Best by Private 59: Cum Suckers Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  11/29/2004

All the things I loath about Euro porn (Private, specifically) are on display in the Best of Private's "Cum Suckers.” This compilation DVD claims to include 50 girls displayed over more than two hours. That may well be, but I lost track after about 20 scenes.

As usual with the Euros, they do not identify the performers. Which is a shame, because many of the girls are downright beautiful. The least attractive girls would have to be considered “good looking.” I would like to obtain some of the original features based on what I saw here. But, alas, I’ll never figure out who these girls are, nor the original features the scenes were clipped from. Note: a cast list is included in the DVD extras, but it is impossible to follow after the first four scenes.

Euro girls know three things: how to take it up the ass, how to accept an open-mouth facial, and how to clean up afterward. It’s like they are all weaned on cum as babies; they all appear to crave it and love it.

Among the starlets featured here are Silvia Saint, Daniella Rush, Monique Covet, Jodie Moore, Mercedes, Laura Angel, and Elza Brown.

Of course, with the fantastic looking girls and good sex come the standard fake moaning (the guys are worse than the girls) and the constant staring at the camera. There’s lots of slo-mo, group sex (the Euros aren’t happy unless at least four people are in on the action), gaping, outdoor scenes (not one scene takes place on a bed), and fetish outfits.

Not that most of this matters since this is basically a “pop shot” comp. But each scene lasts a couple minutes and shows a little of the other sex that went into the original scene. My guess is most of the original scenes were Pierre Woodman’s handiwork.

The DVD extras include the abysmal Cast List (look under Production Notes), Trailers, Photo Book, and Other Titles.