American Booty 2 (Hollywood) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  7/4/2003

Feeling very patriotic on the Fourth of July, I decided to watch something with “American” in the title. I had probably watched it before but didn’t remember it. Now I know why. It is almost totally forgettable. The film consists of interviewing the participants before each scene asking them what their ethnic background is. Who gives a fuck? An American is an American, isn’t he? I suppose they are trying for the old America is a “melting pot” but I found it a stupid question; so did most of those being interviewed. “I’m just a mutt”, one wisely said.

First up are Ansley and Aaron, a southerner and a Jewish-Italian-American. Ansley, a pleasant blond, is the best-looking person to appear in the film. That’s not as complimentary as it sounds as he has little competition. Aaron is thin with a bit of hair in the middle of his chest. He has a big thick dick, but the Mohel appears to have botched the circumcision somewhat. These guys establish the pattern for the entire film. After being interviewed it’s kiss, suck one another’s dicks, fuck, jack off. In this case it’s Ansley who gives up his butt.

Matt Hunter & Troy are next. Matt is dark-haired and overly plump. He’s from Czechoslovakia, and has no intention of becoming an American he says. He’s just here to take work away from one of the natives. Not handsome and unable to compete with the beauties that appear in Czech porn, I suppose he though he stood a better chance here. (He doesn’t!) He also has a tiny dick. Troy has a short goatee and is kinda creepy but seems to have a pleasant enough personality. He fucks Matt and shoots a pretty damn good load in the jack off section. Matt only dribbles out a few drops. (Hand me the microscope, please.)

Another Matt is up next. This one uses the name Matthew Idle. He’s a French-Canadian. He has a pierced eyebrow, nipple, and navel. He is also the proud possessor of a big uncut cock. His partner is Thomas Bond. (Gee, an American!) Although Thomas has a nice slender build with light chest hair, I’ve always found him to be a rather bland laid-back performer. Never gets rise out of me. From the interview he seems like a smart, very sweet guy. If only he could reflect these qualities in his performances. He has moved up from C grade porn like this to A grade with Titan and other major studios. So he must have appeal. He gives a disinterested fuck to Matthew. I was hoping to see Matthew's big one put to use in Thomas. Matthew keeps it hard when he’s sucking Thomas and when he’s getting fucked. He cums as Thomas is still drilling into him.

It’s more foreign dudes now. Rick Fernandi, a skinny bi-sexual Spaniard, and Dillon (I swear the interviewer keeps calling him Danny). Dillon is a brown-skinned creature from somewhere. When he’s asked the old ethnic question he answers, “murguwump”. He’s asked to repeat it. “Murguwump”. I think he’s from some South American country. Brazil, probably. But as I hope never to see him in anything again, I don’t care. Danny/Dillon’s brown bod and lightly-haired chest contrasts with Rick's milk-white bod that appears to have never been exposed to the sun. Rick has enough foreskin for three dicks. Even when hard, it’s still covered by a couple of inches of wrinkled skin.

Ethan Richards, a cute twink who survived this to go and do some fun films, is paired with Tiger. There are a lot of dudes called Tiger in gay porn. This one is generally listed as "Tiger(Stripped)" This appears to be their debut. Tiger has an incredible tattoo of tiger stripes that begin at his side, increase in size over the butt and then taper away on the thigh and legs. (The pain that kid must have endured.) He also has piercing in his ears; huge rings the size of doorknockers in each nipple; and a big Prince Albert in the head of his dick. (The pain that kid must have endured.) Ethan likes to take the PA in his teeth and pull on it when he’s blowing Tiger. He does it a lot. Tiger likes it when he does. (That kid is into pain.) Ethan screws the cat. Jack off, spurt; jack off, spurt. The end.

Never once did I get hard watching this variation of “First Time Tryers”. That’s why I didn’t remember my earlier viewing. That’s why I won’t remember it again. To think I wasted this much time twice! Shit! A Fourth of July and no fireworks.