Big Wet Asses 5 Review

Director

Thomas Zupko

Cast

Stacy Silver, Anastacia Christ, Laura Lion, Simone Peach, Nikki Sun, J.J., Bobby, George Uhl.

Genre

All Sex

Condoms

None

Running Time of Main Feature

2 Hrs. 15 Min.

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those who like a lot of anal sex with some very pretty euro-girls.  Those who like the somewhat messy, but shiny environment of oil smeared bodies.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those who don't like anal sex.  Those looking for a little more than competently captured, "cheap hotel room" production values.

REVIEWER'S DISCLAIMER REGARDING ELEGANT ANGEL:
Over the period of December 5th through December 8th, 2002, Mrs. MLyons (my wife), Speelie (another ADT reviewer) and I were the guests of Patrick Collins and Elegant Angel.  We spent time visiting their facilities and giving them feedback from the consumer's point of view about their adult video content--especially as it related to their DVDs.  This was a singular opportunity for me and in the process I was fortunate enough to meet several of Elegant Angel's directors, administrative personnel, and even some of the talent that they employ.  Conversely, they were able to get feedback from three fairly representative porn fans in order to improve their product.  This disclaimer is offered to the reader as a warning about any possible bias either for or against Elegant Angel that I might exhibit in my reviews subsequent to this visit.  I will, of course, make every effort to remain as true to my gut feelings as possible, but in the interest of full disclosure, I feel that this disclaimer is necessary.

REVIEW:
My last, and as it happens, first exposure to Thomas Zupko as a director was Supersquirt with the delectable Tiana Lynn. I was very impressed with the movie, not only for Tiana's performance, but also for the way it was put together. William H. co-directed that title with Zupko, and he is running camera for him in this one. That precedent was enough for me to pick up another couple of titles boasting Zupko's name, including Big wet Asses #5. This title offers an impressive cast of Euro-babes, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of Zupko's less conventional, but no less passionate, take on gonzo-style pornography.  But before I get started, I would encourage you to check out some alternate opinions.  My fellow ADTer's, mr october, Bono-ONE, and pornopunk all have excellent reviews of this title that cover more of the details than I do.

Stacy Silver & One Guy.

Stacy is a very pretty blonde, and she looks great here. She starts out teasing the camera with some serious oil action applied to her ass and legs. That shiny, wet look is not a particular fetish of mine, but it is, in fact, the theme of the movie, so I have no complaints. In truth, it looks rather great, and before long a fairly attractive man joins Stacy and they start in on the main event. Stacy can easily deep throat him, and she looks yummy doing it. William H. is running camera, and his work in that regard is satisfying as always. It's not too long before the pussy fucking, and yes, ass fucking begins. Overall this is a very good scene--with some hard anal sex that is refreshingly absent of any ugly or abusive undertones. Stacy is a very sexually expressive woman without being over the top, and both performers seem to enjoy the pairing. It's sort of a Euro-style intensity that really marks a blessed counterpoint to the uncompromising scream-fests that populate most American gonzo these days. The scene caps off with a nice, nasty facial, and I found the whole spectacle quite satisfying, thank you very much.

Stacy Silver Video Captures
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Anastacia Christ & One Guy.

As much as Stacy Silver's scene worked for me in its own, somewhat surprising way, this one just... didn't.  I don't know what it was, but one contributing factor is the possibility that Anastacia, herself, just isn't as interesting to me.  She's pretty enough, and certainly blonde enough, but for whatever reason she doesn't spark the fire within.  There is a lot, I mean a lot of anal action here, to the point where that's pretty much all the scene is.  There's nothing wrong with that of course, but the dynamic between the performers was just so flat-out weird at times that I had trouble really getting into the sex.  At times Anastacia seemed playful and totally into what was happening, but at others, she looked like nothing more than a oil-slicked, anal meat-puppet who really didn't want this guy's dick inside her anymore.  Then at still other times, there was a sort of contentious sparring going on, where the desires of the performers clashed, and it looked to me more like a wrestling match than a sex scene.  I'm sure there will be some people that really enjoy this kind of unconventional dynamic, but I just couldn't get into it.  As I said, there's lots of anal sex in that dirty, oily environment, and it's all capped off with a facial, but I was pretty much relegated to being "soft and perplexed" the whole time.

Anastacia Christ Video Captures
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Laura Lion & One Guy.

