Where The Boys Aren't 1 Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  3/20/2006

The Little Details

Running Time: 74 min.

Production Date: 1989

Director: Judy Blue aka Paul Thomas

Cast: April West, Barbara Dare, Fallon, Summer Rose, and Tori Welles in sexual roles and Joey Silvera and Paul Thomas in non-sex roles

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I think I remember watching this one a long, long time ago. I’m kinda looking forward to seeing it again.

Initial Reaction: It’s a pretty good movie and a pretty lousy DVD.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of all girl action with a bit of humor

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting passionate all girl group scenes

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects leave a lot to be desired until one considers that the movie was made in the late eighties. The audio is pretty well balanced, and I didn’t notice any background noises. The video is a bit blurry, but nicely lit and smooth flowing.

Music: The music is cheesy, but that’s to be expected with a movie this old. Thankfully it’s nicely balanced with the rest of the audio.

False Advertising: The cover advertises a chapter menu, photo gallery, and previews, none of which are on the DVD! I’m deducting a full point from the overall score because of this.

Menus: The menus are absolutely dismal! There’s no chapter menu, and the only thing close to a menu is a screen with the title on it and Vivid’s name with a button you press to play the movie.

The Feature

At PT Video, Joey and Paul are more than a little excited about the new script they’ve found. The girls, including newbie Tori, however, aren’t because there’s no girl - girl action in the script. Although they might not get any girl - girl action in the movie, they’re not going to let that stop them from getting some girl - girl action on the set.

Scene 1 - Barbara Dare and Tori Welles

While in the makeup chair, Tori asks Barbara to help her run through a few lines. They have a little fun getting into the sex scene, with the makeup girl giving them a little help by handing them her vibrator. Tori playfully kisses at Barbara’s tits and neck, and gets into it enough that the makeup girl decides to leave them alone. Barbara and Tori strip down, and Barbara lies back in a chair to let Tori tongue her twat. Barbara moves up in the chair so Tori can get at her from below a little easier, and encourages her to suck on her pussy until she has a shaking “orgasm”. Tori continues to suck on her tits a little as Barbara plays with her pussy before sitting back in the makeup chair so Barbara can finger fuck and tongue her shaved slit. Barbara also works on her with the vibrator while tonguing Tori’s clit before they finish things up with plenty of kisses.

This is a very nice scene. There’s great chemistry between the girls as well as a very fun feeling. The camera nicely mixes up angles, and there’s a nice balance between the girls. This is a hot scene with a great feeling.

Scene 2 - Barbara Dare, Summer Rose, and Tori Welles

When Joey tries fixing some of the script they were working on, the girls decide to pass time how they best can. Tori climbs over to lick Barbara’s pussy a little before the girls suck Tori’s tits. Tori quickly ends up in the middle with Summer licking her pussy while Barbara teases her from above. Barbara moves down to help Summer before climbing onto Tori’s tongue. She gets back down to work on Summer from behind before giving Summer a vibe to use on Tori. Barbara ends up in the middle with Summer working on her pussy while Tori rides her face. Finally the scene ends as Joey walks into the room and the girls have already started to get dressed.

This is an okay scene. Tori is easily the highlight of the scene as she looks up at Barbara as she rides Tori’s face. The rest of the scene seems kind of generic as Summer never moves much as well as never really getting to receive. It’s not a bad scene, but there’s nothing too special about it either.

Scene 3 - Fallon and April West

After chatting by the pool, dishwater blonde April and brunette Fallon get it on. They help each other strip down and kiss a bit as they sit on the edge of the pool, with Fallon taking the lead in licking April’s pussy. April eagerly reciprocates and grinds her tits against Fallon’s cunt before they bump uglies. Tori walks in to hand them some baby oil, so they oil each other up before rubbing each other’s clit. They slide in the pool where April licks both Fallon’s holes before taking her turn behind over the edge so Fallon can tongue her gash. Finally the girls end things kissing each other in the pool.

This is a pretty good scene. There’s some nice chemistry between the girls, but there are more than a couple times when April’s vocals seem to get a little too wild. They both do put in some nice energy, and there’s a nice mix of action. This is a pretty good scene that would have been even better if not for April’s wild vocals.

Scene 4 - Fallon, Summer Rose, and Tori Welles

Fallon gets a little more action by the pool with the help of Tori. As she rides Tori’s tongue with Tori lying back on a diving board, Summer shows up with a box of lingerie. After they check out a piece or two, they get right back to the action with Tori going after Fallon’s tits while Summer once again takes the end of the train. Tori slides down so she can lick Fallon’s pussy as well as suck Summer’s tits as they hang down in front of her with Summer sucking Fallon’s tits. Tori ends up on all fours with the girls working on her from behind before lying back with Summer going after her pussy again while Fallon works from sitting on her face to playing with Summer from behind. Fallon even gets a turn in the middle as Tori gets on her tongue and Summer continues to pull up the rear and lick pussy. Finally, the scene fades out as Tori licks Fallon’s pussy and Summer sucks her tits lying back on the diving board.

This is another okay scene. Fallon and Tori do a good job, but Summer seems like a third wheel for so much of the scene that it put me off a little. The chemistry and camera work were also pretty average, while the picture quality didn’t seem to be quite as good here as the indoor scenes. This is a pretty average scene.

Scene 5 - Barbara Dare and April West

Barbara and April head in to try to convince Paul Thomas that a girl - girl scene really could work in his script. They decide to try for the bar scene, and start off talking about not being able to find a good guy and wishing each other were guys. They kiss passionately and slowly explore each other while helping each other strip down before rubbing their tits together. They retire to their separate corners of the couch to diddle themselves before Barbara reaches a foot over to play with April’s pussy. She comes back with a vibrator to reciprocate before they mix up a bit of double dong and finger sucking. Naturally the share it between their lower lips as well before the scene comes to a close.

This is an okay scene to end things with. The girls definitely start things off right, and have plenty of chemistry to give it an overly sexy feel. Unfortunately, it heads downhill by dragging the scene out overly long and keeping it at a very slow pace. This is an okay scene, and easily the worst one-on-one scene in the movie.

Where the Boys Aren’t is a pretty good movie. It’s very easy to like, with the credit going as much to Joey Silvera and Paul Thomas as it does to the girls. The guys really help the movie out by giving it a great sense of humor with plenty of jokes about the industry and girl - girl sex scenes. The girls help a bit with the setups, but their main strength is in the sex scenes. Tori Welles really shines in every one of her appearances, with Barbara Dare being just as strong. The one-on-one scenes are easily the hottest in the movie, and have great chemistry as well as some nicely captured action while the group scenes fall short on both counts. Where the Boys Aren’t has a few faults, but there’s enough good stuff to make it an enjoyable movie that’s worth checking out.

The Extra Stuff

None. Not a single one! There’s no retrospective by Paul Thomas looking back at the series, no bonus scenes from other installments of the Where the Boys Aren’t series, no interviews with the girls looking back at the series, or anything else that could make this a truly great classic DVD release.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: All girl, toys, group, and rimming (female> female)

Raincoat Factor: Medium High

Condom Usage: None needed

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Vivid’s DVDs can be found between about $7 and $25, with stores offering them everywhere in between. Aim low or rent this one first. Although the movie is fun, has some hot sex, and has a decent transfer, the overall DVD completely sucks and is devoid of any extras (including the ones advertised on the cover). For a movie as classic as Where the Boys Aren’t, this release is almost insulting.

Note to Vivid: If you’re not going to give any extras, and especially not any real ones, the very least you could have done was to release this as part of a double feature DVD.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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