Strap On Chicks: Bella's Bitches Review

What’s usually good about these movies? They’re a break from mainstream porn.

What’s usually bad about these movies? They’re often very low budget, which generally means ugly women who can’t use the advertised equipment, ugly men, bad lighting, bad sound, bad videography, bad lighting and bad editing.

Does this one follow suit? Not really.

Structure: 3 scenes or vignettes. Scene one implies revenge where a woman propositions and sexually dominates a bank manager. Scene two depicts role reversal where a female exchanges place and position with a male. Scene three involves a BDSM theme as well as role reversal.

Nine inch Deposit

Scene one begins with Bella Donna wearing a blue latex fetish dress and opera gloves along with black knee high fetish boots and a 9 inch strapon dildo. She’s sitting on a couch in a bank. Okay, it’s really a hotel room, but this is fantasy after all. Make believe, will ya? Anyway, the bank manager is speaking on the phone, but at this point there is no sound (probably due to the mike placement).

The manager smiles at Bella while she publicly plays with her strapon. Okay, you’re right! It’s more private - just the two actors and the video crew – see above. He finishes his phone conversation and calls Bella’s name, at which point the vixen rises and approaches the manager with her strapon hanging out and swaying rather ominously. Bella immediately takes charge by telling the manager to address her as princess. Shazam! The next thing we know, Bella’s kneeling on the manager’s desk and feeding him rubber dick.

After pumping her realistic cock (10 inches is realistic, right?) into his mouth and telling him to “choke on it,” we get to see Bella bend the manager over his desk, pull his pants down and penetrate him in doggy after loosening him up with her fingers. The bank manager becomes so aroused that he reaches back and pulls on Bella’s hips trying to get more of her, ahem, realistic looking dildo into himself. After she tires of looking at his shoulders, Bella has the guy flip onto his back and then remounts him. The manager appears to enjoy this, jerking himself while Bella plows him in mish. Next we have Bella lying on her back on the manager’s chair while he impales himself on her in cowboy. Bella urges him on by stroking his erection with her still gloved hands (this has gotta send the latex people wild). Then the guy is in reverse cowboy and stroking himself. After that, we have Bella reclining on the desk telling the manager to bite her (No, not that! On the inside of her thighs - geesh). This ends up with Bella removing her plastic prick so the guy can give her pussy some attention. At last, when Bella replaces the dong into her harness, the manager climbs back on for some more cowboy. Again Bella uses her clever hands to cause him to erupt onto her chest.

Good: watching Bella’s butt! Copious amounts of dirty talk.
Bad: I’m no fan of dildo sucking and there’s more than just a little in this vignette.

Fantasy fulfilled (According to Joey Silvera’s “Please 5” the majority of women share this fantasy)

Alyson is 18 and for her birthday gets to strapon fuck a guy. She says she’s excited, and hopes she doesn’t hurt him too bad! Me too .

The scene takes place in her bedroom. Alyson is wearing a pleated skirt and white thigh high stockings, her small gravity defying breasts are exposed. A guy wearing shorts and t-shirt enters scene, Alyson flips up her skirt, shows him her bare butt and wants to see his, so he strips and shows her. While standing on the bed, Alyson offers the guy his choice of positions. He defers to her, and she says “doggie.” After she removes her skirt, Alyson dons her large realistic strapon (this one’s only 8 inches or so) with a bit of help from the guy. Then, while she remains standing, Alyson jacks the strapon in order to cover it in lube. Her “gift” watches this activity closely from his seated position. Thankfully, there was no strapon sucking in the scene. It’s bad enough when the things aren’t lubed. Anyway, Alyson’s gift assumes the position, but strangely its missionary! Not to worry, Alyson penetrates him with one smooth, well lubed thrust of her hips (okay, she had to steady it with a hand on the base, but whose watching that?). Then, after an adjustment where she has the guy get closer to the edge of the bed so he’s more available, she slides back in and pumps her lifelike erection into him until she has him oohing and ahhing. Unfortunately, the oohing, ahhing, not to mention moaning groaning and other noises, quickly becomes extremely irritating.

