What's a Girl Gotta Do? Review

Director

Jonathan Morgan

Cast

Stormy Daniels, Nicole Sheridan, Rita Faltoyano, Kelli Tyler, Alexis Malone, Randy Spears, Evan Stone, Steven St. Croix, Voodoo, Wankus (Non-Sex).

Genre

Feature

Condoms

All male-female scenes have condoms.

Running Time of Main Feature

2 Hr. 28 Mins.

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those looking for a light hearted, non-threatening romp with a couple of decent sex scenes and several pretty good laughs.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those looking for major intensity, or a lot of sexual chemistry.

REVIEW:
Mmm. In addition to Stormy, who I have to admit I've come to like better as a director than a performer, this one has Alexis Malone and Kelli Tyler. ::panting like a lost puppy:: Unfortunately, the work I've seen from Jonathan Morgan, while certainly having a good sense of humor, hasn't boasted the best sex scenes I've ever seen. I expect I'll laugh, but whether I'll get turned on is another matter.

There's no dilly-dally here. In a series of mock-interview segments, we learn that Aimee (Stormy Daniels) is trying to impress The Boss (Randy Spears) by throwing him a dinner party. Meanwhile, The Boss just wants to be left alone. There is some disagreement about whether Athena (Kelli Tyler) and Aimee are good friends. Aimee thinks so, Athena doesn't. Anyway, Athena is apparently a lesbian (ARRRGgghhh!) and she's got an artist girlfriend, Jennifer (Rita Faltoyano) who, according to Aimee is as dumb as a box of rocks. No matter, before we get three minutes into the movie, there's some girl-girl sex to be had that no doubt has nothing to do with any of this.

Scene 1 - Kelli Tyler & Rita Faltoyano

As cute as Kelli Tyler and Rita Faltoyano are (and they ARE cute), I simply can not get into the idea of painting yourself as a prelude to sex. That's exactly what both of them do here: paint themselves, paint each other, etc. It's just not for me. Given that, though, there's a pretty cool sequence where Rita slowly strips Kelli of her stockings and starts teasing her pussy with her tongue. Kelli then returns the favor while Rita is bent over a chair, and then while straddling Kelli's face. They finish things off with a 69. Despite the paint that dirties up their pretty breasts, this is a pretty good lookin' scene, but there's absolutely nothing even remotely real looking here. It's all slow, deliberate and just for show.

As the "interview" segments continue, we learn that Aimee's roomate, Danielle (Nicole Sheridan) is an aspiring actress and she'll be at the party as well. Her claim to fame is a weird-ass commercial where she delivers a line that had me laughing while... scratching my head at the same time. All intentional, I'd gather. Meanwhile, the Boss (Randy Spears) is still complaining about this whole event. But doesn't he realize that the assistant ambassador to Madrid is going to be there? It seems that the ambassador, Kenneth (Steve St. Croix), and Aimee had a little tryst one year while she was interning in his office. And because this is a porn movie that doesn't just gloss over these kinds of things, we're going to get the opportunity to relive one of their past encounters.

Scene 2 - Stormy Daniels & Steven St. Croix

Stormy's wearing a cute little white ribbon in her hair for this scene--it's very Princess-y. :) She looks as cute as she ever does, of course, with her big ol' boobies, her blonde hair and her pretty smile. The scene itself is not-surprisingly average, although there are a few intense moments here and there by Stormy standards. Steven starts out licking Stormy, while folding her legs back and occasionally sucking on her toes. She sucks his cock before they go into the normal fornication round-robin of positions--doggy, reverse cowgirl, and missionary. Steven finally cums on Stormy's tummy. They demonstrate some good energy here, including a few cock-gaggy moments here and there, but there's not much here more interesting than that--to me anyway.

There's evidently some misunderstanding between Kenneth (Steven St. Croix) and Aimee (Stormy) about why he's been invited to her party, but I'm sure it'll all work itself out--no problem. Aimee goes on to lament about being the only girl in an all boys club, and we get some flashbacks of her being pelted with nerf-guns and she's told to stay away when the boys are looking at a particularly naughty website. This whole scene prompts Aimee to claim that she's no stranger to sexual debauchery. No one pays attention to her, but no matter. She's already lost inside her own daydream with fantasy lover Evan Stone.

