An American
porn director in London, Corey Jordan's mission, in a movie shot with
a cast partially familiar from his contemporary London Shaggers, is to
bring you anal sex with English girls - five scenes of girl-boy action,
to be precise.
Alicia Rhodes
So for starters, how about a voluptuous blonde so naughty that she wears
knickers that have "devil" printed on them under her matching red dress?
Alicia certainly has a very pretty face, but a filthy mouth and a mischievous
attitude. After a well-done tease session and a quick interview with the
director (she's 23 but looks a little younger and claims around 50 scenes,
but I note from her listing at www.bgafd.co.uk that she's worked a lot
for UK satellite porn shows), she's presented with a guy to play with.
She takes charge, teases him a little and then puts her red-painted pouting
lips to work on his cock. After allowing him to slip his tool between
her generous titties, she gets on top and rides him. The polite way to
comment here is to suggest Corey's low camera angle doesn't flatter Alicia's
ass - let's see her pretty face and lovely boobs instead!
Alicia is quite unabashed about her performance, hopping off to blow her
man (who, incidentally, looks something like the singer of Feeder) in
preparation for the anal sex…about time too. Alicia gets it in the ass
doggy style, with breaks for some ass-to-mouth, and then in reverse cowgirl
- at last a chance to see her big (hopefully natural) boobs in action.
She's constantly whispering dirty remarks as she rides him, and all too
quickly it ends with him popping his nuts over her chin. This isn't exactly
a bad scene, Alicia has ample appeal but I think she needs to be paired
with a fellow who can deliver the kind of shagging that she obviously
fancies but doesn't really get here. It's also kind of fun to hear such
rudeness from someone with such a…well, I hesitate to say angelic
face, because she looks too naughty, but you get the idea.
Jamie Woods
Here's another British blonde with a trooper's vocabulary, doing her best
to kick a hole in the stereotype of the English rose. Jamie is nineteen,
has a pretty face and pretty tits, and amuses and surprises Corey in the
funny and frank interview, before she gets her kit off. As Jami has already
shown that she's a sparky character (she says fans of A2M action are "sick
cunts"), it's no surprise to hear her using similarly forthright language
to instruct the spiky-haired chap who comes in and starts fingering and
eating her pussy. Jami returns the favour, hungrily sucking his cock.
The lewd lingo continues to emit from our little miss's pouty lips as
she's fucked missionary, though the crappy location (just on a counter
in the corner of a nondescript room) is a bit…er, crappy. Following a
quick slurp of her juices from his cock, she treats us to a marvellous
view of her peachy cheeks as she sinks her ass down on to said penis.
Again, the girl is in control for anal, moving herself on the guy's dick,
and turning to reverse cowgirl so she can watch it slide in. She moves
with increasing urgency, and finally demands that he comes in her mouth.
He duly obliges. I enjoyed this, though again it's maybe a better ad for
the girl than a seriously good scene in its own right. Though I haven't
watched them properly, to that end, Jamie is in even nastier mood in her
appearances for Red Light District - a cover girl role in Swallow My Pride
2 and also a spot in Assault That Ass 2, where the air turns blue yet
again.
Chloe
The first of the girls who also appear in London Shaggers, 18-year-old
Chloe is a full-figured blonde who has had some surgical assistance with
that sizeable rack. Still, she's young, quite pretty, very amiable and
pretty keen to get into her first anal scene. This starts with her admiring
a convertible car (an old Rolls, perhaps?) in some lean-to garage, and
in comes a guy whose own gear stick quickly grabs her attention. The way
she takes it straight in her mouth, with some impression of real excitement,
is most impressive, as is the respectable heat between Chloe and her rough-hewn
partner during the foreplay.
Chloe earlier giggled nervously when Corey suggest making her first anal
scene an all-anal scene, and sure enough that's the way the play it. Chloe
seems to have little difficulty, taking it doggy over the car, and even
throwing in some A2M as well as her own brand of dirty talk. He fucks
her ass in missionary, the little dress she's been sort of wearing now
crumpled round her waist. Further anal entry ensues in reverse cowgirl,
in the car, before Chloe excitedly strokes him off onto her face. It's
funny - Chloe doesn't really appeal to me physically (especially not her
boobs) but there's just something about this scene - maybe it's just her
happy, obliging attitude and her willingness to give it a go - which I
can't deny did the trick.