Alyson’s freckled skin and pig tails belie her ability with a strapon. She shows us more of her ability when she has her birthday present lean over the edge of the bed and then bangs him from behind. Almost immediately, the infernal moaning starts with a vengeance! Fortunately Alyson looks very good grasping his hips and thrusting into him. She continues by having him lay face down on the bed. Alyson with her thighs straddling his, leans over the guy’s back and bangs away. Next Alyson has her “gift” climb onto her in cowboy. This shot unfortunately shows a very hairy guy with a slight paunch and blemishes on his sunburned legs. Wonderful. Change to cowboy; now we get to see a BHB (big hairy butt) and more pimples. Don’t fret, it’s almost over. Now, Alyson’s plastic appendage is buried in the guy’s butt and he’s jacking himself. Finally, and mercifully for anyone sick and tired of this guy’s yowling, the guy cums, hitting Alyson in the face and breasts with a pretty good blast. Naturally, the guy made enough noise to wake the dead before finally squirting.

Good: Alyson is both charming and very accomplished. She doesn’t hurt him at all, in fact if moaning is any evidence, he was feeling anything but hurt.
Bad: Um… think of the last cat you threw a shoe at.

Anger management.

Last up is a mistress/slave scene shot in a generic hotel room. It starts with Ryan Meadows, a tall girl with a waist length mane of dark hair, small breasts and long legs. She’s talking to us from a couch. She tells us she’s pissed at her “bitch” and that we should stick around if we get off on watching someone get the shit kicked out of them.

At this point, she has her male slave, whose head is enclosed in a pillow case, kneel and stretch out over a coffee table while she brandishes a fetish paddle. She tells him she’s pissed and why she’s pissed while smacking his butt with her paddle. If you’re not a fan of violence (and I’m not), don’t worry, the paddling is pretty superficial.

Next Ryan tells her slave she’s going to take him in the back and fuck him up (oh my!). And after twisting the pillow case around his head and giving him a few smacks on his bare butt, she pulls him into the bedroom and causes him to fall face first on the bed (amazingly, between the living room and bedroom Ryan manages to don her strapon while simultaneously dragging her slave – continuity? What’s that?).

After he recovers, our dominatrix tells her slave who’s quite a bit shorter than she, to lick her platform knee high boots while she lies back on the bed. He does, paying careful attention to her directions, but fortunately for us, not carefully enough to avoid being told to assume the position. She moves behind him in doggie, places the tip of her pseudo-male appendage against his opening and penetrates him with a thrust of her hips. There is an attempt to actually show the penetration, but it’s obscured by shadow. Once she gets her strapon in him, she smacks his butt on the assumption that he’s maybe liking what she’s doing too much. She fucks him in this position while yelling at him to stop pulling away. This continues with plenty of dirty talk and humiliation until she wears herself out. Then she has him lay on his side and mounts up in spoon (with a good penetration shot this time). Next we have missionary, where we get some good shots of Ryan’s shapely butt. At one point, she pounds him to the point where he sounds like he’s going to lose it. Her nice butt jiggling as she bottoms out in his ass. Then she announces she’s tired. After lying on her back, she tells him reverse cowboy would be good (yes, she spoke those actual words) and he obligingly impales himself on her rubber prick. Then he switches to cowboy where she pumps him from below before he shoots a very modest load onto her chest.

Good: There is plenty of verbal eroticism in this one to go along with the visual. The third of three girls has no problem using the equipment.
Bad: Possibly the most unflattering costume I’ve ever seen. Ryan is what used to be called statuesque – though she doesn’t have large breasts. Some sort of corset would be much preferable to a bikini?

I’m no expert on videography, but the effort made seemed pretty good. The sound level is not all that stable, so you might find yourself straining to hear what is said. The lighting is good for the most part. There was no music that I recall.

Extras: scene selection, web site and photo gallery

A note: I wrote the bulk of this review a couple of years back, but lost interest in both the subject of the review as well as the review itself. I still think it’s overlong, in need of an editor and lacking in enough humor, but I figured I’d just put it up as a break and for anyone seeking such a review.