XXX Starlets Review

Reviewed by Sean Renaud  on  7/25/2014

Heading in: Heading in XXX Starlets looks like a perfect porn. The starlets list reads like a who’s who of porn with Brooke Banner, Jayden James, Britney Amber, Charley Chase, London Keyes and Sophee Dee. I don’t think London Keyes and Sophee Dee could have a bad scene if they tried. The only downside here is that I’ve never heard of Aura Productions so I don’t have the first clue what to expect of them.

Scene 1: Brooke Banner
Do you love yourself some standard edition big tit blond pornstars? I sure as fuck do. Do you hate wasting time with boring skits that don’t have the first thing to do with anything and just make you want to skip to the actual fucking? I’m in that club too. Which makes Brooke Banner’s scene a wonderful place to start, she’s already nude and rubbing one out when the scene starts and it takes less than a minute to put cock to cunt. She’s also the kind of pornstar that you would build in a factory. Brooke performs well and gives us everything you’d expect from a XXX Starlet, well except a facial. Her stunt cock ends up dumping his load on her perfect ass.

Overall it’s a well shot scene. It’s outdoors which is a nice change of pace when the cameraman doesn’t fuck it up and he doesn’t. The complete lack of a tease or set up is a little off putting, usually we get to at least watch the girl undress and I vastly prefer no set up at all to a bad one and pornstars generally can’t act for shit and despite most of them being strippers they seem to struggle dancing for a camera.

Scene 2: Sophee Dee & Jayden James

Sophee Dee is one of my favorite pornstars of all time, she’s just got a personality that shines through and it always looks like she’s having so much fun. Even if I personally prefer her as a redhead than a blonde I admit to being smitten by her and Jayden’s a gem too. This is another straight to the fucking scene, like it genuinely feels like the beginning of the scene was cut off. Porn scenes almost by law start with a blow job so it’s just odd, and in a good way, unless your favorite part of a porn is watching a girl sucking cock then well they eventually get around to it. Sophee and Jayden do a better job than most at tag teaming a cock and staying active the whole time. My only complaint is the cum shot on Jayden’s feet to end the scene.

Overall I kind of associate Sophee with anal sex, I didn’t even know she could shoot a vanilla scene like this but she’s still every bit as fun and bubbly as she always is and Jayden James is a good addition to the scene. The fact that they spend more time at the end of the scene talking than the beginning setting things up is bad. I mean as much as I hate long drawn out set ups a drawn out outro is just insanity.

Scene 3: Natasha Nice

Wow, I don’t think I’d ever seen Natasha Nice before this scene and I’m sold from first site. Normally I would recommend saving Christmas Porn for Christmas but Natasha dressed up as an elf with a green dress, red stockings and jingle bells, well it’s Christmas in July, I thought Christmas only came once on her face, ho ho ho and if you give me a while I can work at least one more bad pun into this. It’s got the perfect amount of set up, Natasha’s boss isn’t in the Christmas spirit so she changes and helps him get into the mood. Merry fucking Christmas.

Overall Natasha Nice delivers a great scene with a lot of flavor to the scene with the Christmas theme, and the set up is great.
Scene 4: Britney Amber
Britney Amber is another designer pornstar straight off the assembly line and damn well made. The set up, if you can call it that, is “hi my name is Britney Amber and check out my new toy” then straight to pounding her. The Munkey Bars are definitely a unique sex toy and I could get behind watching an entire DVD dedicated to that gimmick, it certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve ever seen and it’s a shame when she takes them off. Britney is definitely worthy of the title XXX Starlets.

Overall my complaints are nitpicking. I would have liked more oral, I would have liked to have seen him use the handle bars a little more and since they seem almost custom built for the flying positions that was a bit of a let down but at that point I’m trying to complain.

Scene 5: Charley Chase

Charley Chase, is she always such an enthusiastic cock devouring super whore? Is it normal for a guy to spit in her mouth and then gag jam his hand down her throat until tears stream out of her eyes? Does she always get throat fucked until she’s quacking and get manhandled? I love it, but this scene wouldn’t have been out of place in on a punishment DVD. She’s choked, and throat fucked and just thoroughly used. The beginning where he can’t even bother to pull her shorts all the way off is incredibly hot and so is her moaning. She gets slapped around a bit as well. The highlight of the scene for me is a when he pulls out and Charley is just lying there with this supremely satisfied expression before she gets yanked back into being a fuck doll.

Overall this scene is incredibly hot but it’s also a complete surprise and if you’re not into rough sex there it is with no warning and is so different from all the scenes before or after it. Charley is clearly enjoying yourself, or at least doing a good job of pretending she is but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s pretty intense.

Scene 6: London Keyes

London Keyes is another favorite pornstar of mine, right up there with Asa Akira and Mika Tan for best pornstar of all goddamn time. (Yes, I’m fully aware that I’m kinda partial to Asian chicks.) Which makes it hard for me to be objective about the scene. Personally, I’m not into toes so the foot job, and early cum shot onto her toes are at best distractions and that’s because I’m being polite about it. The set is also white, like, I don’t know quite how to describe it and it needs to be because it’s white, the bed she’s on is white and everything sort of blends together at most angles to the point where it looks almost like an a drawing where the artist just forgot to put in a background so the girl seems to be flying in some scenes. On top of that it’s just oral and foot play.

Overall I’m not impressed with the scene but I don’t find anything about feet to be sexy so this just wasn’t the scene for me even if my future ex-wife London Keyes was in it getting around my personal kinks isn’t easy but I imagine if you like this sort of thing it should be fine.

Summary: XXX Starlets is well worth the money spent on it. You get a good selection of girls and scenes with Charley Chase easily stealing the show and Natasha Nice being a close second. There isn’t a single bad scene in the film and that’s always a plus. There are some minor gripes, like who doesn’t have multiple chapter breaks per girl? This is 2014 not 1999 for crying out loud and these are very basic things we’re talking about here. Still it’s a pretty good product with lots of well known girls who deserve to be XXX Starlets.

Heading Out: Normally I’m not a fan of compilations because it’s like porn companies do the exact opposite of what they should do, instead of giving us the best scenes from several DVDs to convince us to watch them they give us the scenes that were so bad they could only be sold if you packed a DVD to the brim, sold it at a discount and prayed people would buy it for 9.99 and not care if it was garbage. Here the only problem is it that the scenes are a little all over the place and don’t feel like one DVD. They should have labeled where the scenes were from, I want the rest of the DVD that Charley Chase was on. The fact that you can’t skip around throughout the scenes is unacceptable. Considering the mistakes made this is still quality.

Extras: The extras here are lacking and it’s shocking how often this happens. The only extra we get is a photo gallery instead of the standard photo gallery, cumshot recap and trailers. That is what you should expect when you put a DVD in. In addition though I should be able to hit the skip button to bounce around a scene at will, having only chapter markers for each girl is fucking unacceptable in the year 2014. Maybe if this was 2002 I’d be more forgiving about things you should know better than but it’s not.