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It's uncomfortable to admit that during the opening minutes of
An American Buttman in London I experienced an uneasy sense of identification
with John Stagliano's Buttman character as he jerks off over his
stash of Escort and Razzle magazines. Out of modesty and a desire
to avoid offending sensitive readers, I shall spare you the details
- unfortunately John does not, and shows us exactly what a man looks
like when he's beating his meat over a pile of porn. It ain't a
pretty sight, girls.
Still, awkward moments aside, this is a welcome re-issue of a vintage
(1991) Buttman release, welcome in its own right and to also renew
my acquaintance with some popular British models from the turn of
the nineties. The thing is, however, that I wonder if American Buttman
is really more than just an excuse for porn fans of a certain age
to get all misty-eyed about classic Joanie Allum Men Only sets of
Misty (or Anne-Marie as she was also known) ever-so-enticingly tangled
up in her underwear.
The basis of this cheap and cheerful adventure - shot in the days
when camcorders offered considerably less quality than today, and
indeed when John Stagliano's style was very much in its formative
stages - is that butt obsessive John is so besotted with the fabulous
derrieres of the British models in his magazine collection, that
he jumps on the next plane to London, planning to hook up with his
buddy Dario (Rocco Siffredi).
Before the friends meet, John happens on a sexy girl in the streets
of London. This is Misty, a pretty girl with tousled dirty blonde
hair and great legs. She's mostly known for her fabulously shaped
broad backside. Guess what catches John's attention. The long and
short of it is that she's a hairdresser who works at a salon that
just so happens to be run by leggy blonde glamour star Linzi Drew,
the long time star of Club International and Ben Dover's real-life
partner in crime (all too literally). Much tease ensues with the
women, their long legs in sheer black nylons and various ample body
parts popping out from too-tight clothing as they turn on John and
the chap who is supposedly there for a haircut (a good looking dude
named Simon Santana).
Linzi leaves Misty and Simon to get it on for John's camera. The
sex is energetic and worthy of attention in its own right, no more
so than when Misty lasciviously laps up the chap's tool without
missing a beat, but John's focus is understandably on Misty's sensational
curves - her boobs are also wonderful - and our butt-loving hero
crams in shot after shot to this effect, as if the point needed
reinforcing. What actually intrigues me most is that her personality
comes across so differently from the image I recall in those ridiculously
po-faced magazine shoots - she's really a lot of fun. Seriously.
Out in Soho, London's underwhelming sex central, in the company
of Rocco… I mean "Dario"? We can only expect that naughtiness is
just around the corner. In this case, the guys spend a little too
long to be really interesting pursuing two more curvy English lasses.
Carla (credited as Sara-Jane, better known as Michelle Walker) is
a tall, busty brunette while Sarah Walker is a petite, boyish blonde.
After much to and fro through the streets, Rocco and John eventually
end up in a flat with the girls, who find much to giggle about in
the contents of Rocco's pants, much to his frustration as he's clearly
ready to go after the lengthy pursuit. Sarah comes across as cute
and giggly, Carla is a more assertive character, who provides my
favourite moment of the scene when she rips open her tights to reveal
her big pale bum. Mmm.
The girls prove to be quite a handful for Rocco as they all pile
together on the bed. Carla's quite into rimming or so it seems,
in this and a later scene, but those expecting a proliferation of
anal action will be disappointed. Nothing more than a fingertip
or a tongue goes into an anus. I doubt there's little relevance
in that the fact that anal sex between heterosexuals was actually
illegal in Britain at this stage (prior to the Criminal Justice
Act 1995 (?), which prompts a scary thought, presuming politicians
always act primarily out of self-interest, concerning John Major
and Edwina Currie…the stuff of nightmares)
Back on track, this is a good, fun, saucy tangle where Rocco gets
little chance to really be ultra-nasty. Of the two girls, I appreciate
seeing little Sara gamely struggle to get Rocco's knob into her
mouth but while I understand John's desire to fill his lens with
Carla's bouncing boobs and bum, I find her a little irritating.
The irrepressible Buttman then goes looking for a haircut at Linzi's
salon, which naturally must involve lots of cheeky, smutty tease
action with the inimitable Ms Drew bending over in a tight dress
as often as possible. It's a real shame Linzi doesn't get into hardcore
action but nonetheless this is most enjoyable. I'm not sure how
to put this delicately, but let's just say that while Linzi isn't
in the first flush of youth, she's in great nick (at the time this
was shot - a frightening 13 years ago!) and certainly knows how
to entertain a gentleman. Just a tease, but a pleasure all the same.
The next scene turns out to be a real disappointment. John tries
to chat up Louise Drysden on the Embankment opposite the palace
of Westminster. While this buxom lass is rather plain and simply
doesn't appeal, it all becomes even less attractive when a smarmy
English guy, Bob Harrison, jumps in to show John exactly how to
chat a girl up. Though the movie dates from 1991, there's a real
eighties hangover about this couple. The three head back to a flat
where the flimsy premise is that the guys are supposed to be showing
her how to work out. You can predict what kind of workout she's
really going to get as readily as you can predict my next cliché.
They get naked, they have sex, I yawn and shout "Next!"
Back in the direction of the hair salon, John happens on a sexy
brunette, Carrie Jones (AKA Kerry Matthews). She's heading for a
hairdressing appointment with Misty, who seems to do little in the
way of actually cutting hair and a lot in the way of sexually entertaining
her clients. Once more we see lots of good shots of ample curves
emerging in provocative manner from under tight clothes before Kerry
and Misty enjoy a pleasing girl-girl affair which is obviously as
much about providing John with numerous opportunities to capture
awesome butt shots of Misty's spectacular ass - Kerry also has a
fine posterior and both girls are perfectly happy to indulge in
pussy eating and toy play, though as usual just how "gay" they really
are is entirely a matter for debate.
For the finale, John and Dario are loitering outside Buckingham
Palace when they just happen to bump into Carla again (she's in
a fetching clinging catsuit sort of number), this time with Barbie
doll blonde Louise Armani (better known as Louise Hodges) in tow.
Lovely Louise was a regular in the British men's mags of the time,
and I was slightly disappointed to read an interview a year or two
ago where she seemed to regret her foray into hardcore, which might
be a cue for a discussion about the many double standards operating
in the British glamour and porn biz, if only I had time or inclination.
Besides, I won't try your patience if you wish to know what happens
sexually. Rocco clearly has no patience as he tries to get Carla
to jerk him off in the taxi. Back at the hotel, champagne is sipped,
and Carla licks ice cream off Rocco's cock. Once more, this is a
sign of the fun, playful nature of the sex, which is energetic without
the "nasty" streak we've come to almost expect today. John actually
sneaks a BJ too, and a little lick here and there - who could blame
him with two lovely bottoms like these on show? Carla seems to get
more into it this time around, while Louise seems a little more
tentative - but what the hell, it's great to just see her doing
it. She really has nothing to be ashamed of. It's a simple pleasure.
In
the end…
While by and large I enjoyed An American Buttman in London, I couldn't
help but feel a faint sense of disappointment. It's been a long
time, I suppose, and maybe I'd idealised the notion of seeing some
of these old favourites in action once more. American Buttman is
an entertaining if somewhat erratic piece that is undeniably successful
in capturing a saucy slice of life in the London sex scene at a
certain time. That sense of time and place is always something I
love to find in any movie, and that's something to appreciate here.
I'm not so sure that it really stands up so well sexually - John's
eye for a super tease scene really provides the strong points. I
also enjoyed the carefree sense of sexy fun - Rocco, John and some
well-matched girls are almost like overgrown kids playing kiss chase,
getting away with it on a mixture of cheek and charm. Younger viewers
accustomed to a parade of unfeasibly fresh-faced young beauties
being unfeasibly nasty may also find it hard to wonder why old duffers
like me might reminisce so fondly about these women, who don't even
take it in the can, for Chrissakes! Ah, there's no accounting for
taste…
DVD Comments
Disappointing also to find no commentary, no extra footage - just
the bare bones of photos, cast list etc. Don't get me wrong; it's
all done with the competence we expect from Evil Angel. Perhaps
I'm judging this to be more of a landmark release than they do.
In terms of picture quality, let's just say American Buttman is
showing its age. Perfectly watchable of course, but clearly not
of the high standards we're now taking for granted.
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