Stone Cold 1 Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  1/23/2005

“Stone Cold” left me stone bored. This is the Lee Stone Show, and the muscular stud never lets you forget it. He repeats incessantly “Welcome to MY world,” like we’re to believe all these chicks go out of their way to fuck him.

Stone also likes to show off his steroid-built muscles by fucking the girls in positions most normal guys wouldn’t try with a blow-up doll. His acrobatics are distracting if not envious. There is terrible audio throughout the flick, which is probably a good thing because Stone and his ladies all sound like junior high schoolers when we can hear them.

The first two scenes (first with Jasmine Lynn and Haley Page, then with Mason Storm) start outdoors then move indoors, which could be a distraction for some viewers. The third, with Devon Michaels, is captured completely outdoors. The final scene has Roxy Jezel and Sophia dressed as schoolgirls. Anybody buying that one?

Another complaint I have with this (and, to be honest, most all porn today) is the constant gaping. Put your dick in, stroke a few times, then pull it out for a close-up of her gaping orifice. This, in my opinion, is not fucking. It’s a circus sideshow. It’s repetitive and boring!

The girls are all B- and C-listers. Even perpetually cute Jasmine Lynn looks unspectacular here. Roxy Jezel is cute and has a terrific body, one that unfortunately is marred by one of the worst back tattoos in history. Devon Michaels has a very athletic body, but that’s where the compliments end. Mason Storm is, well, probably nice to her dog.

On a technical note, Jasmine and Haley are misidentified during the opening credits. Sloppy! There is a Photo Gallery included as an extra on the DVD. No condoms were used.