Baker's Dozen 2 (Platinum X Pictures) Review

Reviewed by cv  on  1/21/2005

Baker's Dozen is Brandon Iron's line of bukkake-style facial cumshots. In the initial episode, a solid core of hot one-on-one sex is garnished with a river of semen flowing from a cast of mostly faceless guys. What dangerously risks turning into a dreadful Hairy Man Ass exhibition is skillfully dodged by Brandon by his concentration on the starlet.

In this second episode, he has at least two chicks who I recognize as very solid hardcore performers: Taylor Rain and Missy Monroe. Just looking at the box cover back, it looks like he's added some twists to the action. There's also a cast of supporting actresses, and I'm curious to see how he works them into the movie.

Grab a zinc lozenge and let's see how well Brandon delivers!

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Trista Post and 13 guys

We're at the same location where Sophia took on Mandingo in Baker's Dozen 1. Trista has a cute neighborhood chick look, the kind of girl who'd look at a second time at the mall or grocery store. Complimenting her straight honey-brown hair is smooth pale skin (and a thankful lack of tattoos and piercings) is a slutty attitude, tight white ass, and natural tits (maybe B cups). "I like to choke on cock," she claims. And so she does. The blowbang features lots of spit, self-induced gagging, and squishy-sounding throat fucking. She can deep throat guys of average length. During all of this, she continues with dirty talking which seems to turn on the guys. Finally the guys start unloading on her mug, each trying to find a bit of unclaimed facial real estate. After 8-9 loads, Toni shows up. He's disappointed that he's missed most of the action as the guys finish up plastering her face which she wipes with her hands and swallows.

Trista Post and Toni Ribas

Toni can't take it anymore; he grabs her by her hair to position her for a nice reverse cowgirl with cum still dripping down her face. After we return from a brief cut, it appears she's toweled off most of the juice. They go through a wide variety of positions on the couch with some A2M and throat gagging. He finally blows his load, mostly around her mouth in a nice finish for this nasty little newcummer.

Taylor Rain and Julian

In case you've been living under a rock, Taylor Rain is the reigning triple-X waif champion on the planet. She might be a bit too thin for some people, but she does sport a nasty attitude and fucks like an animal. Like Trista, Taylor is remarkably free of the tattoos and piercings that have blighted the female talent pool. She and Brandon (behind his camera) chat a bit about donuts until Julian shows up and quickly she works up an appetite for thick cock. She first starts sucking, then takes his thick tool in a number of positions. At one point, she's on the bed facing down, her body propped up with a couple of pillows for better penetration, her legs together as Julian plunges his dick into her twat. Goddamn, that's one of my favorite positions in real life since the girl's pussy is so tight (great position to finish with). He switches to her anus and I'm ready to pass out; fuck, her ass looks awesome. A couple more positions changes follow and she jerks him off to a messy finish which she wipes up with a donut. I love Taylor!

Taylor Rain and 12 guys

Outside, there's a huge crowd of guys waiting. Taylor picks a dozen of them; they line up and watch her as she fingers her ass. She goes down the line giving really quick blowjobs. The action and visuals improve once they switch to a circular blowbang. Taylor's a giggly girl, and at one point she laughs, "It's raining on Taylor Rain" as the cum starts plastering her face. The guys totally missed her chin but everywhere else on her face is covered in jizz. After one straggler, Taylor Kross and Alex Divine start lapping up the gooey glaze on Taylor's mug.

Taylor Kross, Alex Divine and another mess of guys

Alex and Taylor find themselves at the center of a blowbang, each babe handling 5-6 guys. I prefer Alex's fresher, more innocent looks to Taylor's sultry presence, but they both know what they're doing. Alex is able to deep-throat cocks of average length. A wide-angle shot gives the context for this scene and a dose of Hairy Man Ass that's more than enough for this entire film. With their faces next to each other, they start enjoying their semen shower. Alex receives more loads and they finally struggle a bit to lick/slurp each other's face; it's sort of tough when your eyes are plastered shut I guess.

Missy Monroe and Manuel Ferrara

Brandon and Manuel are out in the middle of the desert, searching for some chick's house. They arrive, only to find an ominous "Trespassers Will Be Eaten" sign. Oh, look, it's Missy Monroe; maybe getting eaten alive isn't so bad. Manuel starts fondling the hot, nasty talking blonde. Missy is plushly upholstered, but those curves look natural to me; she sports a couple of tattoos, but nothing like the river of body ink (and multiple piercings) that today's average porn starlet has. Soon they are fucking right there on the doorstep. Manuel finally grabs her by the hair and drags her indoors to what I'm now going to refer to as the "Baker's Dozen couch". This begins a whole series of quick fucking/sucking positions that are just too short and/or broken up for me to feel any consistent heat. After way too many position changes, they finally settle down into a groove.

