Conjoined Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  12/19/2013

Conjoined twins Dina (Mischa Brooks) and Tina (Rilynn Rae) take turns having a lesbian relationship until the duo decide to part ways in CONJOINED (2013, Girlfriends Films) with no director or writer credited on the DVD sleeve. Widescreen. 2 hours and 21 minutes.

The prosthetic piece that holds the lovely sisters together in the film is curiously missing from the DVD cover; instead, the two are joined together by some sort of airbrushing effect for the four shot of the conjoined twins in the middle of their love interests. That prosthetic piece is barely noticeable in one of the pics on the back cover that also boasts "simply the most realistic sex in lesbian adult video".

Mischa Brooks gets the honor of narrating this flick from the point of view of conjoined twin Dina, who lets us know early on that one of the twins dies during an operation to separate them. Thus, the DVD integrates three lesbian sex scenes from the time that the twins were conjoined: a fantasy sequence shows the un-conjoined duo frolicking in bed with the lovely Odile; conjoined twin Tina (Rilynn Rae) meets thin blonde Sara (Chloe Foster) and those two engage in a kissing, sucking, rubbing and fingering fest in bed while conjoined twin Dina mostly stays under the covers; the tables turn when Dina strikes up a relationship with pale redhead Jay (Jay Taylor) and Tina takes her turn under the covers so that Dina can enjoy her sucking, fingering and rubbing time with Jay.

The conjoined twins and their lesbian lovers all end up in the same bed (no sex here) but the "complicated" situation forces Sara to leave, which leaves Tina downtrodden. The twins decide to separate and when one dies from the operation the other decides to seek revenge upon her dead conjoined sister's former lover.

And here is where the tone of CONJOINED changes and the DVD really loses its way. A final sex scene that occurs on a couch then on the floor between Sarah and a booty call (Chloe and Sinn Sage) adds about an extra 30 minutes running time to this flick and belongs in the extras where, by the way, you'll find no bonus scenes. The surviving twin has a change of heart and ends up with her sister's lover for the finale of this strange DVD. Narration reveals "in my skin, she lives always" as one sister speaks of the other.

So, there's a solid 1 1/2-2 hour film lurking here with only those three initial sexual encounters necessary. The opening fantasy sequence with the all girl three-way is fine just as it is. During those other encounters with one conjoined sister under the covers while the other has sex, why not have a running dialog of what the sister under the covers is thinking as she hears, occasionally sees her conjoined sister enjoying the passion of a lover?

Also, the filmmakers could have worked around the showing of the prosthetic, which just makes the DVD seem creepy every time it appears: the thing looks sooo fake.

The extras for CONJOINED are nothing special so let's put a few sentences together and try to make some sense out of this mess. This complex lesbian tale actually has much merit but the appearance of the prosthetic that holds the actresses together (at the hip, I may add) reveals, if nothing else, the fact that these two actresses, who do look alike in a sisterly way, are attached via this very bizarre artificial connecting piece that makes this tale less and less believable with every appearance.

There's a temptation to give this DVD a really crummy rating but let's give filmmakers credit for going out on a limb. The biggest failure is in that prosthetic effect; cover that up and there's a story here that is more interesting than just about every other porn flick floating around out there. So, let's give CONJOINED a final rating of !!! outta !!!!!