Can You Be a Pornstar? 3 & 4 Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  5/10/2005

“Can You Be a Pornstar, Episodes 3 and 4” might be used as a primer for aspiring smut sluts. However, it should not be construed as a true hardcore XXX feature.

Episode 3 follows the lives of four porn star wannabes as they audition for a part in a movie and $100,000 cash. The girls, however, are anything but rookies to the jizz biz. Blonde Brit Jamie Brooks and brunettes Demi Marx, Kat, and Erica have been around for years, so experienced viewers will throw out the storyline immediately.

This self-acclaimed “reality” story is shot in MTV-style, with lots of switches to black and white and tons of distracting editing cuts. It’s also done in Playboy Channel fashion, which means there is really no hardcore sex (meaning boners and insertions) shown.

The girls arrive at a house, welcomed by hostess Mary Carey. There are a series of interviews, posing sessions, more interviews, a shopping spree for dildos and toys, more interviews, some oil wrestling (with Tabitha Stevens hosting and Ginger Lynn, Mr. Marcus, and Veronica Hart judging), and a group therapy session with Dr. Ava Cadell, a reputed radio sex psychologist.

Finally, some 30 minutes into the film, Demi gets her boyfriend to come over for a little after hours frolicking. Alas, the scene cuts away just as the two start getting hot and heavy. Next, the girls get to audition in actual porn scenes (using such hackneyed storylines as the pool boy and the household maid). Again, there is no true hardcore camerawork, and you can show the resulting action to a troop of boy scouts and not get a reaction. The judges critique the girls after each scene.

And that’s it! No cock sucking, no fucking, no cumshots, just more boring interviews and inane questions. What a complete waste of talent! Viewers are asked to vote for their favorites on a website. The End.

Episode 4 is exactly like Episode 3 (including the same exact intro by Stevens), but substitute brown-haired cuties Shy Love, Boo Delicious, and Maile and blonde Sophia for the girls. New judges here include Dick Smothers and Heather Hunter. Same disappointing stuff!

The DVD offers a Slide Show, Trailers, and Internet information. It was hard to tell if condoms were used as no erections were shown. The closing credits list the director as Faye Kneighm (get it, Fake Name?). Aren’t they cute? I wouldn’t put my real name on this trash either.