What's Up Doc (MAD Multimedia) Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  2/29/2004

What sets apart classic porn movies from fodder? “What’s Up Doc” is a perfect example of the latter. What could have been a classic instead is trash can material because of director Jack Remy’s use of trite dialogue, lousy camera work, and terrible editing.

The cast includes some of the best ladies in porn history – Britt Morgan, Ariel Knight, and Shanna McCullough. Renee Morgan is also present and, although she never won rave reviews for her performances, I always thought she was sexy/slutty as hell. Throw in Mike Horner, Randy West, and Scott Irish and you have the ingredients for a fine little fuck flick.

Instead we get the hackneyed, traditional lame script (the setting is a hospital), poor acting (blame the director), and by-the-numbers sex. The cameraman must have visited the local bar for several hours before he set up his camera for this one. He is all over the place, except for on the action.

As the opening credits roll, Shanna is blowing Randy. She’s good, and Randy is loving it. But they cut away from the action before he finishes. Less than two minutes of one of the greatest cocksuckers in porn annals!

Renee is a doctor with a German accent that would scare the fuehrer. She takes on two patients, Mike and Scott in a standard scene, ending with a couple cum shots to her pubes.

Ariel (aka Tami White), Britt (billed as Brittney Morgan), and Shanna do a little lez cavorting where the back of their heads (not their lips or mouths) seem to be the most interesting thing in Remy’s vision.

Randy and Renee team up for a semi-hot scene, but it’s ruined by the intercuts of a fourway between Britt, Ariel, Mike, and Scott. I hate when they do that. Leave the camera on one scene to completion, then switch to the other action. Again, that’s an old porn tradition, one that I can do without. No facials for any of the three beauties.

Shanna finally traps Randy for a long version of their opening teaser. You can tell they want to really let it rip during this scene, but Remy kept them sedate and boring. Another pussy money shot.

Brit and Ariel give a guy in a body cast (with appropriate hole) a blowjob to end this madness. Two hot oral specialists, and Remy chooses to show us the guy’s face for much of the three brief minutes. At least we’re finally rewarded for our patience with the only facial of the flick.

The dialogue could have been written by a junior high dropout. It’s filled with double entendres, clichés, and bathroom humor. One character’s name is the brunt of many jokes. His name is Mucus, and every time it is uttered, the speaker is forced to make an ugly face and spit it out like it’s the real thing. Adolescent!

Shame on Remy for wasting the talent and resources he had at his disposal (an appropriate word) to release this piece of garbage. He should have his director’s license yanked and be forced to watch classic porn movies for a year before he ever gets back his chair. Even for 1988, this hound just won’t hunt.