Classic Shags Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  4/7/2014

CLASSIC SHAGS (2014, Viv Thomas) is a disappointing boy/girl flick with Euro performers trying out satirical takes on classic porn of yesteryear. Yes, there's the pizza guy or the maid or the plumber or TV repairman or the computer geek. If the Euro performers are not up to the task of delivering these scenarios in English, the filmmakers just drown out there stilted dialog with bad muzak. Also a few scenes are visually lacking, which has never been the case in other Viv Thomas productions that I've reviewed.

Wide screen. No condoms. Few extras. About 2 hours and 20 minutes.

Up first is 'hungry girl' Angel Snow who has no money to the pay 'pizza guy' Matt Byrd. A nice 69 leads to doggy and more doggy and a cum shot on the tush---!! 1/2

Long limbed 'cleaning lady' Mira Sunset dusts off 'serious man' Sabby. She rides him side-saddle and the duo fuck in a few other straight sex positions before she flattens into doggy and takes a cum shot on the tush---!!!

The music is louder than the dialog when 'plumber guy' Pete Longhorn comes to play with 'naughty girl' Vanda Lust who drops a wrench on his balls in the bathroom. She sooths him in the bedroom with lots of kissing, straight sex positions, cock sucking and more kissing after his load lands on her tush---!! 1/2

Heeeeeeee's back. This time, 'the cable man' Sabby fixes a TV for 'housewife' Hennesy. More lame music that's louder than the crummy dialog plus suspect videography detract from what could have been a terrific scene with a foot fucking focus. A nice bit where she lies flat on the bed so that he can thrust his prick in between her feet in the air. Oh well---!! 1/2

Undressing 'young lady' Ria Rodriquez can not get the attention of the 'computer guy' Totti, who has his eyes glued to a nearby computer screen. She puts on a black bra and panties and gets his attention. Those panties stay on for awhile then come off for a doggy position that concludes with Totti taking awhile to land a cum shot on her butt cheek. A super cute girl in a scene that never quite captures her Latina skin tone in the right light---!! 1/2

So, CLASSIC SHAGS (2014, Viv Thomas) is not up to the usual standards of this Euro production company. All of these "classic shag" set-ups are really weak then the last two scenes suffered from poor visual quality as well. How about a head scratcher DVD cover with its weird graphics? Bad news, Viv! !! outta !!!!!