Scene 3 - Stormy Daniels & Evan Stone

This time Stormy sports a black bra, a pair of absolutely over the top high-heeled leather boots, and some very optically busy fishnet panty-hose as she approaches Evan Stone who is sitting waiting for her. The bra comes off pretty well immediately and they start kissing while Evan gropes her breasts. As has been characterisitc of all the scenes so far, this one is very slow, showy and dream like in execution. Perhaps that's a trade-mark of Jonathan Morgan's scenes. Even works his tongue down her body until settling on her pussy. They switch positions and he fingers her while she strokes and licks his cock. He eventually takes the initiative and pumps her mouth without her assistance before slipping it into her in the missionary and cowgirl positions. He cums on her boobies, and so ends Aimee's fantasy.

Aimee is prompted back to work by The Boss, even as he and the rest of the boys get back to looking at their crazy web site. Eugene (Eric Masterson) happens by and contributes to Aimee's gross-out factor, but he's gone in a flash as well. Back in the present, plans for the party are falling apart a bit when several of the invited guests (mostly women) have decided to cancel. When Johnny (Voodoo) shows up to pick up Danielle (Nicole Sheridan) for a roller-derby date she forgot they had, she tells him she can't go, but she's still got time to send him away with a smile.

Scene 4 - Nicole Sheridan & Voodoo

The two of them retire to the bathroom and pretty well rip off each other's clothes. Nicole enthusiastically sucks on his cock, and right away this scene starts out with a very playful, urgent attitude that the rest of the scenes on this disc sadly lacked. Voodoo and Nicole (being significant others offscreen) work with each other all the time, and they usually bring a chemistry to their scenes that a lot of other Wicked scenes don't have. They banter back and forth while Nicole works over his cock and balls with her mouth. He teases her by light-heartedly threatening to leave, but she convinces him to stay as he pushes his cock into her missionary style. The banter continues throughout the scene, and it's good enough to be sexy and make you smile at the same time--a far cry from the relatively dull sex that's characterized this movie so far. They continue like this through a great, leggy doggy-style position and some reverse-cowgirl, before she jerks his load on her pussy and thigh. It's easily the best scene on the disc so far, both in terms of chemistry and eye-candy.

Their exertions have created a new wrinkle, however. Johnny (Voodoo) has thrown out his back. He's stuck lying in the middle of the bathroom floor while Aimee is in the kitchen screaming into the phone, trying to prevent the caterers from canceling on her only scant minutes before the party starts. Meanwhile, Aimee's old boyfriend, Zak, has decided to show up at just that moment to make amends and try to get back together. This... is not a good time. Johnny is still screaming for a pair of pants, but then the door-buzzer rings again, this time revealing an old, regular friend of Aimee's, Ann-Marie (Alexis Malone). Lucky for Ann-Marie, she's quickly recruited into becoming the maid for the evening--complete with the degrading costume, of course.

Lots of guests arrive, both invited and uninvited. One of the more amusing is Eugene (Eric Masterson) the nerd of the office who has very particular care requirements for the flowers he brought her. The Boss (Randy Spears) has arranged for a friend of his to call shortly after he arrives at the party to provide an excuse for him to get outta there. But, when he catches a glimpse of Danielle (Nicole Sheridan), he changes his mind. He recognizes her from her commercial, and suddenly gets all star-struck. At the same time, Kenneth (Steve St. Croix) is trying with limited success to impress the two lesbians (Rita Faltoyano and Kelli Tyler), and there is a damn funny moment when he goes to the bathroom and discovers a naked, immobilized Johnny (Voodoo) who begs him for some help.

And that's only the beginning. Eugene gets creepier. Kenneth still plans on rekindling things with Aimee. Johnny still has no pants. A man dressed in a chicken suit has showed up at the door to do a little dance ad try to win Aimee back for Zak. And the fire department has shown up to give some assistance to Johnny. Most of it is pretty amusing, actually. We do get back into some sex, finally, when the two lesbians start one-upping each other about what good fucks they are. They decide to settle the dispute by recruiting The Boss (Randy Spears) to help them out with a good old-fashion fuck-off.