Amber Sex
Also known as Amber Angel, this tanned, tautly curvaceous blonde teases
in another well-shot outdoor sequence, her girlish pigtails in sharp contrast
to her very grown-up figure (in the behind the scenes she says she's 25).
She also appeared in London Shaggers, but she's back and this time it's
anal! Her body looks very good here, just a shame those boobs are not
entirely natural. Her attitude, though, during the quick chat that follows,
seems quite genuine, and so we proceed to the action proper, where the
fellow from the previous scene (apologies for ID failure) towels her down
after she's had a float in the pool. They exchange oral favours, Amber
looking really small beside him, before he nudges it up her doggy style.
After some reasonably energetic fucking, Amber turns around and sucks
the chap's cock. Then there's a big jump cut to doggy anal sex, already
in progress. It's quite gentle, perhaps reflecting Amber's trepidation
about the act, and it takes till well into reverse cowgirl anal before
Amber's really moving with some confidence. But then it seems like just
when they really get going, the guy pulls out and ends up coming weakly
on her chin. Something of a disappointment, then - looked like they were
all set but somehow it doesn't quite happen.
Sheena
Another "London Shagger", slim, pale dark-haired Sheena is actually from
Leeds, and performs a slow-mo strip for the camera, slipping out of pink
t-shirt, shorts and panties, before indulging Corey in a little chat about
her sexual likes and dislikes. Hmm. I am not sure about Sheena - I guess
she's fairly pretty and has a nice body but there's something that I can't
put my finger on (no pun intended) that curbs my enthusiasm. No such restriction
on the fellow who's paired with her for this scene, though, as he's happy
to have the keen girl (now naked again - continuity?) blowing him. He
goes down on her hairy muff in return.
Next, they kiss and get into some missionary sex, which goes on a touch
too long. I guess they were enjoying some good feelings. Sheena eventually
offers up her rear and guides her man's cock in. Again, the anal sex is
quite gentle and reminds the viewer of the sensitivity of this act. The
pace picks up a little as they move to reverse cowgirl and to spoons,
but once more I feel it doesn't quite get into the groove before Sheena
makes him come in her mouth. So, not 100% about the girl and less about
the sex - a modest end to the action.
Overall
Up Your Bum is some way better than its sister movie, London Shaggers.
The sex is better, I liked the different girls better, and the attitude
is better. I am always in two minds about dirty talk in movies, and there's
a lot of it here, as it can seem contrived and even laughable, but Jamie
and Alicia in particular have bags of attitude and are definitely worth
seeing. The question is if Up Your Bum is the movie to see them in. Well,
if gentler, non-malicious but still naughty sex with lots of colour and
cheeky English girls is what's required then Up Your Bum could well fit
the bill. It might not be entirely accurate, but I guess that I could
say this is like a slightly milder version of what Red Light District
are doing.
However, while it's well shot even if some editing decisions are questionable,
it's similar to the likes of Teen Sensations 2 (which I reviewed recently)
in that while everything is set up and presented nicely, they don't quite
follow through with the scorching sex that would take the movie to a whole
other level. More variation of the girl-boy ratio wouldn't hurt either.
Still, as it is it's a pleasant surprise and holds some promise that Anarchy
are capable of making some decent porn.
DVD Comments
The disc is well done on the technical side, with excellent menu graphics,
scene breakdowns on the chapter menus, and good picture quality - strong
colour and very sharp. The only bone of contention is the use of that
on-screen menu. It's smaller than the last Anarchy disc I looked at (Anal
Fever) but it's still annoying. If you must have it, please make it optional!
Extras are as follows: photos, trailers, Anarchy's girls clip (actually
just the tease sequences strung together), and 8 minutes of behind the
scenes, which does have a couple of interesting comments - Amber confesses
her apprehension about the anal scene (which shows in the scene itself)
and Jamie vociferously restates her opposition to ATM. She also says she
wants to go to America - well, obviously she's done that since this movie
was made. Otherwise, it's just about a few photo-shoot clips and some
very standard questioning.
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