Un-Natural Sex 13 Review

Reviewed by The Magus  on  12/27/2004

Katin skipping down the walk in a ridiculous costume. She is a born performer, and tells us she will perform double anal for the first time. Some silliness with a tiny dildo. Anal and DP begin, more silliness about strawberries crunching in her ass. Katin says her mom is a surgeon specializing in reconstructing assholes that have fallen inside out. This story ends any possibility of the DA having any erotic power. Lots of double anal, rimming, and non-stop silliness continue at a frantic pace.

Sandra Romain, in a candlelit alcove, says she had a strict Romainian childhood and remains a virgin. She then gets double analed and DPd for what seems like forever, all the while looking into the camera and proclaiming her virginity. Again a frantically paced scene.

Brian Surewood has a pet ass. Describes the caring and feeding of the pet ass. There is a bare ass sticking in the air that he fondles through the silliness. Any of her fans will recognize it as belonging to Lauren Phoenix. “Feed me the cock meat” the pet ass demands. Lots of anal occurs while the pet ass silliness plays on.

I am not sure what happens in the next scene. Isabel Ice says she needs rough sex, Chico prefers to call it intense sex. Immediately her head is pushed into a water filled children’s swimming pool. It will happen many, many, many more times. I am not sure why. It wasn’t the least bit of a turn on, even by rough, sorry, intense sex standards. She keeps screaming at the three dudes to make it rougher, they scream back at her, slap her, spit on her, and shove her head back in the water. A very frantic pace. More than one camera thrusting closeup of the monster-like face of Tony T, which is enough to give the heaves to a high percentage of wankers.

A further word about Tony T. He is completely out of control in this scene. It is not the roughness that disturbs (Isabel is a match for the guys), it is the downright idiocy. It is high time to exile Tony back to the cave or pre-school from which he emerged. He is downright embarrassing in this movie, and one must question Chico’s wits in employing such an idiotic slug.

“Hi. I’m Kat. And I want to eat your shit” So begins the next scene. Kat continues to describe her dream about eating Chico’s shit. Chico says they can talk about it, but they can’t actually do it in a movie. No doubt if he could, he would. He promises to do it later for her if she gives a good scene. Then Kat tells us it is her time of the month and will only be doing anal. A tampon is played with. She mimics Joel Lawrence. Raises her arms and says “augggh, nasty girl. Oh you’re such a whore”. She will say this throughout the buttfucking action. Kat licks Joels load off a clean tampon.

“Hi. I’m Trina Michaels. I’m 21, and I love creampies. So yummy!” Yea, sure. Actually this scene is a relatively mild DP fuckathon, if there is such a thing. Trina has got the energy, screams a lot, and looks totally exhausted at the end.

Vol. 13 is a complete misfire. The frantic pace never wavers. Tampons, wrecked assholes, pet asses, shit eating, childrens swimming pools etc. do not perk up wood. Pornography, first and foremost, is about turning people on, whatever the approach. Deep six the silliness once the serious action starts. Deep six Tony T.

Postscript: During the titles, and as interludes between the scenes, there are visually and aurally rapturous sequences of Kat playfully dancing in the waves. The music is hauntingly sad. Almost brought a tear to my eye. What is it doing here?