Ultimate Sexual Massage: G-spot & Genital Massage Techniques Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  10/5/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 54 min.

Production Date: 2003

Director: None credited

Cast: an uncredited couple or two and host Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Lover’s Massage was very nicely done. I’m looking forward to this one.

Initial Reaction: It’s another nicely done instructional release.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody who wants to learn some sexual massage techniques

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who wants an instructional movie that’s more about the instruction than the sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced, and although there was one background noise it was handled incredibly well and treated completely naturally. The video is a little more basic. It’s nicely lit and doesn’t have any awkward camera work, but it does have a hint of grain that gives it a big of a VHS look.

Music: The music has a soft feel and varies slightly in balance throughout the movie. It helps the movie almost the entire time.

Disc Complaints: The DVD authoring is very basic. To start with, there’s no time stamp, which means you’re limited to chapter breaks and scanning through most of the movie for navigating the DVD. The menus are also very rough, making you select each selection once to select it and then selecting it again to activate it. I hope these are just problems that are due to this being an early Alexander Institute release, but I’m not sure. There’s also a commercial for the Alexander Institute’s Intimate Loving series that you can’t skip past or even fast forward through. This always pisses me off, and I’m deducting a half point from the overall score because of it.

Menus: The menus are very simple. The both the main menu and the chapter menu clearly lay out the choices with a still behind them.

The Feature

When a brown haired dude gets home from work at Christmastime, his brunette woman meets him at the door in a little red lingerie with an early present, a massage video. They head up to the bedroom and put it in to watch together. So begins an educational exploration of sexual massage.

Dr. Zilbergeld starts the video out letting the viewer know that the goal of sexual massage isn’t orgasm, or even intercourse. Instead, it’s to feel good. There are a few steps that one should use to prepare, most of which were also covered in Lover’s Massage. After the basic preparation, more advanced techniques are covered. Unlike Lover’s Massage, which basically covered some basic massage techniques, this installment gives plenty of attention to the “naughty bits”. There are techniques covered for penis and pussy massage, as well as plenty of attention given to nipple massage. It starts out nicely with a lectured demonstration before backing off and going with a more fun and subtle method of showing the couple who started watching the video at the start practicing the techniques on each other, as well as trying a few things of their own.

Ultimate Sexual Massage is a nicely done sexual instruction video. It starts things out in a very positive and friendly way by having the woman greet her man at the door with the video, and nicely moves into the instructional phase of the movie with a very friendly feel by having the couple watch it together and occasionally comment on it. From then on, I have kind of mixed feelings. The instructional demonstrations are nicely done, but at the same time they seem fairly short and easily forgotten with how much the original couple work each other over. It also seems to move more into heavier foreplay with a lot of fingering than what many people might think of when looking for sexual massage. Ultimate Sexual Massage shows some nice techniques, but it also seems to go on much longer than what would be needed for what it covers.

The Extra Stuff

There’s plenty of sexuality information, which includes both a long question and answer section with Dr. Patti Britton covering many areas of sex as well as general sexuality information. A trailer is included for the Intimate Loving series which this DVD is a part of. There’s also trailers for the Soulmates series, Sex, Love, and Everything Else, and Sexual Healing. Finally, there’s a bonus scene.

Bonus Scene - Sunset Thomas, a guy, and chick

The bonus scene comes from More of What Men Want. While cuddling with Sunset, her man fantasizes about being with her and another woman. After they both have some funky dreams, they all play back and forth. The guy does both Sunset and the other chick as the girls eat each other before supposedly cumming inside Sunset and then waking up.

This scene did almost nothing for me. There’s some nice chemistry and enthusiasm once it gets started, but it takes so long to get to it that I had to constantly fight reaching for the remote. It’s also shot in an extremely artistic and soft style with a lot of stop motion that didn’t do anything for me. This is a scene that’s best skipped.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight and instructional

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of the Alexander Institute DVDs can be found online for between about $11 and $22, with most stores offering them near the top end. If you’re interested in giving your partner a sexual massage, this is a very nice movie to check out. The material is nicely presented and the technical aspects are pretty good. There’s even some decent effort put into the extras, although the overall DVD feels like it’s done by somebody who just evolved from swinging through trees. This is a DVD that shows some nice care along with a lack of technical ability to do it right.

Note to The Alexander Institute: Credits would be a nice thing. So would find somebody who can author your DVDs decently.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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