Couples Vacation Review

Reviewed by Patrick Parker  on  10/21/2017

Four fighting couples arrive at a new-age retreat to rekindle lost flames. There, relationship therapist Britney Amber uses unorthodox techniques that inspire sexual openness and experimentation.

Couples Vacation is centered around yoni eggs. The ladies are supposed to insert an egg-shaped jade stone into their vagina and wear it at all times. Somehow, the egg is supposed to rebalance their yoni and lead to an improved relationship.

It’s based on a real thing. Yoni eggs have been around for over 5,000 years and were used by the Chinese nobility for all sorts of health benefits--including a higher libido. A lack of sex together with the libido-enhancing function of the egg lead to an epidemic of infidelity.

The plot feels a little forced. It’s as though they were trying too hard to come up with plausible reasons to have sex. Everything is very corny and it feels intentionally so.

It’s a lot like a cheesy horror film where you just sort of laugh through the plot to get to the good parts. But instead of slasher special effects, we get to see some pretty awesome sex, and who doesn’t want that?

Couples’ first sex scene features Mia Malkova. Randall builds up some sexual tension by having Tommy Gunn catch her spanking poon in the bathroom the night before. The next day, she needs some help getting her egg back in and Tommy is there to help. Tommy’s guns are more than Mia can handle and before you know it she’s completely naked and ready to fuck.

Mia Malkova has been an absolute godsend since she first started doing porn in the early 2010’s and wow--she has not lost a step. When it comes to fucking, she’s always so passionate and joyous.

They go through myriad positions and end with a BJ pop-shot with excellent eye contact. Randall keeps the camera in tight to highlight just how happy Mia is during and after her little romp.

Next up, Britney sets up a little trust activity where the men are supposed to lead their blindfolded girlfriends around. Natalia Starr and Ryan Mclane wind up alone together and guess what happens next.

Shot outdoors, Randall uses the space and natural framing to create a beautifully shot sex scene. As a film buff, it’s hard not to notice the background lighting and the excellent angles made between the handrailing and the trees as well as the contrast of Natalia’s naked body. It’s all very pretty.

There’s a big focus on pussy play right from the start--eating out, fingering, even just gazing between her spread-eagle legs. It’s gratuitous in all the right ways. Pretty soon Natalia is on all fours sucking Ryan’s dick before all-out fucking ensues. As the sun sets, the dramatic lighting seems to echo the spectacle of Natalia’s gyrating body.

Up to this point, Britney Amber, AVN’s 2010 Best New Starlet nominee has been nothing short of a tease. But when she confronts Nina North about a missing yoni egg, she delivers the beginnings of a delightful lesbian scene until boyfriend Chad White walks in.

A feigned argument occurs but Brittney spins it as a therapeutic experience. “Honey it’s hot. Watch.” Can’t deny that. Eventually he joins in and we’ve got a threesome. He’s the perfect buffer between Nina North’s sensuality and Britney Ambers more hardcore style.

Guided meditation goes awry when Olive Glass and Danny Mountain sneak off. Picturesque scenery and an impassioned performance make it a strong but short scene. It’s a quickie and it makes sense because they’ve got the get off and get back before the meditation is over.

Olive’s reverse cowgirl and cowgirl are to die for. Laid on the rock, Holly captures that subtle boob-jiggle in a tight shot as Olive reacts viscerally. And Mountain’s cumshot is phenomenal with post-jizz licking and sloppy play.

Holly’s two-shot provides a nice full-body view of Olive amidst evening shadows. Notice the way the branches and leaves play against her body--stunning!

Olive and Mia share the limelight in the final scene. Mia has figured out what’s been going on and the jig is up. Britney mediates an honest discussion where the two couples symbolically strip. You can guess where this is headed.

Once the couples are all nude, Brittney wants them to wife-swap to learn what it is that their partners like. The guys aren’t sold, but Mia and Olive have both always wanted to be with a woman. Who could argue with that?

For me, this is the strongest scene in Couples Vacation, specifically for the big smiles and absolute joy that Olive and Mia convey. There’s one part where Olive glances at Mia and gets such a kick out of this superstar choking down dick beside her. It’s like she breaks character just long enough to think “this is so cool!”

Olive’s joy mirrors the excitement that has been a hallmark in mia’s work. It’s like watching a raven haired version of Malkova. Just as Nina and Brittney’s scene played of the juxtaposition, the similarities shine here.

Big smiles and absolute joy. Olive glances at Mia and gets such a kick out of this superstar choking down dick beside her. It’s like she stops to think “this is so cool!”

Ryan and Olive put in great work. Just look at the way he pumps Mia for days. So hard too! And then you have Ms. Glass fucking with style. That’s the funny thing about this scene. There isn’t anything particularly unique, save for that epic kitchen. And yet Glass is just so elegant that you can’t take your eyes off her.

Mia’s no slouch either, showing the same lust for life as the first scene. It’s especially awesome when she’s getting fucked while eating out Olive’s pussy while Olive’s laid back sucking dick. It is so picturesque and so beautiful. I wonder if that position was blocked out by Randall or if the performers happened on it naturally.

But I wish she pulled out her signature backstretch blowjob move. It might be a bit cliche for her by now, but it’s something that most fans associate her with and look forward to. And the kitchen counter might have been the perfect place to do it.

Digital Playground’s Couples Vacation might have had a laughable story, but we ultimately watch pornography for the sex. As such, Couples delivers with worthy scenes for most hardcore fans.