Ass Stickers Review

Director

Alex Sanders

Cast

Roxy Jezel, Jayna Oso, Jazlyn, Lyla Lei, Mika Tan, Alex Sanders, Alec Knight, Chris Charming, Devlin Weed, Julian St. Jox, Sledge Hammer.

Genre

All Sex

Condoms

None

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those who like Asian girls ass-fucked hard and fast, regardless of how well it's lit, captured, or cared about.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those who in any way care about sexual motivation, or half-way decent production values.

REVIEW:
I have to admit to y'all that I'm sitting here, wondering what possessed me to pick up this DVD.  It's from Mayhem, not a company that I've been particularly impressed with in the past.  It's all Asian women, which, while certainly not something that I have any problem with, is not a particular fetish of mine either.  It's all anal, which can be a plus in my book, but it's not a theme that, of itself, draws me to a title.  The only thing I can think of that inspired me to grab this one is the presence of a two cast members the I especially love--Roxy Jezel and Jayna Oso. That's all I've got.  Clearly, I'm not above picking a movie out on the merits of a single performer, but I have to say I don't have high hopes for this one.  Here's hoping that I'm wrong.

Jayne Oso, Julian St. Jox

Jayna, I know from past videos, is quite the fuckable little hottie.  She's not only quite pretty, with a killer body, she's also a good performer.  Alas, I've seen her look better than this.  Nevertheless, this scene starts out nicely, with some drool-happy throat fucking and a dominant feel that Jayna seems willing to play along with.  Soon enough, her gorgeous pussy and ass get their fair share of attention.  In fact, if the camera work and lighting weren't so outright shoddy, this would be a smokin' scene, at least for the first twenty minutes.  Alex Sanders then interrupts the two of them and insists on stuffing a huge black dildo up Jayna's ass.  This will please the extreme penetration fans, but to me it's a complete waste of time and talent.  Things get worse for yours truly, when Julian finally cums in Jayna's ass and she farts it out into her hand and licks it up.  ::groan::  I can hear the circus music now.  Jayna is a gorgeous, generous performer, and for the most part, this would have been a fantastic scene.  Unfortunately, almost all that was good about it was nearly negated by horrible camera work and the excessive A2M and unmotivated party stunts that topped off the scene.  Jayna is definitely a girl worth checking out, but, unless you really find no worth to the term "production value" I would highly recommend finding another movie in which to see her.

Jazlyn, Devlin Weed

Jazlyn is fairly attractive, wearing a sexy red corset and pretty black, tight-weave fishnets.  Devlin wastes no time guiding her back on the bed and eating her out, which she enjoys a little too much to be believable--but hey, I've been known to be mistaken.  After that, Jazlyn gets on all fours and does some no-hands cock-sucking, that I have to admit, looks pretty darn nummers.  Unfortunately that doesn't last too long, but Devlin has a gentle way about him, and manages to maintain some semblance of actual chemistry between himself and Jazlyn throughout the scene, even when the anal sex finally gets unnecessarily fast and furious.  The action is so ineptly captured, however, that I can't help but wonder what genius at Mayhem decided that giving Alex Sanders a camera was a good idea.  Ignoring the frightful lighting, shaky-cam maneuvering, and bad angles for a moment, there are a few points where it even drifted out of focus.  To be perfectly honest, the performances weren't nearly good enough to overcome the amateur recording of the event. I don't know what to tell ya--a pretty girl, a capable stud, both ill-used, ill-directed, and most of all, ill-captured.  It's almost enough to make the one watching it a little ill-tempered.

Lyla Lei, Sledge Hammer, Chris Charming

I've seen Lyla before, and she's capable of taking some pretty intense treatment with a smile on her face.  Unfortunately, she doesn't look her best here.  As far as the scene goes, there's a half-assed tease sequence with bad lighting and some lame video effects, and then it's straight to the fucking with no dilly-dally.  It doesn't take more than 5 minutes into the action before Lyla is duly double penetrated, caterwauling away, without any sense of sexual build-up.  The lighting is terrible.  Lyla has an unflattering "show-up-and-fuck" look about her, and the camera work is horrid.  From what I was able to discern, there's lots of hard and fast DP, including the reappearance of Alex's black dildo when he stuffs it into Lyla's butt.  I mean, I hate to see the poor girl trying so hard for no real payoff, but I'm sitting here with my elbow on the desk, and my head buried in my hands, praying for this scene to end ASAP.  Dual facial.  Cum oozing.  Pan down.  Fade out.

Thank God.

Mika Tan, Alec Knight

Mika looks OK, but not especially wonderful, and certainly doesn't come anywhere near her potential.  The tease sequence isn't quite as bad as Lyla's, and it features her masturbating, albeit in a far too camera-centric way.  Speaking of cameras, Alex doesn't seem to know what to do with his.  It's all very jerky and awkward, and although he seems to encourage the performers to go along their merry way, he doesn't quite yet know how to adapt to what they're doing.  Just as frustrating, once again, is the lighting, which is dark, shadowy in all the wrong places, and just indicative of someone who has no clue what they're doing.  The anal sex isn't long in coming, and there are lots of obligatory position changes by way of awkward cuts, which further disrupts any kind of flow the scene might have had.  At thirty interminable minutes long, this scene is a textbook example of what I would understatedly call "boring porn".

Roxy Jezel, Alex Sanders

Ah, my beloved Roxy Jezel.  Roxy is a British brunette with a tight, tiny little body.  I first saw her in Service Animals #16 and fell in love with her.  This scene actually has a bit of a set up to it, where Roxy plays a maid who is "punished" with a thorough ass fuck by her employer, Alex Sanders.  Right off the bat, Roxy gets what looks to be the end of one of those long plastic cat toys with feathers on one end stuck into her butt.  She then receives a very verbal throat fuck, and I have to admit, she does look rather yummy here.  In short order, Alex sticks his dick up her gorgeous ass and thus the maid is taught her lesson.  Until the last few minutes, it's pretty much all anal, all the time for Roxy.  She looks fuckin' great, but it's hard to tell that when your trying to focus your attention through such horribly shoddy production.  The lighting and camera work is, unfortunately, on par with the rest of the disc, and another perfectly wonderful performer is once again obscured by incompetently executed technical elements.

TO SUM UP:
If you're one of those who wonders why many ADT reviewers tend to give higher than average scores to most of the discs they review, let me tell you this:  there's not much greater torture than having to sit down and write a detailed review of a porn movie you absolutely hate.  I understand that we sometimes have to take one for the team.  Letting people know what not to purchase is as important, if not more so, than telling them about the "must-buys".  Granted, I've certainly seen worse, but for my tastes, I got burned, but good, on this one.  As I expected, Jayna and Roxy delivered the only two vaguely watchable scenes on the disc, and that was only because they were so engaging (either through pure looks, or genuine performance, or both) that they managed to shine through the production elements that tried so hard to belittle them.  Don't get me wrong.  There's plenty of anal sex here.  In some cases it's hard and fast, and there are also moments of erotic pain that many will love and many others will hate.  If you don't care what it looks like, the anal-hound acts are all well represented here.  I just think it's a shame.  These girls are so generous as to give up their beautiful asses on camera for our benefit, the least Mayhem and Alex Sanders could do is care enough about what their producing to make them look good.  Alas, it was not to be.  Such is the curse of so much modern pornography.

EXTRAS:
Included on the disc are a few trailers, a clip of all the pop shots in sequence, a photo gallery, some biographies, a cheesy behind the scenes segment and a few fun interviews.