Bare Necessities Review

Reviewed by Nat Hocken  on  6/18/2003

It just depends on how you watch porn. If you watch it with a vengeance, narrative just gets in the way. If you’re more inclined to sit back and let the movie do some of the work, even the stupidest storylines can make a difference, simply by humanizing the actors. Adam & Eve’s “Bare Necessities” doesn’t have much of a story, and what it does have is typically inane, but the performers seem to like it, and it shows in the sex scenes, most of which are pleasant and energetic.

The movie begins with an almost girl/girl encounter as Keri Windsor, who runs a lingerie shop out of her home, offers advice and opinion to Chenin Blanc. That the scene never really takes a sexual turn was not a move calculated to appeal to girl/girl fans such as myself, but what the hell—I was still trying to figure out how Keri managed to make a buck by selling baby dolls out of her house. The answer, I think, comes when lovers Nikita Cash and Ian Daniels show up. I mean, there’s a definite appeal to a lingerie shop that doubles as a sexual hideaway.

While Nikita and Ian are getting it on among the corsets and camisoles, Keri answers the front door to find the movie’s story standing on the doorstep in the form of Randy Spears, the guy who left her three years ago but who is back asking for a second chance. This is the kind of story that could be an awful downer (seeing as how Keri isn’t sure she wants him back), but fortunately Keri’s depressing abandoned-woman angst isn’t allowed to invade the sex scenes. That’s how it is Keri’s roommate, Sabrine Maui, can parade topless past Randy and wind up upstairs in bed with Kyle Stone wondering what turns American men on.

Probably the best scene in the film, Sabrine and Kyle’s tryst begins with Kyle rimming and tonguing Sabrine’s ass, after which she gives him a good blowjob. After a couple more positions, Kyle cums on Sabrine’s face. Sabrine Maui is a hell of a babe, and director Roy Karch puts the reverse cowgirl position to good use in this scene, giving us a number of enticing shots of her.

Before Randy and Keri inevitably jump in the sack, we get to see Ruby, wearing glasses, taking it slow and easy in the ass in the bathroom from Randy’s buddy Steve Hatcher, and the return of Chenin, in a scene with her real-life husband Cheyne Collins. Neither of these scenes is quite up to the standard set by the first two, but Keri and Randy’s coupling brings the sex back on track and the movie to a satisfying close.

I’m not going to tell you that the sex in this scene or any of the others is searing; honestly, it’s pretty basic stuff. But it works because the performers are into it, they’re having a good time, and a little of their enthusiasm rubs off on us. “Bare Necessities” isn’t a movie you watch at midnight, when your options have run out; it’s a movie you put in when the night is still ahead of you.