Watcher 3, The (Vivid Raw) Review

The Plot: What plot? It's a gonzo, so by definition we have no plot. There is this theme of someone with a handheld video camera peeking in windows and watching people have sex. It kind of runs like this: we start with a view from the handheld camera which apparently only shoots in black & white, and with a flashing "[REC]" in red in the corner. I suppose we are to believe that we are watching this through the viewfinder. We watch as our perverted cameraman approaches and films the characters in the scene getting within striking distance. At that point, we cut to a more traditional porno angle, and in color. Every now and then we cut back to the long shot from the "black and white" camera, just to remind you that someone is watching. The cameraman will duck around a bit, trying not to be seen, to add realism. Uh-huh. Sure.

I'll admit it right now, I'm not a really big fan of gonzo. In fact, this is my first review of a gonzo film. Since I always include a plot section, I am a bit at a loss for what to say here. Let me just say that I miss my porn plot. Sigh.

The Cast: Well now, who have we here? Mirage, Envy, McKayla, Jade, Kaylynn, Kerri... Great crop of women with only one name to them! We also have Violet Love and Dayton Rains. The male half is made up of Bobby Vitale, Pat Myne and as that is it as far as I can tell. I would believe it, as you definitely see the same guy more than once. Again, we have little in the way of credits, here. I had to guess in some of these scenes.

The Sex: Well, it's a gonzo, so let's get on with the sex! We start our little vignettes with Mirage taking on two guys on top of a dining room table. As the Watcher films through the window, we see her give them a quick warm-up blowjob, and then she gets on top of the table and takes one guy on each end. Since I can't find the exact names of these guys anywhere on the disc, we'll just call them Dick #1, and Dick #2. Let me compliment Mirage on her blowjob technique, it looks very good. She takes her time, and gets a lot of deep shaft slides on these guys. Once up on the table, she does a lot of doggie style/blowjob action, and some anal work, too. The box says this is Mirage's first anal on film. Frankly, I'm not impressed. The editing on this scene is so bad... at one moment, you're watching her get her pussy pounded by Dick #1, then we cut to the other end and she does some blowjob action on Dick #2... and then we cut back, and Dick #2 is now in her ass. Back to blowjob end, now featuring Dick #1 and then we cut back and see her ass get penetrated by Dick #2. Somebody in editing dropped the ball, big time! After a few minutes of this, she mounts Dick #2 for some reverse cowgirl while blowing Dick #1, and then spins around for Dick #1 to do some regular cowgirl. Everyone hops off the table to cum on her face. Despite the editing, this scene was decidedly mediocre, if not downright bad. Mirage is an interesting curiosity to me, because she photographs well, and gives great looking blowjobs, but as soon as she gets mounted on something stiff, she looks bored. This is too bad, for the box cover and the photos in the photo gallery of her look stunning.

Well, having done a little walking around to the other side of the house, we see Envy walking up to a man in a chair. No, I don't know his name, so don't ask. Envy is a delicious piece of work, too. More rounded than Mirage, and definitely more active. She walks in wearing a very sheer robe and a light blue bra & panties set. The bra stays on throughout the scene, and it's a good thing, too. As she takes her breasts out of the bra, there is a quick show of a really prominent surgery scar (I think that's what it is). It's only there for an instant, courtesy of the bra. She starts blowing him in the chair and she starts to sound like she's about to orgasm right there. For someone giving a hand job/blow job, she made a lot of noise. A little reverse cowgirl while he's still sitting in a very good-looking bit, and then they hop down to the floor for some anal doggie style. This one is done right! She turns around for some reverse anal cowgirl, and this scene looks very good. I don't know what it is about the guy in this scene but he looks pissed off to be there. He actually looked upset that he had to deal with a horny woman who gives good blowjobs. If I ever get that jaded, shoot me. After apparently satisfying Envy with her on top, we fade into him doing her ass again in a rather flat doggie style. She's down on her knees and chest, and he does her ass until he cums all over it. He then goes back to sit in the chair, and she walks off (just a little bowlegged).

Dayton Rains takes on the two guys and the patio furniture in our next scene. She walks out to two guys while wearing platform heels and a bikini. Well, it's actually underwear. I don't think bikinis have lace like that. She struts around a bit, teasing, and then starts blowing one of the guys in the chairs. She's pretty energetic, and you can hear the guy's comments of appreciation. She gives deep blowjobs, too, with some great looks up at her partner. After a little while, she switches guys (actually, you don't see this. All of a sudden, the shirt above the dick she's sucking is blue instead of black). Dick #1 prepares the mattress pads, and starts to lick her while she's still working on Dick #2. This goes on for quite sometime, until she turns around and sits on Dick #2 (who has magically sprouted a condom). Dayton really starts to warm up once she's got a good stiff one inside. After riding Dick #2 for a while, she sits down on Dick #1 for some traditional cowgirl. Quick note: her platform shoes are so large that she can't get her legs through the arms of the chair very easily. Ladies, take off the freakin shoes, huh? Actually, come to think of it, everyone keeps their shoes on for this scene. I guess that's how we're supposed to tell them apart! She's pretty good at this, moving in very deliberate pattern until she disentangles herself from the chair and they move to the cushions. Here, she gets one guy on each end doggy style for a while. While her ass is up in the air, one of the guys penetrates her... um, backward. Think of traditional doggie position, and then make the guy face the other way (away from her head). Rather novel, I like it. It looks very uncomfortable, but it's a neat change. Dayton then rolls over on her back and puts her ass in the air for some more acrobatic sex. Dayton then takes two loads in the face, and the Watcher wanders off in search of more sex.

And he finds it in about ten seconds in the form of McKayla and her partner. She starts the scene wearing this see through dress and panties, and they stay on for about two minutes. She has got a beautiful body! She walks up to her man who is sitting in a chair and starts to give him a blowjob (hey, deja vu!). She's also fairly vocal with a nice, seductive tone. They trade places, and now McKayla sits in the chair and gets eaten. He stands up and gets her to suck him off for a minute and then he starts banging her while she's sitting in the chair. These two work well together. He doesn't just pound away, he varies his tempo a bit, teases her with his dick... Very nicely done. Even better, the takes his socks off! (Just kidding. The sex was better than the socks). They hop down to the floor for some reverse cowgirl action for a bit, and then over to regular cowgirl. After a some doggie style, McKayla lays on her back with her cunt in the air, and he practice his offshore drilling technique. He takes a few strokes and then pulls out so you can see her lips close as he leaves. I think it looks pretty good, mainly because she looks like he's teasing the hell out of her. This is a good scene, and the two people appeared to have some chemistry going.

Kaylynn and Jade appear for our next feature act. I wish I knew what the current tattoo fad is all about. They both have some tattoos, but Jade has this thing between her shoulder blades that makes me wonder what she was thinking. Anyhow, the two of them walk in on some guy sitting on a sofa, and proceed to suck his dick. When I retire, I want to have afternoons like this. They both have a very similar technique and work him over quite well. After standing up for a second to give the girls a better angle, he has Kaylynn sit on his cock for some reverse cowgirl. It is interesting to note that you actually see him put on the condom, something that was absent from the other scenes. I think he's the same guy from Scene #2 with Envy, but I'm not sure. She turns around and rides him the other direction for a bit, as well. I think she likes this position better, as her moans get a bit more energetic. Not enough positions, I guess, because he moves to the floor and begins to do her doggie style, too. I think Jade was getting a bit jealous, as she gives him a pretty evil look. That's enough of one girl, as Jade removes the lower half of the bra & thong set and sits on his dick for some reverse cowgirl. She has beautiful skin and a nice body. She shaves pretty tightly, too. There is a scar about three inches long on her right abdomen, but it certainly doesn't detract from the scene. She flips over for some doggie style anal entry, and Kylynn, bless her heart, helps guide his dick inside. He pulls out after a little while and then stands up so he can cum on both of their faces. Not too bad of a scene, and the ladies are very pretty. Jade's moans seem a little forced, but I've heard worse.

