Strap Attack 3 (Evil Angel) Review

Director

Joey Silvera

Cast

Jasmine Byrne, Lexi Love, Katja Kassin, Lauren Phoenix, Karina Kay, Morgana, Louze, Louna, Christian, Apollo Max, Jagger, Toden Novais.

Genre

Gonzo, Female to Male Strap-On

Condoms

Scene 2 has limited condom use.

Running Time of Main Feature

2 Hrs. 56 Mins.

Female Orgasms

1-2

REVIEW:
You know what one of the few problems with Joey Silvera is?  The man is almost too good.  I mean yeah, sure, there are a bunch of folks who probably don't like his brand of porn.  Offhand I can't imagine what the hell these people are thinking, but hey... that's me.  I suppose even Joey can get a bit formulaic at times, but let's face it, as formulas go, Joey has one of the most interesting ones in the business--if only because his very formula is simply the relentless quest toward role-playing-fueled spontaneity.  If it sounds nutty, it is, but that's exactly why it's so damn interesting.  As I was saying though, for me anyway, a Joey movie is not something you just pick up to have a good time with.  It's not a mindless Red Light romp where the acts are spelled out in the very title on the box.  Nor is it just two strangers coming together onscreen in a single-minded quest to fill in check-boxes and collect a paycheck.  

Joey's porn is born out of love, I swear to God--love of the women he works with, love of how the camera can make them look, and most of all, love of those tiny, magical interactions that happen between the performers in his movies.  If he didn't love what he did, there's no way he could make such a seemingly simple event like onscreen sex so mind-blowingly complex and beautiful--even when it's at its most brutal.  Joey is a thinking man's gonzo-master, and yet he manages to do it all by working on pure instinct.  And that brings me back to one of his most frustrating shortcomings--while his movies can and are extraordinarily rewarding, they can also be equally exhausting to watch.

Lauren Phoenix, Karina Kay & Christian

Speaking of exhausting--Lauren Phoenix pretty much needs no introduction.  She's a feisty, tall, blonde bombshell who has more than proven herself in some of the most insanely energetic wall-to-wall scenes I've had the pleasure of watching.  Karina is an impossibly cute girl with a fantastic smile and a body to die for.  We're just starting off in typical Joey fashion, as Lauren and Karina both play cheerleaders (only Lauren dresses the part, though) who've been in some way wronged by the football coach.  They decide to fuck him up the ass, and that's exactly what they do.  Christian is "resistant" at first, be he soon comes around to the girls' way of thinking, and eventually this turns into a cock sucking, pussy fuckin' round robin, where the positions are plentiful, and no dick is left unattended.  Both girls are well versed in the dirty talk, and hearing it come out of Karina's impossibly cute mouth just drives me batty.  Naturally she fucks Christian, and then she eventually rides him in a traditional cowgirl position before sidling up to sit on his face so she can squirt all down his cheeks.  

Lord have mercy!

It almost seems anticlimactic when Lauren starts feeding her strap on to Christian's ass, but of course the real climax is still to come when Lauren returns the favor and let's Christian into her own back door.  Karina keeps up with her terrific filthy talk, and both girls eventually end up sharing a facial.  This is a great scene with all sorts of little Joey-esque moments between the performers that demand 100% of your attention.  I must say, Joey is one of the few directors in porn who really gets the appeal of the female to male strap-on dynamic.  It's such a tricky thing to get right without becoming boring, or just plain ugly--and yet Joey seems to have no trouble at all with it, and Christian totally gets it as well.  MAN, I wish it could have been me in this scene instead.  ::sigh::  This is excellent stuff.

Morgana & Apollo Max

Morgana is a Brazilian blonde who looks damn good.  She has a great body, braces on her teeth and HUGE fuckin' thighs.  The better to dominate you with, I gather.  And dominate she does, gentle friends.  She meets up with Apollo, an attractive young man, and he licks at her pussy for a while before she grabs a strap on, covers his eyes with her hand and hand feeds him what will become her dick.  When she finally puts it on, she really starts to lay down the law when she starts squat face-fucking him while he's on his back, all while calling him a "good boy". She gives him a bit of head as well before the main event starts.   She butt-fucks him deep and doggy while wrapping her arms 
around his neck as if choking him.  It's amazing stuff to watch.  Finally Joey asks her to orgasm and she obliges by laying back on the bed and fingering herself until she comes.  Apollo comes shortly afterward--shooting on her lips and chin.  Although not quite as overall "wow"-inspiring as the first scene, this one definitely had its moments, particularly when Morgana really hunkered down to fuck her man like a bitch.  Once again, Joey gets it.  He really does.

