Teens Like It Hard 2 (Hammer House) Review

Reviewed by Sean Renaud  on  7/26/2014

Heading In: I’m not really a huge fan of teen porn, it tends to be porn shorthand for ‘small tits’ and I like my girls curvy. It’s a weakness, though they are no where near universally bad especially if you can pick up the appropriate cuties and sexy ladies. Kristina Rose is an amazing performer, it’s hard to imagine her putting out a scene that’s less than stroke worthy. Nika Noire is another top notch performer Hammer House is a company I’m still not familiar with however and while I’m open to being impressed after nearly a decade of reviewing porn in one way or another I’ve found that if I don’t recognize a company that’s usually not a very good sign. So I’m

Scene 1: Nika Noir
I’m not big on feet at all, it’s one of the few fetishes that I just can’t even really fake and as cute as Nika is I’m not getting off on watching her suck her own toes even if they’ve been dipped in gummy bears. They’re still feet. If you can get around the fact that the scene has a lot of foot sucking and licking and ends with a cum shot over Nika’s admittedly cute toes in a bowl of gummy bears it’s a good scene. Yeah. . .sorry. Can’t do that.

Overall the thing is I just have a hard time dealing with feet, to me they are smelly and kinda funny looking and should never be put in your mouth or touching your genitals. Kinda kills it.

Scene 2: Kristina Rose

Kristina Rose is one of the cutest and sexist pornstars in the business right now and she can do it all, you want to play dress up with her like we do in this scene watching her try on different panties she can do it. If you want to choke her and spit in her face, she’s right there. The set up here is a bit long and drawn out but it actually works really well watching her try on different panties, sometimes they get dumped on her head, sometimes his. It’s a very original scene and it ends with Kristina sucking the cum out of a pair of panties.

Overall this is easily one of the most creative scenes I’ve seen in all of porn and Kristina’s energy just sells this above and beyond. Kristina Rose is fucking amazing.

Scene 3: Roxy Summer

Roxy Summer is almost the perfect little teeny bopper babe with her short shorts, oversized mildly tacky earrings and sunglasses most of which she keeps on for the beginning half of the scene. If all teen porn was about girls as cute as her I’d feel a little guilty about it but I’d still get off all day and all night to it without even thinking about adjusting my dial. She’s got that spunk that makes a teen pornstar so very special. To bad she just gets her booty waxed instead of taking a facial.

Overall this is a well put together scene, the downside is that it starts outside and the reality is that most porn producers don’t have the necessary skill set to deal with natural light. It’s not a deal breaker but I don’t think they went inside because it was too hot, and they really weren’t doing a terrible job I just have to find something to gripe about.

Scene 4: Timea

Okay, I have a weakness for pigtails, always have, probably always will. So this dark haired babe with the pigtails kinda had me at a simmer the moment the scene started. Sadly her tease could be used as a training video for what not to do. Timea starts out dancing to no music while a guy sits in the back ground cleaning car parts. We’re not given any reason why he’s ignoring the slut stripping or why she’s stripping and she’s not doing anything that needed to go on that long. I really love that she keeps her clothing on, her shirt is pulled down, her bikini top to the sides to free her tits, the bikini bottoms also shoved to the side so she can get a solid fuck.

Overall the scene may start out slow but it picks up pretty well and makes for a good way to end the movie.
Heading Out: Heading out I have to say that Hammer needs to get a better handle on the basics. I don’t normally get this huffy about extras but dear God you have to up your game. The girls bring their A games though and make this into a descent porn all things said, it’s just kinda hard to really get past the technical aspects. When I’m in the mood to jerk I’m usually looking for a particular part of the scene, maybe it’s Kristina with her head stuffed in a pair of panties while she sucks cock, maybe it’s Roxy Summer with her panties still around her thighs and her oversized glasses while she’s being fucked, what it isn’t is the opening tease and its also not something I want to use the fast forward button to get to. This isn’t VHS ladies and gents. It’s a mixed bag really.

Extras: We are well past the point in DVDs where it’s forgivable for a DVD not to cover the basics. I know this is labeled Extras and I usually use it to point out that pick your pleasure or a bonus scene is always a nice gesture but it’s also where I bitch that your scene selection doesn’t list the ladies by name. Fortunately this particular DVD has girls who all look very different and you get a pretty good look at their faces but that doesn’t erase the initial sin. It doesn’t change the fact that if I want to skip past the tease, or skip straight to my favorite position that it shouldn’t be a chore of using the fast forward button. This is basic shit