And last but not least, we have Violet Love and Kerri who are double-teaming some guy in a bedroom. They wander in as he's lying on the bed, and start to show off their asses. I don't think I've seen Violet love in anything else, but she moves like a dancer. Very soft, and deliberate moves. She gives him a good blowjob the same way. This scene had the most dialogue out of all the scenes on this disc. Kerri takes her turn sucking his cock while Violet sucks his balls. Kerri moves out of the way, and Violet sits on his face for a few minutes, letting Kerri get back to her blowjob duties. She apparently is responsible for putting the condom on, too, as Violet moves around for some cowgirl action while Kerri sits on his face. After a quick break to remove the last of the clothes (including the high heels, thank you!), Kerri resumes her spot on his face, and Violet faces the other way. Hmm... I wonder if Kerri is actually doing to get any dick at all today? You betcha! They move to the floor where she gets it doggie style. Violet refuses to be a bystander and gently fondles and kisses whats-his-name before leaning back and watching the show with a hand on her twat. Kerri isn't much of a mover, and I would rather watch Violet masturbate than Kerri get it in the ass. However, Kerri makes up for lack of movement with volume. She sounds like a telephone pole is ramming her. After turning Kerri into a quivering mass on the floor, he spoons behind Violet and pushes into her ass. Not to be outdone, Kerri gets on all fours and takes him in the ass, too. He must be hitting something right, because she's a screamer. We cut to the two of them lying head to head, and he attempts to cum on their faces. He just doesn't have the distance, and showers Violet. Kerri, not to be outdone, sucks the last droplets off his dick. Ah, this was the best scene on the disc. Violet Love really is the scene-stealer here. Beautiful body, great tits (if they're fake, it's a great job), and she just moves sensuously. Kerri isn't bad by any stretch, but Violet just proves that there is more to sex appeal than a flat stomach and good breasts.

Six scenes in all, only one of which didn't have any anal. The scenes that have two women in them are decidedly little in the way of lesbian action. I hope you like the guys, because they appear a lot.

The Audio / Image: The audio on this disc is strange from an aesthetic standpoint. It really can be divided into two sections: Handheld Sound, and Pornocam Sound. Handheld Sound is ostensibly from the "handheld" camera that the Watcher introduces each scene with. Pornocam Sound is the sound that accompanies the regular up-close-and-personal angles, like any other porn filming. Here's the mildly weird part: Handheld sound is supposed to be outside, looking through a window into the house. You can hear a highway in the background, birds in the nearby trees, and the occasional other sounds from a neighborhood. You can also hear inside the house, through the sealed window. Ah, the miracles of modern technology! Able to pick up the slightest "Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!" of dick in the morning, through plate glass! Here's the very weird part: when we switch to Pornocam, the sex sounds are softer than they are in Handheld mode. It sounds like someone mixed in the sex audio track during the handheld scenes and boosted the gain to compensate for the background noise present in the outdoors Handheld shots. It's not distracting, really, but rather an odd curiosity. There is no background music on this disc, during the sex scenes or otherwise. Well, that's not entirely true. The beginning of each scene has a bit of a background score to it, but it fades out as soon as dick touches mouth. This means you can hear the action really well. Slurps, spits, scrapes, thwaps, squelches and one pussy fart.

The image is clear and you can see every detail, including the ones that you'd rather not. Granted, I'm not a porn star, so I don't see my ass blown up onto the TV like that, but I have to wonder if I have zits on my ass like several of these ladies. The original video master had some problems, and they show up on the disc beautifully. Most notably the occasional static lines that flicker into existence at the top of the image. During the color scenes, there appear to be no problems with the image from a DVD standpoint. I only saw problems with what I associate with the source material. Lighting is pretty good, even in the outdoor shots, and it remains consistent for each cut. Overall, it looks like a really clear VHS tape on a quirky VCR. During the brief black & white "handheld" moments, there was some shimmering. It's not really a distraction, mainly because it is for such a brief period of time.

The Extras: Photo gallery, previews, scene selection and "interactive room". That's it. The previews and the interactive room are on the other side of the disc; accessible through an interface designed to look like a hallway. You start in the interactive room, which just gives you clips of sex scenes, and you move to the previews by selecting an unmarked arrow on the floor. Each one of the "rooms" has two clips associated with it, with a full-motion preview. As far as interactive rooms go, it's not too shabby. Previews for the Action Sports series 1, 2 and 3, and Sin-a-Matic 2 and 3.

The Good: Some of the sex is pretty good. No distracting music.

The Bad: Image problems. Some of the sex is pretty bad. Everybody, take of the fucking shoes already!

Overall: Eh... I'm not a big gonzo fan under most circumstances, but even so, this was a pretty ho-hum disc. I say give this one a pass.