Teen Tryouts: Audition 5 Review

That’s about as complimentary as this reviewer will go with “Teen Tryouts Audition #5.” This is another collaboration of Wood and Brandon Iron, two fellas who give “guys” everywhere a bad name. It is a self-serving movie giving the guys a chance to demonstrate their immaturity and bad movie-making skills.

They open each of the five scenes with a little background about the girls. They are obviously very impressed with themselves as they smugly call the girls “sluts” or “cunts.” Just what I wanted to know before I watch the scene!

Very cute blond Buffy Van Norton has the distinction of starting the action with a clean-shaven Wood. Mark, the more of that face you cover with whiskers, the better! With dyed-blond hair, he goes through all the usual pseudo-rough stuff with Buffy – fish-hooking her mouth with his fingers, strangling, squeezing her small tits, etc. The facial is well-placed and leaves her a gooey mess. She doesn’t appear to have enjoyed the experience.

Blond Summer Breeze is next. She has large, natural boobs and a tailbone tat. Wood (with his goatee here) does anything but treat her like a lady and eventually drops a decent load on her face. Forgettable scene!

Euro brunette Sheila Rossi has some major stretch marks on her tummy. Fellow Euro Backey doesn’t even wait for a blowjob. He jumps right into doggie and pounds Sheila pretty good. So good, in fact, that he cums in about six minutes on her chest and mouth. Sixteen minutes and a few positions later, he drops more Euro sperm on her face. Average scene, at best.

Wood is back without his goatee and without any class. He roughs up Angel, a stringy-haired blonde who looks more like a soccer mom than a teen. She’s chubby, bald, and sports ink on her tit, tailbone, belly, and ankle. A facial ends this standard “T.T.A.” scene.

Iron finally gets in on the action with semi-cute blonde Kate Frost. They start with a very long conversation on a public sidewalk. She gets down on her knees and starts sucking his dick. Then they are interrupted by a neighbor who obviously isn’t a porn fan (or a Brandon fan) and are forced to run for their soon-to-be-incarcerated lives. They move indoors where there is more cock-choking oral from Kate. She slobbers quite a bit on her chest and doesn’t bother wiping it off when they move to a reverse cowgirl. Kate, whose huge tailbone tat ruins an otherwise nice body, endures lots of hair pulling, face slapping, and choking from Mr. (I use that term loosely) Iron before accepting a marginal facial. At one point, during doggie, he actually steps on her face. Now that’s erotic!

Okay, a couple points. One, the title of this series is redundant; a tryout IS an audition, nitwits. Two, most porn reviewers have commented at one time or another about a lack of passion or enthusiasm on the part of female performers. “No heat” is a common complaint. Well, can you blame the girls when they are being treated like this by goons?

Brandon, why not just call this junk what it really is – smut for junior high school boys. Thirteen year olds probably can get off watching girls being abused like this. Hard to believe anyone older than voting age – or anyone with a sister or mother - would be turned on. I pity society when the next generation of porn watchers grows up and treats women in this manner in the real world. “Guys” will get an even worse reputation than we already have.