anyway, this guy is a straight macho scoundrel with all the charisma of a horned toad. He babbles on in a sort of Spanglish as Brock sucks on his cock. (If anyone kept scornfully referring to me as “bitch” while I was sucking his cock, he would be in for an instant circumcision. Rule 42 in the “The Fellator’s Handbook”: never insult anyone with teeth while your dick is in their mouth.)

In the following scene Brock sucks on the skinny cock of a nicer guy (well, he’s really just indifferent.) This guy has very low hanging balls. He fucks Brock (without passion, of course).

Next we find two Puerto Ricans who actually suck cock. Brock joins them by going down on the one available cock. The unique thing here is that Brock gets double-fucked. He sits on the cock on one and the other slips his dick up along side his buddy’s. This sounds really hot, doesn’t it? It ain’t. Because as in all the scenes no one is having any fun! Whether they’re sucking or getting sucked or docking dicks or fucking or getting fucked, they’re like zombies.

Although Archer and Hensley are cute, the Ricans are all less than average. As far as the location photography goes, they might as well have been in Burbank. The sex is downright boring. (Even when Brock is double-fucked you just say “way to go, Brock”. You’re impressed, but not aroused.) If you are craving foreskin, look elsewhere!