Country Bares Review
Arena
joeblow69's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by joeblow69 on 6/18/2003
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Director: Casey & Peter O’Brian Cast: Ryan Foxx, Christian Luke, Danny Rhymes, Kyle Richards, Bo Kingsley, Alal Gregory, Marck Cirrano, Atom Masters, Joey Torres Story: A group of city slickers, on their way to a cabin in the woods, get lost and end up at a ranch full of country bumpkins. Most of the scenes involve older guy/younger guy pairings. Scene One Starring: Marck Cirriano, Atom Masters, Joey Torres Holy cow, is this painful to watch. First off, there are no bears in this scene. Marck is more of a cub than anything. The old guy in this scene (Atom) has no business being in porn. That sounds cruel, but he seriously has never seen the inside of a gym in his life. Hell, he’s got a bigger gut than me! To top it off, he can’t get an erection. I didn’t really find the other guys attractive, either, but at least they’re in shape! Marck does have a very nice cock, but that isn’t nearly enough to save this scene. Scene Two Starring: Christian Luke, Danny Rhymes Scene two fares a little better. Christian’s the older guy in this one, and he’s got quite the “foreign” look to him. He’s actually a bit more attractive in the movie than he is on the DVD cover. And he’s a bottom, too! Unfortunately, there isn’t really any heat here. It’s your standard suck and fuck scene, with only 2 positions: doggy style and missionary. Scene Three Starring: Ryan Foxx, Alan Gregory Argh! Get ready for some incredibly awful dialog to start off scene three. ”Is it true what they say about city boys?” ”What’s that?” ”That their assholes are pretty enough to lick, and they smell better than women folk!” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Who writes this stuff? Anyway, Ryan’s pretty good looking for an older guy (I loved his furry chest!), but Alan didn’t do anything for me at all. I know these guys were doing their best, but I just couldn’t get into it. Ryan fucks Alan doggie style, then pops his load on Alan’s back. Scene Four Starring: Kyle Richards, Bo Kingsley Finally, a scene worth watching! Kyle is incredibly hot (compared to the other guys)… slap a few more muscles on him, and I swear, he’d be the perfect Titan model. He’s got a nice cock, a good looking face, and just a hint of grey in his hair. If only he didn’t shave most of his chest hair! Sure, neither one of these guys are bears, but at this point, I don’t really care… I’m just happy to see a scene where I found all the participants attractive. The sex is pretty good, too! Kyle fucks Bo Kingsley cowboy and doggie style, and the camera guy actually got a few really nice penetration shots! Will wonders never cease! They finish up the scene jerking off, side by side. Audio/Visual Quality The music is non-obstructive, and the video is generally pretty good. I did notice some pixilation in scene 3, though. Extras There’s not much in terms of extras here, just a photo gallery and a link to their website. Final Word I appreciate what they were trying to do here… I love to daddy/son pairings as much as the next guy. But for some reason it just didn’t work. Maybe it was because I didn’t find any of the younger guys attractive? What would have really ruled, would have been to see all 3 older guys together (Ryan, Kyle and Christian). That would have been a sight to see! It’s too late for woulda, shoulda, coulda’s though. The only scene worth watching for me was the last one, thanks entirely to Kyle Richards. I can see Kyle going far in porn, but not if he keeps showing up in movies like this. Running Time: 82 minutes Send questions, and comments to: joeblow@joeblow69.com. |
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