Big Wet Tits 2 (Elegant Angel) Review

Director

Thomas Zupko

Cast

Daria Glover, Laura Lion, Angel Dark, Veronica Vanoza, Veronica Da Souza, J.J.

Genre

All Sex

Condoms

None

Running Time of Main Feature

1 Hr.  54 Mins.

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those who like breast-centric movies with some pretty high energy sex in a no-nonsense, somewhat drab, all-sex environment.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those looking for much in the way of good chemistry or sexual interaction.

REVIEWER'S DISCLAIMER REGARDING ELEGANT ANGEL:
Over the period of December 5th through December 8th, 2002, Mrs. MLyons (my wife), Speelie (another ADT reviewer) and I were the guests of Patrick Collins and Elegant Angel.  We spent time visiting their facilities and giving them feedback from the consumer's point of view about their adult video content--especially as it related to their DVDs.  This was a singular opportunity for me and in the process I was fortunate enough to meet several of Elegant Angel's directors, administrative personnel, and even some of the talent that they employ.  Conversely, they were able to get feedback from three fairly representative porn fans in order to improve their product.  This disclaimer is offered to the reader as a warning about any possible bias either for or against Elegant Angel that I might exhibit in my reviews subsequent to this visit.  I will, of course, make every effort to remain as true to my gut feelings as possible, but in the interest of full disclosure, I feel that this disclaimer is necessary.

REVIEW:
This is my second exposure to the Zupko "Big Wet" line of videos.  My first was Big Wet Asses #5, which aside from the mind-numbingly repetitive nature of the setups, I actually liked rather well.  I picked up Big Wet Tits #2 at the same time, and I fear that this disc will feature the same kind of regimented formula--perhaps a formula that's effective, but one that's all used up by the time you get to the second or third scene.  For many porn fans, the major perk of this disc will be somewhat obvious--and her name is Angel Dark.  She's a breathtakingly stunning girl, and has proven the ability to fuck with the best of them.  Laura Lion isn't too shabby either in my eyes, and as for the others, well this will be my first exposure to them.  Let's see what we've got here.

Daria Glover & JJ.

Daria is pretty, but not breathtaking.  She has the requisite nice rack, of course, and it is predictably oiled up before the scene begins.  She talks to the camera a bit before JJ joins her and they engage in an extended session of deep throating, which Daria is plenty good at, I must say.  She also takes a brief respite to rim JJ's ass before returning to her cocksucking duties.  It's not long before JJ sticks his dick in her pussy, and then in her ass in several positions--including some cowgirl anal and a nice lookin' doggy anal on a chair.  He does some ass to pussy moves, which I don't much care for, and after a high energy work out, he cums on her tits.  I just found this scene terribly boring.  This scene is all about plenty of hard anal fucking, but nothing about it speaks of any chemistry or connection.  It puts on a good front, but ultimately did nothing for me.  I have no doubt that others will totally disagree with me, and will find plenty to like here.  I'm sorry I can't offer you folks more positive thoughts.

Daria Glover Video Captures
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Laura Lion & JJ.

I find Laura very attractive, with a nice tight body and great breasts.  She starts out in a bath tub, playing with her tits when JJ comes along a playfully covers her mouth with some sort of green fabric.  It's only an isolated image, and he quickly joins her in the bathtub and doesn't waste much time massaging her tits before putting his cock inside her.  A bathtub full of water may be just the ticket for some viewers, but for me I just can't think of a more awkward and uncomfortable place to have sex.  The entire scene takes place inside it, and it, along with JJ's seemingly unfocused, showy energy just seems to suck all the life out of this scene.  Don't get me wrong, the fucking  (which does not include any anal) is plenty spirited, but like the first scene, there's no genuine looking heat to be found.  Laura is gorgeous, but aside from that, there was just nothing I liked about this scene.

Laura Lion Video Captures
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Angel Dark & JJ.

Ok.  This scene finally brings some signs of life.  Angel is one of the most beautiful women working in porn today--and I'm not kidding about that.  If you haven't seen her in action, gentle porn fans, you must get a look at her at least once.  This may not be the scene to watch when you do--if you ask me, I'd recommend her scene in Christoph Clark's Euro Domination #2 for that--but that's neither here nor there.  In any case, Angel does look fantastic, and she sits at the bottom of a staircase, while massaging some oil into her flawless breasts before our old pal JJ shows up to massage them for her.  He then inexplicably covers them with some cellophane (don't ask me why) while she sucks his cock, but thankfully the breast wrapping is a short lived little gag.  What follows is some pretty darn hot action, as JJ seems a lot less spastic and annoying here, and seems to get more into the sexual flow of things.  The action is still a bit all over the map at times, and there's a lot of very obvious hammy, camera-happy moments that go on, which get a bit tiring after a while (pussy to mouth, the obvious moving of limbs out of the way, getting into weird and awkward positions for the benefit of the camera, etc.) but regardless, Angel looks just amazing getting fucked, and JJ seems to keep a cooler head while he enjoys the privilege.  Perhaps that is what makes all the difference in this scene.  They remain on the stairway, fumbling around in many positions, trying not to kill themselves while the camera catches it all, and eventually JJ comes on Angel's shiny breasts.  Although this is by no means the best Angel Dark scene I've ever witnessed, it is by far my favorite scene on the disc--if only for Angel's undeniably fuckable assets, and JJ's uncharacteristically relaxed demeanor.

