5 People You Meet In Porn Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  2/7/2006

The Little Details

Running Time: 86 min.

Production Date: 9 / 10 / 2005

Director: Jerome Tanner

Cast: Angela Stone, Brooke Haven, Harmony Rose, Jamie Huxley, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Jack Venice, Manuel Ferrara, and Scott Nails

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I’ve heard some pretty good things about this one, and it’s been quite a while since I checked out anything from Jerome Tanner. I’m going into this one with a bit of hope.

Initial Reaction: It’s hot, and easily one of the best porno comedies of 2005.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody who wants a good laugh between stroke scenes

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who uses a remote between sex scenes

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are pretty well done. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I don’t think I noticed a single background noise. The video is also pretty well done. It’s clear and free of any jerky camera motion, but a little soft. There’s also a few shadows that pop up now and then.

Music: The music comes and goes throughout the movie. It has a pretty typical porn feel, but works better than normal by having a nice balance with the rest of the audio.

Menus: The main menu does a decent job moving from a few clips of the movie to the boxcover with a little animation. The chapter menu is nicely done, and lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and the name of the girl in the scene. There’s also the Select a Star option that lets you choose a scene based on a small still of each girl and then gives you a submenu to choose where you‘d like to go in the scene sexually.

The Feature

After avoiding hard work and a real job her entire life, Harmony and her boyfriend move from Skankton, West Virginia out to Porn Valley. She knows she can make lots of money as a porn star and spring into mainstream films after finding the right cock to suck. As she gets in the industry, she meets The Agent, The Director, The Boyfriend / Manager, and more.

Scene 1 - Jamie Huxley and Scott Nails

Cute brunette Jamie starts things out sucking nearly-bald Scott’s cock all the way into his throat in his West Virginia trailer. She gives him some nice eyes and a little stroking as she works him into her mouth and throat before letting him strip off her panties, admire her ass, and then lay her back so he can lick and finger her pussy. Scott picks her up and moves her to the bathroom sink to fuck her missionary style before they head to the couch / bed for her to bounce on his cock in both cowgirls. Scott even picks her up to fuck her in midair before they lie back on the couch / bed for some spooning. Finally, Scott hops around and pops all over Jamie’s pussy.

This is a pretty darn good opening scene. The location is hilarious, and Jamie and Scott put some nice energy into the scene. Jamie also shows in some nice vocals and energy, and I like how the scene moved around the room / house. My only complaint here is that the camera seemed to focus just a little much on the penetration. This is a good way to start out the sex in the movie.

Scene 2 - Tiffany Taylor and Jack Lawrence; Harmony Rose

When Harmony isn’t able to suck agent Jack’s cock right, he has brunette Tiffany come over and show her how it’s done while Harmony lies back in a chair and diddles herself. While she mouths his manhood, Jack slides Tiffany’s black bra off to show a nice set of natural titties and slides his hand into her black panties to play with her a little. Jack licks and fingers Tiffany’s pussy in reciprocation before fucking it missionary style. They roll around so she can ride him reverse cowgirl style before Jack flips her on her side for some spooning. They finish things up with a little more missionary work before Jack pops on Tiffany’s pussy.

This is an above average scene. Jack delivers some decent energy and a nice pop, but although Tiffany looks great she seems to be in overdrive throughout the scene. She never seems to vary her moans or how she fucks, and although I started the scene pretty into it by the time it was done it seemed overly long. Tiffany looks great, but her unconvincing fuck here held the scene back to only making it a little past the average level.

Scene 3 - Harmony Rose and Evan Stone

When Harmony does a reading for director Evan Stone, she doesn’t expect him to get into trying her for the scene quite as much. He has her strip down and eats her from behind while she reads some lines about economics. He has her slide onto his cock reverse cowgirl style, and when it’s time for his line does a quick rewrite of the script so she can suck his cock. After Harmony gags on his cock a little, Evan rewards her with a little more tongue and finger work on her twat. He moves up to fuck Harmony’s honey hole missionary style before picking her up, walking over to his desk and swiping it clean, and then lying back on it for Harmony to ride him cowgirl style. She lets Evan take her from behind as she leans over the desk before taking a nice facial finish.

This is a hot scene. Harmony looks absolutely fantastic, and really seems to get into the scene well. I love how she pulls Evan into her and urges him to give her more while they fuck, as well as how she takes him into her throat after he gives her a great facial. Although Evan seems just a little stiff, Harmony gets into it more than enough to make up for it. This is a winner of a scene, and the best in the movie.

Scene 4 - Angela Stone and Jack Venice; Harmony Rose

When Jack has a problem with Harmony taking on other guys for her job, they have a heartfelt conversation about it with Angela between them on her knees sucking his cock. He thinks he can get into the industry so she can at least fuck one guy in front of the camera, and tells Harmony to watch what he can do. Angela eagerly gobbles his knob while he strips all the way down, and Harmony sits back on the couch to watch and take care of herself. Jack has Angela lie back so he can eat her next, and Harmony even reaches a hand over to help warm her up. After Angela lets go with a nice squirt she climbs up to ride him reverse cowgirl style. She lets go with another impressive squirt after bouncing on Jack’s joystick a while, and turns around to let him take her from behind next. Harmony sucks Angela’s juices off Jack’s cock before Angela rides it cowgirl style, and after Jack lets Angela have a bit of pile driving backs off so Angela can let go with yet another squirt. Finally, Angela gets down to take a fairly small and watery pop in and around her mouth.

This is a pretty hot scene. As usual, Angela looks good and turns out one heck of a wet performance. I really like how Harmony was a part of the scene while not really being a part of the scene, and her getting in for a few sucks nicely broke this scene apart from the earlier scene between Tiffany and Jack. This is yet another scene that starts off with some nice humor and finishes up with some nice sex.

Scene 5 - Brooke Haven, Harmony Rose, and Manuel Ferrara

When her dealer Manuel turns her down and won’t give her an advance despite her having a triple anal booked for Sunday, she watches as he cuts a deal with Brooke for her AVN lifetime Achievement Award and a bit of ass. She quickly move in to help Brooke suck cock, and can’t resist sucking her titties either. Harmony disappears and Brooke and Manuel move to a bed for Manuel to lick and finger Brooke’s beaver before he spoons her. Brooke climbs on top and lets Manuel finger her ass while she rides him cowgirl style before turning around and letting him slide his cock into her ass. Finally, Brooke gets down and does her best baby bird impression as Manuel sprays his seed over her face, including swallowing it down.

This is a pretty good final scene. I love how Harmony throws herself into the cocksucking at the start, but I hate how she just disappeared from the scene once the cocksucking was done. Brooke and Manuel do a nice job of keeping the scene going by themselves, and Brooke does a great job of taking it in the ass through the scene. At the same time, Manuel seems a little more laid back than normal, which was also a bit of a disappointment. This is a good scene that seemed like it could have been better.

Five People You Meet In Porn is a very amusing porno. Harmony does a very nice job in the lead, and makes much of the movie work by playing some very amusing lines straight. I almost fell out of my chair laughing as she was talking about getting into porn early in the movie, and looked forward to every non-sex scene to come in the movie because each and every one of them had the same sense of humor. Yes, there’s a lot of parodies of the entertainment industry that only seem to be funny if you’re more than a little into the industry, but this one does it with common enough stuff that I can see almost every porn fan getting a charge out of it. Sexually, the movie doesn’t quite hold the line. No, it isn’t because the sex suffers from feature-itis. Instead it’s for not quite letting things live up to the potential they show at first and for not following through right. As the lead girl, Harmony does a great job in her scene with Evan Stone, but it’s also her only full scene. She’s also in three other scenes, but she limits herself to a half of a blowjob in each one while maybe sticking around to diddle herself in the rest of the scenes. I have no problem with somebody as gorgeous as Harmony sticking around to watch the action and diddle herself, but having it happen in three scenes (and with two of them being about the same way) was just a little much, and actually brought down all three of the scenes because of it. I hate to seem too down on Harmony here because, although I was disappointed with three of the scenes she appeared in, the fourth (where she took on Evan Stone solo) was the best in the movie. If you’re looking for a good laugh to go with your porn, make sure you check out Five People You Meet In Porn.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Kane’s World, Centerfolds 4, Cumswallowers, Barely Legal Bootcamp, One in Every Hole, and Black & Wild 15. The photo gallery lasts about four minutes with about six seconds per good looking snapshot or full screen photo. There’s also a behind the scenes featurette and plenty of commercials.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts fifteen minutes, and mixes interviews with the stars with shots of Jerome Tanner working with the cast and crew. Brooke starts things out talking about being a little tired and getting her start in porn before Harmony talks about her start and how anal is gay and does nothing for her. She also talks about liking two dicks in her pussy after getting it on with Evan. Angela talks about her start, squirting, toys, and the funniest thing that’s happened to her on the set. Angela and Harmony also talk about the freakiest things that have happened to them on the set before Jamie talks about getting into porn, sex, and what she likes to do in her free time. Tiffany talks about her favorites before Brooke talks about an anal mishap and Angela gets confused about people not loving sex. It’s a very nice behind the scenes featurette that gives a nice look at the stars as well as a good look at the movie being made. It concentrates on letting the viewer get to know the stars rather than watching somebody hold a camera, and brings it all across with a very friendly feel. This is a very nice behind the scenes featurette.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, voyeurism, masturbation, squirting, group, and anal

Raincoat Factor: Medium high

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Hustler’s DVDs can be found online for between about $16 and $25 with stores offering it everywhere in between. Although the sex isn’t overly hot, the movie’s amusing enough as a whole that the lower end would be tempting here. The technical aspects and extras also help this out by showing some good care. This is a nicely put together DVD.

Note to Hustler: With the sense of humor you put into this one, I hope you keep putting out porno comedies. There’s always room for movies as funny as this in porn!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight