Topless Room Service Review

Distributor: New Machine Publishing Edition Details: Standard DVD Movie Specs: Genres: Feature Film Also known as: Topless Roomservice Run Time: 76 minutes Rated: XXX Release Year: 1998 Director: Stuart Canterbury Written by: Stuart Canterbury Cast: Brittany Andrews, Candy Hill (as Candi Hill), Sana Fey (as Sana Fe), Rebecca Wild, Jessica Jewel, Jena, Kyle Stone, Mike Horner, Michael J. Cox, Todd Alexander (as Dizzy) Release Specs: Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono Subtitles: none Video: Full Frame, 1.33:1 Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1 Disc: DVD 5 (SS, SL) Special Features: About New Machine DVD-ROM Special Features: none

Synopsis:
A bank manager is coming to the Hideaway Hotel and since the hotel manager needs to borrow money from the bank, the hotel manager wants him to have a perfect stay. The hotel manager convinces one of the female bellhops to pleasure the bank manager so the Hideaway Hotel can get the money it desperately needs to stay open. The bank manager has such a good time he tells everyone he knows about the services the hotel offers so the hotel ends up having to offer topless room service to all.

Video/Audio:
Topless Room Service is presented in the full screen aspect ratio, 1.33:1, which appears to be the original aspect ratio for the film. The video quality is relatively poor and the limitations of the source material can be easily seen. The film is plagued with video glitches throughout the presentation along with some rather bad pixelization issues throughout the film as well. Given the age of the film, the video quality should be much better.

The available audio track is a 2.0 English Mono track that is more than adequate given the obviously limited budget of the film. The dialog on the track is clear and can be easily heard and the only problem with the track is there is some background noise present throughout the film. No other language tracks and no subtitle options are available.

Chapters/Time Code:
In a bold decision by New Machine there is no chapter menu present on the disc. There are eleven chapters present in the film, which do a great job of breaking up the feature film. Why New Machine decided not to give the consumer a chapter menu is beyond me. There is a time code for the feature film, so time searching is available.

Special Features:
In another bold ploy, New Machine has decided to release this disc with no extras related to the feature film and only one “extra” that isn't related to the film on the disc. In an even bolder move, New Machine has also decided to announce on the box that there are previews present somewhere on the disc, but then forgot to actually put them on. The only “extra” present on the disc is an about the company screen which gives the contact information for New Machine. Most customers will find this extra to be very useful since it makes finding New Machine's phone number easy for when they want to call and complain about this disc.

Review:
In New Machine's continuing efforts to release their series of the worst porn flicks from the nineties comes Topless Room Service. To being with the plot is awful it is uninteresting and at times, painful to watch. While we are on the subject of things that are painful to watch, although the female cast members make great eye candy, acting is apparently not one of their skills. They are good at sex and although there are problems with the sex scenes, they are not a total waste of time.

The sex scenes end up being tame and formulaic. You can guess how each one will go before it starts with good accuracy. Even the scenes that look like they are going to surprise you end up falling to the formula. For example, one scene starts out with some decent underwater photography and promises to be a unique underwater scene, but then after some quick dick sucking, it's off to dry land for the participants. It's letdowns like these that bring this film down to the bottom level. Viewers who like nasty sex will be disappointed in the scenes too as they all turn out to be very tame, even the ones with anal sex in them. For viewers who care about such things, there are condoms used throughout the film. The sexual themes are vaginal, anal and oral sex with lesbianism.

The Money Shot:
New Machine has obviously hastily put together this disc and the end result is it doesn't offer much to the consumer. Standard features like a chapter menu have been omitted and promised extras are absent from the disc. This along with the poor video quality make this disc one to avoid unless you are a dedicated fan of the film or one of the stars, in which case you probably will want to rent this title first so you know exactly what you are going to end up with.

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