When Homey Cums Marchin' Homo Review

Reviewed by marinesrock  on  2/24/2005

This flick opens on Mark Woods, decked in a sailor's hat, and acting as our narrator. He may have horrible teeth and be comically unable to read, but don't let that turn you off from watching the jack-off scenes of real military bucks that follow.

First up is Darryl, a black sailor who at 6'2", 175 was the captain of his basketball team in high school. He coaxes out a big, white load onto his tight, chocolate stomach. Droplets even go as far as the base of his neck.

Next, we are treated to Dustin, a marine just back from Iraq. Actually he isn't the best looking (he's pale, his too many intrusive tattoos, and has a little more baby fat than the other boys)--however, the fucking dude has just come back from Iraq and is going back again...so as far as I'm concerned he deserves to dump his load whereever he sees fit. While in Iraq, Dustin worked in explosives. Unfortunately, that experience wasn't needed here since his cumshot was a mere dribbler.

In my opinion, the hottest guy is 20 year old (Woods initially says 19 but he's mistaken) Rico from the Bronx. This horse-hung marine is 5'7", 132 and has an ass to die for. He's also exceptionally toned and has the cutest, roundest balls. He spurts a river of man drool all down his hand and uses it to keep jackin'. Hot!

Next up is Sgt. Scott, a 5'6" white boy in a jump suit (air force?). According to Woods, he sports 8 inches. In the end, after stating, "here it cums", he gasps and blows a creamy load onto his awaiting abs.

In a play on presidential names (I don't think Woods gets the joke), we get to see Andrew Jackson jerk it. Of course this Jackson is 5'8", 150 and black (he appears to be in the army). His "old hickory" spurts a gooey load that coats his cockhead and most of his lower belly.

Woods then announces that they've saved the best for last. Why? Because it's "his fuckin' scene". This is the film's only fuck scene. Young Mexican boy Luis (not military) bottoms for Mark, first by riding his cock (I liked the fact that little Luis was rock hard for the entire ride) and then by getting it doggystyle. Mark talks dirty and pounds Luis' ass so hard that the cameraman intervenes to ask if Luis is all right. In the end after Luis instructs Mark on how to properly suck his balls, the lil' Mexican pops a nice wad all over his hand. Mark is then treated to the same ball-licking action, and finishes by coating Luis' face.

In the end, this is a good movie (if you're into military guys and don't let the fact that there's only one fuck scene put you off).