Katja Kassin, Lexi Love & Jagger

Katja is gorgeous and boxom.  Lexi is gorgeous and petite.  I have absolutely NO complaints about how each of these girls look.  Apparently we are now at the "Hollywood Strap On Learning Center" where Lexi is working to "earn her strap-on".  She'll do this by proving she knows how to suck and fuck a cock like a pro.  She does that and then some--including giving both Katja and Jagger some deep throat, and then stepping over Jagger to let him fuck her cowgirl.  And not to worry, she learns how to talk the talk as well, explicating exactly what she's going to do to Jagger once she earns her rubber dick.  Needless to say, she succeeds in acquiring one and puts it on while Jagger gags on Katja's.  They both eventually give him a good fucking--some of it is beautifully deep and hard, complete with nasty talk and role-reversing banter.  Finally, another fantastically exhausting scene comes to a close when the girls share a facial.  Mmm.  Mm.  M.   Yummy.  

Fuck.  There's no way in hell I can face Jasmine Byrne in this condition.  No fuckin' way!  I gotta take a damn break.  ::shaking fist in the air::  Fuckin' Joey!

Jasmine Byrne & Christian

My God.  Jasmine Byrne.  What an amazing looking girl.  She's dressed to the nines in an outfit that sort of defies description.  Needless to say, she looks as good as she ever has, and that's saying alot.  Fire engine red heels, a short pin-striped skirt, and a big black cock underneath it.  She's a nurse today and she's here to make a house call for Christian who, unfortunately for him, can't win with Jasmine no matter what he does.  This is one of those rare scenes that makes me tingle--it almost makes me proud to be a shameless porn-hound.  Jasmine dominates, verbally abuses and slaps the shit out of Christian in this scene--making him call her "Miss Jasmine" and in essence methodically leading him through the motions of what it's like to be a little anal porn slut.  It's as close to the perfect male/female strap-on scene as I've ever scene (at least according to my somewhat unusual tastes) and moreover, Joey couldn't have picked a better or more gorgeous girl to act it out for me.  Jasmine makes Christian suck her cock.  She fucks his ass without mercy.  She absolutely smothers his face with her cunt, and in the grand finale, she finally lets him fuck her up the ass in return.  The final cumshot is a smidge disappointing, only because the cum doesn't really land anywhere interesting, but that's a tiny quibble about what I think is probably my favorite strap-on scene to date--and you may not know it, but I've seen a LOT of 'em.  Thank you Jasmine for just fucking going for it--what a beautiful, brutal, and yes... even tender performance.  Christian, your a God damn lucky bastard, even if you have the red marks to prove it.  

As for me, yet another brief siesta is in order, I'm afraid.  ::Exhausted groan::

Louze, Louna & Toden Novais

We're back in Brazil and both Louze and Loune are damn cute, I must say.  Loune has gorgeous, natural, big breasts and a great body.  Louze has gorgeous tan-lined, little breasts and an equally great body.  They walk down the street together and encounter a heavily muscled man who whistles at them.  They decide to stop and harass him.  It's all in their native language, so I don't know what they're saying, but it's not hard to ascertain their intentions to give him a taste of girl-dominance--Joey style.  That promise is fulfilled when they get him into more private quarters and blindfold him and tape his wrists together. They take turns sucking his cock and stepping on him with their dangerously sharp heels. They spit in his mouth, they sit on his face, and of course, they pummel his worthless ass with a couple of strap-ons.  The scene ends up a tad less interesting than it started off, but they still give him a thorough fucking before it's all over. He never gets to return the favor, but Louza squirts, thanks to help from Louna's tongue, and finally Toden jerks off onto Louna's big breasts.  This is a darn good closer to a damn good movie..

EXTRAS:
Extra Footage : 11 Mins. There's a fantastic post-scene interview with Jasmine here.  You're fuckin' killin' me, girl!  Get OVER here--NOW!
Cumshot Recap
Cast List By Scene
Photo Gallery
Cast Videographies

OVERALL:
Female to male strap on is tricky tricky business.  I've seen some of the more "educational" attempts at this genre (Bend Over Boyfriend, et al) and for the most part, found them to be boring boring boring.  Then again, I don't need the education.  I get it.  I get it big time.  I can't praise Joey enough for bringing his own wonderful instincts to this sadly underrated pornographic niche.  There's just absolutely nothing like seeing a beautiful, sexy (preferably tiny) girl stick it to a man like he would stick it to her if given half a chance.  Despite what you newbies to the genre may think, female to male strap on isn't about homosexuality.  It isn't about the ass.  It isn't even about the guy.  It's simply another amazing expression of sexuality between a man and a woman.  I admit that for me, I think it does have a little to do with pussy-envy, but frankly my erotic mind is such a mess of conflicting stimuli that trying to analyze the how's and why's of what turns me on is nigh on impossible--and honestly, what does it matter anyway?  

I liked each and every scene on this disc, and at no point did I feel the need to fast-forward.  Gorgeous girls were in abundance, the guys who truly understand what this form of sexuality is all about are rare, and Christian leads a quartet of them here.  The movie was a pleasure to watch from start to finish, and for that reason, it's getting four and a half stars.   On the other hand it also took me fuckin' THREE DAYS to get through it, and more than anything right now, I really need to take a nap.  

G'night, pervs!

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


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