Missy Monroe, Julie Night, Kami Andrews and a bunch of guys

A battalion of guys magically show up (hey, maybe the Baker's Dozen compound is on the tour bus route). It's too much for Missy to handle, so she calls for help -- help that materializes in the form of brunette Julie Night and redhead Kami Andrews. From this point on, it's just a three-girl blowbang as the guys rotate through. The action is better when there are circular blowbang clusters but for a while they move to a receiving-line style. Missy accurately notes, "There's more than a baker's dozen here." The guys don't really care as they start to blow their loads on Missy's mug. After a dozen shots, her face is plastered, but the loads keep coming. I'm losing interest, mostly because additional shots at this point aren't readily visible; they just blend into the existing goop. Julie and Kami end up being the cleanup crew for Missy's face and chest; they were just fluffers in this movie.

Missy Monroe and six guys

As a quick epilogue, we find Missy (mostly cleaned up) indoors with half a dozen guys. "I think I'll take a half dozen to go right on my face." The blonde fuck doll does and it's a nice way to cap off this edition of the Baker's Dozen.

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Production Values

Brandon Iron is a skilled shooter; a big risk of the Baker's Dozen and A Good Source of Iron (his cum-swallowing series) lines is the potential for sicking amounts of HMA (Hairy Man Ass). Luckily, Brandon keeps the camera and focus on the girls.

The video is well shot and the audio is well balanced. The slight deficiencies of DVD replication during the era of the original Baker's Dozen episode are not visible here.

DVD Extras

Behind The Scenes (9:40) - The BHS footage gives us a little insight into the starlets as people; they're more relaxed and just being themselves in most cases. There's a lot of pre-scene interviewing. There aren't too many post-event followups; I can imagine that once the scene's over, all the girls want are some paper towels, baby wipes, long, hot showers and a nap. Brandon does a great job with the BTS footage, and it's always my favorite DVD extra on his discs.

Bonus Sex (14:45) - The DVD feature is designed to fit on a 140 minute VHS videotape; this is the footage that landed on the cutting room floor. The action is fine, but there's no continuity or resolution to these little snippets. It's basically good footage that was omitted to trim down the running time to fit the restrictions of VHS videotape.

More Tease Please (5:50) - This quick segment features Missy Monroe gyrating around; she finally ends up with a silicone dildo up her ass. There's a bit of A2M dildo play here.

Photo Shoot (9:43) - This is the behind the scenes action of the still photo shoots that typically proceed each scene; these shots are used for box cover art, promotional & website shots, etc. (who knows, maybe pay-per-view galleries?). A bit of the girls' personalities can be gleaned; Taylor Rain's giggly giddiness works well and a lot of this footage is focused on her.

Photo Gallery (6:12) - This is an auto-running slide show of photographic stills. It's nicely done, and all of the viewer's controls are the normal DVD actions (play, pause, fast forward, review, etc.).

The obligatory Website page, a short Director's Bio page, and four Trailers round out the DVD extras.

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Conclusion

This is a darned good movie, better than most gonzo porn on the market. Still, I feel that that Baker's Dozen 2 was a step down from the original. The movie seems to drift away slightly from its focus with the distraction of a cum-licking cleanup crew. In the second segment, Taylor Rain has to share the limelight with Taylor Kross and Alex Divine (two excellent babes in their own right); the continued blowbang action with TK and AD (and ultimately the cumshots) further dilutes Taylor's performance. The third segment should have been much better; too many quick positions, too many dicks, the shared spotlight of Missy with Kami and Julie (again, two great girls).

I would rather see hot one-on-one sex ending in a cumshot (so the action doesn't come to an unnatural screeching halt), followed by a blowbang and finishing with the loads of about a dozen guys. Any more than that, and the cumshots are lost in the facial glazing. If there's any cum-eating, I'd rather see the starlet scoop up what's on her face, rather than get others involved (that's just a bit too contrived).

The scenes that work best for me are the ones where there's great one-on-one sex, a cumshot, and then the situation where the girl is so horny (she hasn't gotten enough cock/cum) she needs more. As far as I'm concerned, each scene should be focused on one (and only one) girl; when the guys have covered her face (about a dozen loads), the scene is pretty much over. Diversions are distractions in this series, and only detract, not enhance.

I'm giving this movie solid scores with the hope that Brandon resumes a more straight and focused course in future episodes of what is turning out to be one of my favorite series.

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