Mmm.  Laura Lion is very pretty.  And since this is pretty much the same scene as every other scene on the disc, it really comes down to whether or not you really like the girl.  In this particular case, I really really do.  Laura is a thin brunette with a nice ass, and above average sized tits.  The sequence of action follows the formula, as we see Laura alternately inserting her fingers into her ass and her mouth and then repeats the process several times.  Her ass is nice and oily, and it shows through the sheer, white, lingerie fabric that initially covers it.  The scene is all anal, all the time, and like so many Euro girls, Laura seems totally at ease with whatever the man's cock can dish out.  Their encounter is filled with some low-key enthusiasm, and some fantastic "wet" eye candy as they progress through the standard catalog of anal positions and A2M interludes.  It finally ends in a nice facial, and because I loved watching Laura so much, I really have to give this scene high marks.  Beware though, Laura herself is the ONLY thing that distinguishes this scene from any of the others on the disc.  The action is all the same.

Laura Lion Video Captures
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Simone Peach & One Guy.

Simone is a nice lookin' brunette with a pretty smile and, indeed, a big ass.  Watching her repeatedly finger her backdoor during the tease sequence is certainly formulaic by now, but it's a formula that works.  Before long, the obligatory guy comes in to help Simone out with his own gloved fingers, and a fresh helping of oil.  This transitions to some nice, messy cocksucking, with a fair amount of spit being transferred from his mouth to hers.  Then it's straight to the a-hole, and this scene turns out to be quite satisfactory if I do say so myself.  Simone is up for it all, with a lot of anal, a lot of A2M (not really my bag, but nevertheless, it works with her enthusiasm here), and even a tiny little bit of pussy fucking for the sake of completeness.  It all ends rather abruptly with a helping of cum delivered into Simone's mouth (which, for those who care about such things, she does not swallow).  It left me a little wanting to see more of Simone's pretty smile and her anal-centric enthusiasm.  Alas.  This is all I get for now.  This was a good solid porn scene, particularly for fans of what I'm discovering is the Big Wet Asses paradigm.

Simone Peach Video Captures
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Nikki Sun & One Guy.

This is pretty much the same scene right down to the same bland, scumble-walled room, only with a different girl.  Nikki is a fairly attractive blonde who ultimately isn't as interesting to me as some of the others on the disc.  The action is the same, with some tease and oily shininess, and a lot of fairly enthusiastic anal sex.  Nothing stood out as particularly interesting to me here (except perhaps the neat-lookin' pile-driver), and since for whatever reason, Nikki didn't get my motor running, I think anything more I might say would just be redundant.  It's a fair scene, if you like Nikki.

Nikki Sun Video Captures
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EXTRAS:
Here are the highlights of the extras included on the disc:

Bonus Sex Scene from Big Wet Asses #2 - Mason Storm & Brian Surewood: 30 Mins.  Mason looks nice, but this scene goes to show that there hasn't been much, if any, change in the formula of this series since its inception.  Lots of shiny ass.  Lots of anal, and a facial to cap it all off.  Granted the formula is effective, it's just stubbornly unwavering.
Behind the Scenes--Euro-tripping:  1 Min.  This is barely worth mentioning.  It's just a tiny amount of footage, mostly of Tiana Lynn, and probably more rightly belongs on the Supersquirt DVD, but even then, there isn't anything particularly interesting here anyway.
Bloopers: Less than 4 Mins.  Some behind the scenes action, which I must say includes some wood-killing interaction where one of the girls refuses to lick the guy's ass (not that I blame her), and more of Anastacia and her partner's sparring match.  There's also some coaching by Zupko of Simone, trying to get her to say some ridiculous lines she doesn't understand.  I don't know.  It was...  there--but I wouldn't watch it expecting to be turned on if I were you.
Trailers: Big Wet Asses, Big Wet Asses 2, Big Wet Asses 3, Big Wet Asses 4, Big Black Asses,  Big Wet Tits.
Photo Gallery

OVERALL:
I can't argue with the fact that Zupko and William H. can get together and shoot some pretty decent porn.  All the scenes in this release have their moments, and are solidly put together from the standpoint of good sex and pretty girls.  It's just that for me, formula porn, particularly when it's regimented to this degree, can get rather boring in a hurry.  Truthfully, with the possible exception of Anastacia's scene (which had some rather odd sex-wrestling action that I wasn't sure how I felt about), every scene here is exactly the same, with the only variable being the girl featured.  The same tease sequence, the same camera movements, the same location, the same oil-smeared, ass exploitation, and even the same positions in what might even be exactly the same order.  It's all a matter of liking the formula, and liking the particular girl who's carrying it out.  My favorite scenes were those with Stacy Silver, Laura Lion, and Simone Peach, but truthfully it was all about the girls.  This is decent, solid anal sex with some very attractive and nicely expressive ladies, but it really did lack that spark of originality and fire--that "something different" that I am always on the look out for.  In short, it's good as gonzo craft, but extremely drab as innovative sexual art.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons