Bikini Pick Ups Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  2/11/2009

BIKINI PICK UPS (2008, Adam & Eve) is an 137 minute adult feature of five vignettes shot on HD and recorded in Dolby Digital that lists November of 2008 as the production date on the DVD sleeve but the actual feature lists production dates from June and July of 2008. Stony O'Neil gets directing and camera credit at the conclusion of the feature but James Avalon receives directing credit on the DVD sleeve. My guess is that the rather sloppy visual results were taken to Avalon and/or an editor to try and clean up the visual look of this DVD. So, somewhere along the line, these over exposure effects were added so that what was suppose to be balanced photography curiously shifts in and out of this scratched-up-film look. Nice try but this DVD is still messy in an overall visual sense, and as such, drags down the disc a notch or two or three.

The premise: a few guys pose as photographers and gather up a sunbathing beauty from a deserted beach and lure her to their studio, where they take a few pix and seduce her. The results are 5 mostly overlong scenes with each scene beginning with a lame pick-up. Sexual stuff is typical blow job action followed by a series of straight sex positions and a pop shot or two depending on what Stony adds to the mixxx. (Stony O'Neil usually shows up with a camera and shoots some POV stuff while the female performer gives him head so the scene also shifts in and out of his POV photography)

The female performers look great thanks to the make-up and hair folks and the guys are pleasant enough in looks and demeanor but the presentation is severely lacking.

THE GIRL IN THE GOLDEN BIKINI
Scene 1---Veronique Vega & Alan Stafford & Stony

The guys lure Veronique to the studio, a house with some camera lights, where she eventually pops off her golden bikini top and shows off her terrific small natural boobs. VV is a really cute girl with short black hair and black fingernail polish, which gives her a sort of mild goth-look. The stratched up film visuals start up and that sort of works with her particular look. Veronique takes a straight sex pounding as her ass looks divine in the doggie moments. The action shifts to the couch where Stony dribbles out a cumshot then Alan pulls out of Veronique riding reverse cowgirl and drops his load on his stomach for Veronique to play with, lick a bit, suck his cock a bit.

A solid 25 minute scene with an incredibly beautiful young woman that is less hampered by all the scratched up visual effects and Stony stuff. Shooting indoors with more natural light coming through a window helped---!!! outa !!!!!

THE GIRL IN THE ORANGE BIKINI
Scene 2---Ann Marie Rios & Alan Stafford

So why does it take 8 minutes for our photographers to finally convince Ann Marie to pop off her orange bikini top? Ann Marie looks great as she sports a more latina look here than scenes earlier in her career. Her hair is redder in color plus she lets loose some spanish during straight sex fucking with Alan. He twists her up into some wonderful mish positions on a red hassock that allows Ann Marie to put her yoga abilities to good use. There's also a wonderful overhead shot of the duo on a round rug with Ann Marie grinding away in cowgirl and proclaiming "it's a fucking good day at the beach." Well, yea, sort of. Her straight sex performance is fine but the erratic visuals hamper this overly long 32 minute scene---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

THE GIRL IN THE LIGHT BLUE BIKINI
Scene 3---Lindsey Meadows & Van Damage & Stony

Lindsey has a tattoo that looks like a blob resting on her shoulder during the exterior pick-up sequence but she looks fine once the scene moves indoors. Lindsey has wonderful big blue eyes and a terrific smile as she gives the most giddy performance of the five females. She has small boobs and a terric tush and long blonde hair. A blowjob turns into a guy/guy/girl blowjob and doggie fuck with Lindsey then alternating in straight sex positions for about 20 minutes. At one point, she rolls up her light blue bikini into her fists, which give her hands the appearance of being tied up. The cumshot landing on her tush ends this scene---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

THE GIRL IN THE PUNK POLKA DOT
Scene 4---Cameron Love & Mikey Butders & Stony

After 9 minutes of set-up, the trio end up in a room near a fireplace and other earthy toned furniture that matches the copper colored pigtales of our gal in the pink polka dot bikini. She crawls over to a seated Mikey and gives him a blow job. With cute perky titties and pale tush, Cameron sucks Stony for some POV shooting while Mikey doggie fucks her. She settles into some spirited straight sex positions and allows Mikey to lightly pull her hair after she yanks on her pigtails herself. She ends up mished upon the carpet and takes Mikey's cumshot into her mouth and allows a bit to dribble out. Special mention needs to go to the hair and make-up department for taking this rather plain young lady and making her very sexy; yet, it all takes awhile to get going, plus the erratic visual quality hampers this 25 minute scene---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

THE GIRL IN THE BLACK BIKINI
Scene 5---Jessie Alba & Eric Swiss & Stony

The pattern on Jessie's bikini bottom nearly matches the tattoo in the small of her back. She's a cute "new to the business " girl with small titties and long dark hair with a super smile and big brown eyes. Jessie engages in a double blow job that allows Stony to shoot some POV footage which also includes his later cumshot on her ass while doggie doing her on a day bed. Eric handles her the rest of the scene as the duo trade sex positions and some blowjob moments until Eric drops his load on Jessie's tits. Cute, cute girl, nice chemistry between her and Eric but the presentation is lacking---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

This DVD contains a load of extras, which, sadly, cannot make up for the problems with the feature. Bree Olson and James Deen perform in a series of spirited and well-photograhed straight sex positions in a 21 minute bonus scene from BREE'S BEACH PARTY; the titty fucking finale with a loaded cumshot to Bree's nipples is the highlight---!!! 1/2 outa !!!!! There's a 19 minute Behind the Scenes where we discover Veronique is heading to law School, more hard core footage of Ann Marie, Jessie giving Stony a toe and foot job. 12 minutes of Deleted Scenes are fun, plus there's a 6 minute Photo Gallery, website info, phone sex, etc. Previews include these titles---GLORY HOLES & BAD GIRLS, SHADES OF ROMONA, SWEET CANDY GIRLS, F.I.L.F, SEX GALLERY.

Finally, BIKINI PICK UPS was not much of a pick me up. The uninspired and redundant pick-up sequences overly pad the length of this 2 hour and 17 minute DVD. Then, the whacky visual effects paired with Stony POV cam intrusions hamper the overall look and flow to what is a solid straight sex performance between the male and female stars. Veronique Vega's scene stuck with me but all of the other scenes fall into a similar consistently sloppy pattern. It's not a good sign when the bonus scene and other special features are better than the main feature. My main concern is the quality of the feature so a rating of !! outa !!!!! seems well-deserved.