Confessions Of a Teenager Review

Reviewed by fu_q  on  5/7/2016

**Note – This review is based upon the web version of the film streaming on the AdultEmpire.com Unlimited service. As such, any bonuses haven’t been given a rating, and there could be some discrepancies between this version and other releases.**

Review:
A lifetime of sexual near-misses and bad experiences, coupled with a bizarre peanut butter fetish brought about by a creepy, sexual encounter with an aunt, has soured Zachary Strong on his ability to land women. Fortunately for him, a brunette gas attendant, Helen Madigan, lends a sympathetic ear (...and pussy...) in helping him turn things around. Such is the case in "Confessions of a Teenager" (a.k.a. "Confessions of a Teenage Peanut Butter Freak"), a decent, 1975 release from director Zachary Strong and Gourmet Video. While the plot is certainly wacky (and at times trippy) in this little fuck-flick from yesteryear--with its peanut butter theme and all--it's still quite watchable, and the sex isn't half-bad, either. A Constance Money anal is always a plus, as is the work of Madigan, as well. While it's likely going to appeal solely to a very specific audience--call them the "Golden Age"-only group--this film still has enough merit to be worth checking out.

(As a note: I'm not 100% sure that the younger iteration of Zachary Strong's lead character is actually Strong, as noted on the net, so I've denoted that version more nonspecifically.)

In terms of the sex, Scene One has Zachary Strong giving Kandi Johnson an extremely quick poke after a night out on the town (vaginal ; pop on her tummy). In Scene Two, Zachary's character flashbacks to a time when his aunt, Jacque Hanson, walks in on him while masturbating and, in the confusion that ensues, she catches a (fake) load on the face and then drops his peanut butter sandwich on his cummy dick. Their follow-up talk about the evils of jerking off quickly devolve into an incest- (and peanut butter-) fueled fucking (oral, vaginal). Scene Three finds Zachary's character in another flashback, this time chancing upon his cousin and her friend (Karen Reed and Constance Money, respectively) frolicking on the bed (fingers, strap-on by Constance on Karen), before he's found out and forced into the "fun" (Scene Four). They handcuff him, strip him down, play with his asshole, and give him the fuckie and the suckie (oral-both ladies, vaginal-both, anal-Money ; apparent cream-pie by Reed). In Scene Five, Helen Madigan, a gas attendant friend of Zachary's, recounts a time when she played hide and seek with Charles Swanson and Malcom Healy out in a meadow. She ends up stripped out of her clothes and then taken in the grass (oral-both, vaginal-both ; cum-shot on her bush by Swanson and in her mouth by Healy). Scene Six (still in the past) has Zachary's character's friend, a young John Holmes, trying to hook him up with a freaky, chess-obsessed acquaintance of his, Veronica Taylor. Holmes is far more deft with the ladies, however, getting in on her first, whilst leaving his inept buddy to abortively wank his willy on the sidelines for most of the action (oral-Holmes, vaginal-both ; money-shot by Zachary's character on her bush and by Holmes on her face and in her mouth). In Scene Seven, Helen Madigan seduces Zachary at her apartment after hearing his pathetic life story. They fuck and, dare I say it, make love. There really is someone for everyone. How sweet... (vaginal).