Threesomes & Then Some Review
Video 10
joeblow69's ratings for this movie:
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Reviewed by joeblow69 on 9/2/2002
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Starring: Vladislav Juracka, Marcel Manigati, Josef Cernan, Pavel Ondek, Michal Gola, Vit Pokorny, Pavel Porges, Ivan Plop, Pavel Vichera, Robin Lycka, Radek Holubar, Zdenek Valenta, Lukas Roubicek, Michal Dvorak
Story: Threesones and Then-somes is a compilation containing scenes from five different Euro flicks. The don't match any of the names to the faces, so I really have no clue who any of these guys are. Scene One, from "The Layover" Starring: Vladislav Juracka, Marcel Manigati, Josef Cernan Boy, right off the bat things are looking pretty boring. A really cute buff guy sucks off two scrawny twinky boys. He's very good at the standard Euro blowjob: he never seems to take more than an inch or two in his mouth. Eventually they switch over to fucking, but the camera angles really stink. Either it's a wide shot where you can't see anything, or an extreme closeup. Everything I've ever said bad about euro-porn is repeated over and over in this scene. There is zero passion here. Scene Two, from "Lettin' It Ride" Starring: Pavel Ondek, Michal Gola, Vit Pokorny After a very lengthy setup, two attractive guys start going at it in the back of some bar. Seems one of these guys lost everything in a poker bet, and the only way to get it back is to get fucked by two other guys. Well, at least all three guys here are relatively attractive. The action is pretty much the same as in the first scene, though. Mechanical sex, and closeups that last way too long. (I know what a dick looks like when it goes into someone's ass... I don't need to stare at a closeup of that for five minutes!) Scene Three, from "Fast Connection" Starring: Pavel Porges, Ivan Plop, Pavel Vichera Is this guy's name really Ivan Plop? What the hell? Anyway... this one starts out as a two way, with one guy sucking on a big dildo ( but only the first inch, of course). Also prominently featured is the dreaded Euro-tongue-fencing. Do these guys kiss their girlfriends like that? Eventually the third guy shows up ( wearing glasses! That's a first...) and they assume the standard threesome positions. I liked this one more than the previous two scenes, but I'm not sure why. It's probably because the guy with the glasses had a big dick, the jockstrap dude was hot, and we got to see a few glimpses of the third guy's gaping browneye. Scene Four, from "Riverboat Seamen" Starring: Robin Lycka, Radek Holubar, Zdenek Valenta Well, you generally can't go wrong with sailors, especially when they're wearing their cute little sailor outfits. Two of the sailors are big blonde guys, while the third is a smaller olive-skinned dude. The fucking starts right away, with the little olive boy getting stuffed at both ends with big Nordic cock. This is probably my favorite scene. Sure, it has a lot of the same problems the previous scenes do, but at least the guys here seem into what they're doing. Scene Five, from "Sexual Therapy" Starring: Lukas Roubicek, Pavel Vichera, Michal Dvorak Never take your lover to a sex therapist .... they always seem to think a threesome "right now!" will solve all your problems. The two lovers are decent looking, and the doctor has a nice big dick, but is in dire need of a haircut! Finally someone decides to mix things up a bit, and whip out a black buttplug and goes to town on one of the lovers. This is interesting for a little while, but drags on far too long (there is a nice gaping shot here, though). The rest of the scene is all pretty much EXTREME close-up fucking. Gee, as if I hadn't seen enough of that already... Audio/Visual Quality The video isn't up to normal DVD quality, but is still decent enough. I question their use of Techno as background music. For some reason, it just doesn't fit. (on a side note, I've never heard Satanic-techno music before. It's very odd to hear someone trying to convince you to "sell your soul" while you are jerking off to porn. To make matters worse, this "Sell your Soul" song is only about 3 minutes long, but looped over and over for the whole scene!) Extras Nope, no extras here. Sorry, maybe next time. Final Word Ugh. I really don't know who to blame here. Sure, the director shot way too many closeups, but the editor could have left a lot of that on the cutting room floor. I'm not convinced any of these guys are gay, so I guess it isn't really their fault that the sex is so damn boring. You'd have to pretty hard-core into the Euro scene to find much of interest here. Running Time: 105 minutes Send questions, and comments to: joeblow69@my.adultdvdtalk.com. |
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