Straight Naughty College Students 5 Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  12/28/2003

Above the title STRAIGHT NAUGHTY COLLEGE STUDENTS, we find “International Amatuer [sic] Adult Video Presents”. That misspelling is indicative of the ineptitude involved in this project. In this slipshod effort wherein 11 Canadians sit on a black leather sofa where they are interviewed before appearing magically stark naked to watch a straight porn video and jackoff, the camera angles change through a series of dissolves and cross-fades about every 30 seconds or so. Not only does this distract from the action, but after a time it makes the viewer extremely woozy. Added to this is a moronic dweeb who zips in front of the camera from time to time. He seems to think that if he moves fast we won’t notice him. WE DO! The chicken chokers are all from Toronto, a wonderful city I lived in for five years. They are a varied lot. And even though the production values suck we do get the chance to see some fine Canadian cock.

Here is a brief run-down:

1. Chad Dickson – glasses, fleshy bod, tattoo, pierced navel, shaven crotch (Do straight guys do this?) He has a unique masturbatory technique: rub, shake, and swivel. (The moronic dweeb makes the first of his marathon runs in front of the camera during this scene.) Nevertheless, Chad manages to fire off a good load.

2. Dante – nice smooth bod. Way too many cross-fades and dissolves to change angles during his scene. As a result they missed his cum shot.

3. Jean Baptiste – a great bird’s nest of curly hair, a thick mustache and goatee. He speaks very softly and mumbles so his interview is a total washout. He has a slender body with reddish pubes and an average dick. He uses both hands to jerk off and gets up on his knees on the sofa to shoot his load. It takes an eternity.

4. John – a BIG boy. Lots of flesh. He has a lightly haired chest. The hair above his ample cock has been closely cropped.

5. LEO – The only truly memorable guy here. He is one sexy dude with plump juicy balls. He could make it in porn. (At any rate, he could make it with me.) Unfortunately his scene is short. He sends a flying spurt between his pecs.

6. Michael – Greek descent. Beautiful body. We miss his cum shot. Probably came when that idiot was crossing in front of the camera.

7. Phil – originally from Jamaica. Has dreadlocks and a mustache-goatee. Incredible body and an even more incredible cock. 11 inches? 12”? His ejaculate consists of just one tiny drop of sperm. (Maybe the rest missed the express and had to walk that long distance.)

8. Rex – the only one not in his twenties. A real turnoff because of his personality. He thinks he’s hot. He’s not!

9. Steve- scruffy, cute, and sexy. Lightly haired chest, nice cock.

10. Will – very “cute”. Hair between his pecs. Didn’t see a cum shot. Maybe he came and they missed it. That would be par for this film.

11. Nick – cute. Slender bod, a speck of hair between his pecs. Great set of balls. Really big dick. He took eons to cum. Feared he might pull it off.

So, eight of the guys are okay. One is porn material. It’s the amateurs (or as they would have it “amatuers”) behind the camera that fuck things up. Also, if they want really hot Canadians they should film in Quebec. But first get a director, editor, and cameraman who know how. Gee, this is the fifth film in the series and they still don’t know how!