Angel Dark Video Captures
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Veronica Vanoza & JJ.

Veronica is a very short haired brunette with a great body.  I can't say that I find any fault with her at all, except that for whatever reason she just doesn't do it for me.  She starts out the scene in the same bathtub featured in Laura's scene above, playing with her gorgeous breasts in the water before JJ shows up to do his duty.  In the absence of any real attraction for Veronica, I can't help but focus on stupid things as I watch this scene--most prominently, I kept thinking about what challenges the performers kept facing by having to fuck in a bath full of tepid water.  There are a lot of abrupt cuts and equally awkward position changes that seemed to support my thought experiment, and I know this isn't what you want to hear about, but well, aside from a lot of pussy fucking and the resulting water splashes, there really wasn't much exciting here to talk about.  The two of them have high energy.  The sex is captured with competence.  JJ eventually cums on Veronica's pretty tits, and I pretty much just shrugged my shoulders wondering why I felt so blase about the whole encounter.  Mayhaps you'll feel differently.

Veronica Vanoza Video Captures
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Veronica Da Souza & JJ.

I have to admit that I've never been one for mixing food and sex.  It's just never done it for me--much to my wife's disappointment.  I just end up wanting to clean everything up so that the meal can be over and the sex can start.  Unfortunately for me, this one starts with Veronica and a can of whipped cream, which she eagerly sprays all over her tits in order to get them dutifully wet.  JJ joins her and helps her with the whipped cream application, which really gets quite messy before they're all done.  They start fucking and the cream all thins out well enough, but just when I start to get interested again, JJ is ramming his cock down Veronica's throat, and a few times it looks like she's about to throw up--and that doesn't help me get anything resembling a woody either.  ::sigh::  Finally the scene sort of turns into what all the other scenes eventually turn into--high energy pussy fucking, only this time on a wooden table.  The thing is, I don't see any connection between the performers here at all.  They might as well be lifelike robots who perform their function without any need to really acknowledge the other's existence except in lining up their genitals for fast-paced, soulless penetration.  I may be sounding pretty harsh there, and I must point out that I'm sure some people will really dig this scene for all its elements.  I just wasn't one of them.  JJ cums on Veronica's mouth--finally--and I'm just left wholly uninterested in what's gone on.  They certainly do the job well, and with gumption, but it seemed to me more like a high-impact sexual workout rather than a passionate encounter between two human animals.

Veronica Da Souza Video Captures
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EXTRAS:
Bonus Scene from Big Wet Tits #1 with Diamond Foxxx and Brian Surewood :  28 Mins  This scene does show a tiny bit more creative spark behind it than any of the scenes in Big Wet Tits #2, although I have absolutely not attraction for Diamond Foxxx.  For some reason, Brian Surewood is "in trouble"--whatever that means--and Diamond seems happy to repeatedly accuse him of being stupid, and wondering "why the fuck he did that".  As near as I can tell, we never find out exactly what "that" was, but evidently it isn't important.  She oils up her tits in front of him and then crawls across the desk that separates them and sticks his cock between her breasts.  After that, it's pretty much the same ol' same ol'.  Oily tits, cocksucking, pussy and ass fucking in a number of positions, and a titty cumshot to finish it off.  It's all performed with some nice energy, and Diamond can be quite the dirty talker when she wants to be.  An additional perk for this scene is that JJ isn't here, and that's a nice change of pace considering what I've just watched.  Finally, although I may not find her that attractive, there's no denying that Diamond is a good performer, with a tight, stripper-esque body and a nice pair of tits.  Brian cums on her face, and I'm left feeling that this is a pretty good scene, and a very good extra, even if it is tacked on to a somewhat mediocre movie.
Trailers : Big Wet Asses, Big Wet Asses #2, Big Wet Asses #3, Big Wet Asses #4, Big Wet Asses #5, Big Wet Tits.
Photo Gallery

OVERALL:
Welp....

I'll tell ya what--a lot of people really liked this disc.  As always, I encourage you to check out some alternate opinions, all of which are more favorable than mine is.  MASAMUNE has a nicely done review, as does Bono-ONE, and 1on1fan.  I really would check out what they have to say, because I don't know what it is exactly, but I didn't much like this disc at all.  Perhaps it was JJ and his hammy, over the top showmanship--where it seemed to me he was more interested in fucking the camera than fucking the girls.  Perhaps it was the lack of imagination in the set ups.  Perhaps it was the unbelievably drab locations, or what looked to be just downright awkward settings in which to fuck (the bathtub especially).  Perhaps I just wasn't into most of the girls.  I really don't know, but I found very little evidence of sexual chemistry or human connection exhibited here, and even when the eye-candy was at its peak for me with Laura Lion and Angel Dark, there were a number of problems that I couldn't ignore.  Angel's was easily the best scene on the disc for my taste, if only because she's so amazingly beautiful and hot at the same time, and JJ seemed to dial back his annoying antics a smidge for her scene.  Beyond that, there's a halfway decent scene in the extras, but those are about the nicest things I can say about this disc.  Given all that, though, if you really have a special affinity for any of these girls, you like the breast-centric theme, and you like your sex with a lot of uncompromising rabbit-like energy, this disc might just be your ticket.  If you're looking for any chemistry though, I'd strongly caution you against anything more than a rental.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons