XXX Euro Trip 5: The Insatiable English Review

Porno Dan Presents: XXX Eurotrip 5

Studio: Pureplay

Starring: Samantha Bentley, Emma Butt, Tamara Grace, Jasmine Jae, Chessie Kay, Lucia Love

Length: 2 hours 4 minutes (feature)

For years I've been listening to people bitch about how the tube sites are destroying the porn industry. Maybe so, but they're really going after the bottom end. There are people who pay for the scenes with Playboy-bunny grade performers, beautiful sets and settings, and a much-better-than-average product.

And then there's this, which I feel like I've seen many times over many years. A guy rents a house, apartment, or even a motel room; he gets a buddy to film him or just locks down the camera; he hires some girls to come over, films the fucks, burns them onto DVD and sells them. Repeat.

This is that—again. A collection of six scenes with one guy and one or two girls for straight fucking. Except for the inclusion of a vibrator, it's vanilla sex. Even though there are six scenes, there are only four different women.

• Jasmine Jae and Tamara Grace (twice): Tamara is the bleach blonde; Jasmine is the brunette, both fake tits .
• Emma Butt and Lucia Love (twice): two brunettes; Lucia is small-breasted, Emma is voluptuous (albiet enhanced) and wears glasses.
• Samantha Bentley: a slim brunette.
• Chessie Kay: a slim natural blonde with fake tits.

"Bonus" materials are a picture gallery and trailers for other stuff.

I hate reviewing titles like this—there's nothing really wrong with it if you like this sort of thing, but my problem with it is that it's not very good. Unless you have a specific bone for one of the performers, there's nothing that makes this any different from the thousands of hours of stuff that's available on the tube sites. The photography is better than most of the amateur stuff, and there's no awful music track. But everyone spends way too much time looking at the monitors, and it's just rote "hop on and start pumping till it's time to change positions" stuff.

Is it bad? Absolutely not. It's just mediocre. It's the kind of video that seems like the only person who's going to get off on this is the guy being filmed.