Chyna is Queen of the Ring Review

Reviewed by fu_q  on  9/28/2013

**Note – This review is based upon the web version of the film released on Vivid’s official website. As such, the bonuses haven’t been given a rating here, and there could be some discrepancies between this version and the DVD release.**

Review:
It’s “Fucklemania” time, and Chyna has been brought back into the ring to fuck her way through the ranks of wrestling’s legendary elite. Such is the attempt in “Chyna is Queen of the Ring”, a not-so-great parody from Vivid that features the one-time female wrestling star in a variety of sexual scenarios. While the idea here is a unique one—and had potential—the execution in most of the sequences pretty much falls through. This is particularly true for the gangbang but also for much of the rest of the action, as well. Chyna seems to shine when another, more-experienced actress is partaking in the festivities with her, but when she’s on her own, she seems a bit inexperienced (…hard to blame her…) and, perhaps, not so into the goings-on. Unfortunately, this one simply misses the mark.

In terms of the sex, Scene One brings together Lee Stone (as “Vince”), Lisa Ann (as Vince’s daughter, “Stephanie”), and Chyna (as herself) backstage in Chyna’s locker room. The whole affair is Chyna’s idea, as she’s going to exact a toll for her comeback to the ring. Within moments, both Lee and Lisa Ann have her glittery miniskirt pulled aside, and they’re off. There’s some sexy girl/girl and boy/girl action here, though Lisa and Lee never really cross the daughter-daddy line, and the good times come to a close with Stone unloading on Chyna’s tits. Good sequence.

In Scene Two, Chyna gets banged out in the middle of the ring by Marco Banderas (as the “Iron Sheik”), an actor (as “Bret Hart”), T.J. Cummings (as “John Cena”), Sledgehammer (as “the Rock”), Cyrus King (as “Stone Cold”), another actor (as a clown), yet another actor (as “Triple H”), and Tommy Pistol (as the announcer,“Mean Gene”; entering near the end). After funny intros for the guys, Chyna makes her way to the squared-circle in a metallic-blue miniskirt with a white thong beneath, and all of the wrestlers descend upon her. She chokes down and takes a lot of cock as things progress, though it’s clear that she hasn’t done much gang-banging over the years. Chyna puts forth her best effort—and doing one of these for the first time can’t possibly be easy—but there is something of a “deer-in-the-headlights” feel here. Over the course of the proceedings, she takes several pop-shots—all facials, save one fully on the tits, and most of them at the end. The action does pick up after about the mid-point in this one, but—overall—it’s not a strong sequence. (An audience of some sort—to keep up the mystique—might have been nice…but that may be asking too much.)

Scene Three pairs up Ron Jeremy and the ring-girl, Valerie Kay, backstage on / around a table. With only a bit of buildup, Ron has her black form-fitting mini-skirt hiked up and his face buried in her crotch. He pokes her a bit, and then Chyna makes her entrance in order to finish him off (Scene Four). She’s in the same skirt as in the prior gangbang, and the two get right down to business. Oral and vaginal action proceeds, with Chyna doing the “countdown” and Ron popping on cue on her pussy and pelvis. Both of these sequences pretty much fall flat.

In Scene Five, Chyna races out to the ring in a black and pink top and panties to take on Evan Stone (as “Hulk Hogan”) and Alex Sanders (as “Ric Flair”). An oral, vaginal, and anal affair follows, with the two guys putting the female combatant through her paces. The action is still fairly slow here, though it’s laudable that Chyna is willing to open up the backdoor, and this sequence is better than the three that immediately precede it. There’s some repeated ass-to-pussy that goes on, and the festivities are finished off with Alex popping on her face and neck and, a few minutes later, Evan following suit (…oral cock clean-off…).

In all, this release was a novel idea—and it definitely had potential—but it simply falls flat too often and misses the mark. With more experience, Chyna would have likely been a stronger performer, but she seems to require another female actress with her to be effective here. I’m going to have to recommend passing on this one.

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