Tease (Cover Boy) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  9/15/2003

[Let me begin by stating that the names on the DVD cover and the names of the performers with their pictures on the DVD do not jibe. There is no Brock Thompson, unless he and Chet Hawkins are one and the same. Travis Young on the cover becomes Travis Connors in the film. In the previews for another film he is called Travis Young, but as he is losing his hair faster than the speed of light, Young seems something of a misnomer. And K. C. Hart does not—I repeat does not—appear in this film. The K.C. that appears here is a somewhat scruffy dark-haired dude, not the randy little twink also known as Wesley Parker who has appeared in over 50 films. In short, the only performers who appear to be listed correctly on the cover are Eric Stuart and Stretch Blackwell. The others in this primarily solo film got screwed.]

Eric Stuart is the valet in a posh hotel. He draws a bath for Chet Hawkins (or is it Brock Thompson?) Chris strips and steps into the bath. He has no pubic hair. Chet looks as though he may the grandson of Fred McMurray, the father on “My Three Sons”. He has curly black hair and very rosy cheeks. Either he has rosacea or Tammy Faye Baker did his make-up. He masturbates while a female singer is heard on the soundtrack moaning, “I like it. I like it,” suggesting that the film from director Crystal Crawford is more for a female than a male audience. Chet pumps his cock for an awful long time. Surely the bath water gets frigid. There is a great load when he cums but he certainly worked long and hard to get it.

Chet calls the desk and requests two tickets to an Elton John concert and wants Eric to pick up his laundry. Eric seems enamored of Chet’s undies and oddly enough decides to take a shower before lying on the bed whre he applys lotion to his legs, chest, butt, and cock. It’s quite a sensual setup for the solo we know will follow. He too appears to have little or no pubic hair. (I had visions of Crystal Crawford running around with a razor shaving everyone’s crotch.) The cum burbles out of his cock and runs onto his hand.

We jump to K C seated in an armchair. This K C is a dark-haired chap with a short beard, and a pierced ear. There’s a gypsy look about him. He’s rather sexy. He is wearing a chain necklace. He lifts his shirt to reveal a sunburst tattoo around his navel and a smooth chest. Down go the drawers and out comes the dick. Gee, this guy has pubic hair! He also has a nice dick. His stroking is slow and sensual. His cum shot is nice.

Chet, rosy cheeked as ever, is at the boss’ house. He has a laptop and is talking on the phone to Eric. He tells Eric he has received his email and suggests they get together for a threesome later that evening. He then takes out his monkey and spanks it. The monkey spits onto the camera lens.

It’s now troll time. Stretch Blackwell drives up to a friend’s house in a pickup truck. Finding no answer he calls the friend on a cell phone and is told the key is under the mat. Stretch lets himself in and takes a shower. Guess what? He has no pubic hair. There’s a dark five o’clock shadow where it was but Miss C has been at that razor again. Stretch finds a video, hops up onto the bed, gets the lube and chokes the chicken. This goes on for much too long. The fact that Stretch is not what one would call a handsome man makes it seem even more so. Time to hit the fast-forward. He cums…finally. Boring!

Eric is on the phone to an escort service asking for someone who is submissive and slim. He should have added attractive because what he get is Travis Connors Young.

Travis is in his late twenties and has odd tufts of hair appearing mid numerous bald spots making him look clown-like. He should shave his head. Bald is beautiful. Balding can be too, but not when one’s head looks like a desert with lonely date palms. The bad thing is that Travis can’t suck cock worth a damn. He’s supposed to be an escort but he sucks dick like Roseanne sings the National Anthem. It’s the old hand and curled lips bit. Eric has a great body and he deserves someone who appreciates it. What happened to the threesome he was supposed to have with Chet? That would have been a fitting conclusion. But this, the only duo, is weaker than any of the jackoffs—even Stretch’s. Even the fact that Travis sucks the remaining spooge from Eric’s dick doesn’t make this scene a winner. We were promised a threesome with Chet and get this instead. That’s not a “tease” it’s a downer.

There are no extras. Not even chapter entries!!! That sucks! What a crappy, careless, flighty, and indifferent job.

In order to have a successful solo film one has to have great-looking guys and some clever setups like the old classic ROCKHARD. Some of these guys deserve better. Viewers undeniably do.