Up and Cummers 67 Review

Reviewed by Diville  on  1/18/2001

Starring: Charlene Aspen, Delilah Paige, Miajah, Amyteist, Amy Atakani, Jamie, Ronnie Cox, Randy West

Directed By: Randy West

Number 67 is either the volume number on this edition of Up & Cummers, or it's series creator Randy West's age. OK, that's not really fair; the man is not that ancient, but you almost feel compelled to make an age crack anytime his name is invoked. In fact, West has been around the business so long that he's picked up some valuable lessons about how good pornography is made. This edition of his signature series, however, would do nothing to support the claim. After watching several volumes of Up & Cummers I'm starting to believe West feels compelled to put out a new release whether he's got the footage to merit it or not. Sometimes he's got some really good scenes, and other times, he appears to have phoned it in with the first stripper he could talk into sex.

As the title suggests, Up & Cummers is all about new girls who are just trying to break into the business, or have only been performing on camera a short while. Just like investors can't always get in on the ground floor of a Microsoft or IBM, every girl an aging pornographer meets isn't going to be the next Jenna Jameson or future Tera Patrick. Take Charlene Aspen, the outgoing Puerto Rican porn star whose name may be more recognizable than her face. She's not an unattractive girl, but she's not the kind of beauty who makes you think you've seen the bright future of perverted things to come. In the opening scene, her boyfriend pimps her out to Randy who does his usual business with her between short breaks when the boyfriend himself hops on board to continue the action. Sex alone isn't sexy, as this proves. Both men finish with a facial, but I wasn't impressed.

The same can be said for Miajah, a thin and shapely black girl whose scene begins en median res. As noted before her segment even starts, this is the second half of a scene began in another edition. She looks good; I'll give her that. And she seems to be enjoying herself, but there's nothing here to write your parents about (assuming you like to write your parents about how much you enjoy pornography). West, as he is inclined to do, moans as if he's having a heart attack, and after a few minutes of fucking, the scene is over.

Delilah Paige could be the the ultimate college co-ed type pornstar if not for her over-inflated tits and a few extra pounds. But she's still very pretty, and during her interview segment with West I got more than a little interested. Maybe she just reminds me a lot of the good years I spent in college, but I found her appealing in a girl-next-door kind of way. She does all the things you'd hope a girl like her would do. She sucks dick, agrees to any sexual position you suggest, and toughs out anal sex which she admits hurts too much to be enjoyable. And she also takes a facial, which would have been more impressive if not for Randy's penchant for blowing smoke. Her's is a good scene; not a great one. Yet, given the lackluster segments that accompany it, it's the best this disc has to offer.

I've gone on record as saying I enjoy watching Japanese cutie Amy Atakani have sex. I've also enjoyed Amytheist in the past when I've seen her in action. So, why did I not enjoy this scene in which they tag-team West? I'm not really sure, but I think it has something to do with them not really wanting to be there. Oh, they smile at the right moments, and the say the right things, but so do I when I'm trying to get something I want, or if I'm looking for a way to end a conversation early. This is what I felt going on here. They each blow Randy for a little while, and they each spread their legs for him for a few minutes, but that's about it except for the double blow job which brings him to an unimpressive finish. If West had hired another stud to do the deed, this might have been better.

Lastly, Jamie (one name only...like Cher) shows up to give Randy a hand job and to let him cum on her feet. She's not unpleasant to look at, but watching Randy West jerk off on some girl's feet is not my idea of a good time. There are fetishist out there, I know, who dig this kind of thing, but for the rest of us, it's a waste.

As for video and audio quality, remember that Randy shoots almost all his stuff in his house with his own camera and lights. So, expect home movie quality. And as extras go, you get a photo gallery, well implemented chapter stops and a couple of previews of other editions. In other words, nothing spectacular...much like the rest of the DVD.