Tease Me Then Please Me Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  10/29/2004

“Tease Me Then Please Me” is Mike Long’s exercise in abusing women, but it is barely convincing. Having girls beg and plead to get fucked gets a bit tiresome after a few minutes.

Each scene starts with the girls looking into the camera, talking dirty, telling us how much they want to fuck, all the while playing with themselves.

Long starts out with a whiney brunette, Isabel Ice, who sounds like she might be British. If so, the Queen can take her back. She’s heavyset with large, floppy boobs and a few unsightly tats. He slaps her, grabs her tits hard, makes her suck a dildo (instead of his dick!), sticks the dildo (instead of his cock) into her pussy, then cock-chokes her. Soon another stud, John Strong, enters and the guys DP the crap out of her (not literally!). They fishhook her mouth with their fingers and, in general, make her look anything but sexy. She does some A2M and gets choked severely before they unload on her not-so-sweet mug.

Things don’t get much easier for Roxy Jezel, a brunette who gets cock-choked so much she tears up and her mascara runs down her face (always a sexy look!). There’s the usual choking, face slapping, A2M, and a facial.

Pasty blond Michelle Barratt has some huge (natural?) jugs, and Long and Strong waste no time fucking the shit out of her. There’s some anal, DP, A2M, and an open-mouthed facial.

Very cute streaked blonde Teagan doesn’t get abused as much as her co-stars, but Long still chokes her a bit and fucks her pussy and ass like there’s no tomorrow. She gladly takes his deposit on her waiting tongue and obligingly swallows every drop. She’s a doll!

Stringy, brown-haired Katin is last, and she has to endure Long and Strong’s antics that include spanking, gaping, slapping, choking, DP, and a facial.

One gets the impression Long justifies all this abuse by offering his victims long, slobbery kisses every couple minutes. Like that’s going to make up for that slap to the face he just gave them? Does this show how much he really cares for them? I don’t get it!

The scenes are all extremely long (over 25 minutes), but the sets, lighting, and camerawork are all top of the line. No condoms were noticed. This is hot, hard sex not for the faint of heart (read: chicks).

The DVD extras include a Photo Gallery, Behind the Scenes, Photo Shoot, Cumshot Recap, Previews, Long’s Bio, Website info, and Bonus Footage, which basically amounts to 16 minutes of stuff we’ve already seen.