Scene 5 - Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano & Randy Spears

The two girls attack Randy and strip him as they writhe their way into some dual cocksucking action. Kelli lights it up with some sexy deep-throat and Rita straddles Randy's face for some pussy licking. The two girls trade places, and there's more of the same before Kelli mounts Randy cowgirl while Rita looks on. I really think Kelli is very pretty, and she's been around for a good long while now--dark long hair with an understated, beautiful face and a killer, tattoo-free body. Rita has those big natural boobs going for her, along with a pretty smile that you don't get to see much of here. Rita finally pushes Kelli out of the way and fucks Randy with some reverse cowgirl while Kelli sits on his face. The two girls trade off in a couple different positions, and there's some nice energy and pretty hard fucking displayed here. I think Kelli is the cutest girl in the movie, but you know, we each have our tastes. The two girls eventually end up sharing Randy's load on their tongues and chins. They ask who was the better fuck, but according to Randy, the jury's still out. This is certainly one of the better scenes of the movie, albeit not as cool as Nicole and Voodoo's.

Back out at the party the lesbians want a tie-breaker with Kenneth (Steven St. Croix), but Kenneth claims he's with Aimee. So does Eugene, in fact, but Aimee sets them both straight. Meanwhile, the firemen are making a total disaster out of Johnny's extraction from the bathroom. The Boss tells Aimee that she got the job, despite the party, and apparently Ann-Marie (Alexis Malone) has hooked up with Eugene (Eric Masterson) because he's got that creepy, nerdy, cute thing going. All's well that ends well, I suppose, but even as the credits start to role, there does seem to be one sex scene missing.

Scene 6 - Alexis Malone & Eric Masterson

Eugene (Eric) interrupts the credits mid-scroll and asks whether we want to see him "get his freak on". As long as it's with Alexis Malone... ok. :) She enters the bedroom in her maids outfit and Eric sports a batman-esque mask and some pasties.

Yes--that's right. Pasties.

Anyway, it isn't long before she straddles his lap and starts lapping at his cock. Alexis looks yummy as usual, complete with smoky thigh-highs and black heels while she works over his cock with her fist and mouth. Aside from Alexis' fantastic, natural looks, this is fairly average work for her, which is to say it's not too shabby. She does some reverse cowgirl, some pussy to mouth, and wraps things up with some doggy, some spoon, and a facial. Eric is his usual trustworthy, boring self. The girls seem to like working with him ok, but I've never seen any evidence that they actually like having sex with him. But... hey, what do I know? What I see on the screen is all I've got to go on. Randy Spears seems like a much better all around performer in this regard.

EXTRAS:

All Access: The Making of What's a Girl Gotta Do?: 30 Mins. Just your average Wicked behind the scenes fair--which means you really oughta watch it if your in any way interested in some of the fun happenings beyond the movie-proper.
Bonus Sex Scene with Stormy & Cheyne Collins from Secrets of the Velvet Ring: 14 Mins.
Trailers: The Collector, One Man's Obsession, Road Trixxx, Shameless, Secrets of the Velvet Ring, Wicked Sex Party #7.
Blooper Reel: 11 Mins.
Trailer for What's a Girl Gotta Do?
Photo Gallery
Star Galleries
Star Stats

OVERALL:
Pretty good. ::nodding:: Pretty good. For the most part the sex in this movie is pretty well average, except for some more unusual moments like the body painting in Kelli and Rita's scene. My favorite scene was the one between Voodoo and Nicole, and although I feel like I've seen them perform together a hundred times, they still manage to convey a fun chemistry that really adds to the sexy-factor. I also enjoyed Kelli, Rita, and Randy's scene quite a bit. Randy actually seems responsive to the girls he's fucking, and I really have a thing for Kelli Tyler--so there you go. The final scene with Alexis is full of great eye candy as well. Unfortunately, Stormy's scenes felt a little... "ehhh" to me, but that's not for a lack of trying. I think maybe a lot of that is me just feeling like I've seen a bit too much of Stormy. On the up-side, there are always a few good laughs in a Jonathan Morgan movie, and this one is no exception. In that way, there's enough interest generated in the non-sex action to keep you off of the fast forward button. And in the pornographic scheme of things, it's not a completely terrible script either. That's about as ringing an endorsement as I can give it I s'pose. Anyway, all in all, it's worth a rental for Stormy fans, Jonathan Morgan fans, or anyone who wants a pleasant, sexy diversion to share with your sweety in the bedroom.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons