Sport Fucking 5 (Jules Jordan Video) Review

Reviewed by Jake Blade  on  8/31/2009

Pound for pound Erik Everhard is the hardest rooter in porn. The little man loves to hammer, and when he opens up the check book to hire a girl for one of his movies he does so with a smile knowing he is going to get plenty of fuck for his buck. His Sport Fucking series is now in its 5th edition, and this volume could quite aptly be titled Everhard Fucks Them All, as the racing snake punishes another six victims in characteristic fashion.

Jenaveve Jolie
We open with a typical Everhard scenario with him and his mate Jimmy talking a lot and not being overly humorous. Everhard has obviously picked up a dog since his last movie, and the tiny bitch must be happy to find a home since its stay at the RSPCA after being confiscated from Paris Hilton. The reward for sitting through this jocularity is the vision of Jenaveve Jolie at the door in a powersuit after Priss the almighty beast sneaks out of the apartment. Jenaveve is a pure unadulterated honey, and the type of babe that has teenage boys experimenting with a variety of lubes, furniture items, and freshly baked pies. Once the A-grade acting comes to a close and Jenaveve does what she does best at the 11 minute mark, the little man imposes himself face first into her crack and never looks back. The exotic beauty is a fine body of work, with a sexual athlete’s rig and set of bolt-ons that just don’t quit. As is Everhard’s way he puts the beard on early and then opens his mouth and shuts his eyes, and with his characteristic fuck face on he pounds the shit out of Jenaveve until it looks as if he has spent the last hour in the sauna with the jockey trying to strip down for a ride on a lightweight in the last at Hollywood Park. While Everhard is always a force, Jeneaveve matches everything he gives and adds more, proving that she has quite the bed manner. Even if you don’t like Everhard and his sambuca bottle shaped racing snake you should watch this scene for Jenaveve’s performance as she is remarkable. Unfortunately Everhard hasn’t got much of a ball bag because when Jenaveve decides to turn on the charm she gives the scrotal zone the kind of lip service we all dream off, but the quality of her work isn’t truly appreciated given the lack of plum size for her to suck on. Quite simply this girl is amazing. If you were a cowboy and on walking into the saloon saw this whore primped up at the top of the stairs you would throw her over your shoulder and ride your horse until you could ride no more, knowing you had the best damn woman in town to abuse at the end of your journey. At 54 minutes this scene is a beast, but it is fucking good.

Heather Starlet
Heather has a young innocent blond look happening, and to open things up she applies some lip gloss while Everhard drosses on with the camera. When he pulls out some one of his Ass Obsessed movies for her to watch the public scenario gets Heather’s wheelhouse turning, and when Everhard challenges her to be the bad girl she is soon wearing black and looking for love. From here Everhard takes over and it is one of his characteristically similar scenes with furious pussy eating and never ending energizer bunny type fucking. Heather is a tall natural blonde with small boobs, and she takes the ferocity well, squealing her way through and even riding the cock with vigour when she gets on top. Typical Everhard here.

Charlie Lynn
This young blonde has the curves to make teenage boys feel lightheaded, and when she rocks up at château de fat cock looking for a gig in a reality TV show, its obvious that stripping down and baring your ass cheeks is a nice way to go about getting the job. But Everhard is no dummy and when he gets the opportunity to dive face first in to Charlie’s well maintained cooch he does so with his usual gusto. The unaltered c-cups on Charlie are naturally sexual and as she lies back while being punished with the sambuca bottle by the little man with the open mouth she looks damn fine. For variety they move up the stairs to Everhard’s workbench. Once again the hate plough shows no mercy, jackhammering the pussy like he is trying to fuck it into next week.

Sarah Vandella
Well this blonde bombshell has it all. Tits, ass, and a face you could wake up beside knowing you could do it all again. After some solo time in the bubble bath working the pleasure spot, she is still a bit frisky so she tracks down Everhard on the couch and shows off some of her inherent talents. After the opening blowjob and tit wank in POV, it’s a shame Everhard hands the camera over to Jimmy for the rest of the scene, as watching Sarah’s pretty face suck the balls up close is a great sight. But its no wonder Everhard wants to stick his face into Sarah’s crack, and after his usual pussy eating to start off he gets down to the business of sticking the racing snake to the pretty girl. From couch to stairs to bed, it all looks good as Sarah has her face and pussy fucked intermittently. With less talk, lots of action, and only running 32 minutes this scene is a good one, and watch out for the sweet cheeks of Sarah Vandella to be opened up in Ass Worship 11 for her anal initiation.

Madeline Marie
Tall, tanned and glamorous, the gorgeous Madeline Marie shows all the traits of a girl who had the potential to be a runway model, but decided to use her god given talents to fight crime instead. She makes the shithouse manufactured beats listenable during her opening striptease, and once she is at the top of the stairs with her bra and g-string exposed, the Canadian Cornholer steps in and is all over her like a cheap suit. As he usually does with the beauty queens he puts the beard on early and the viewer has to endure a growling sequence that does little to inspire one handed worship. But this girl has a crack that is lined with magnets, and it would be an exceptional man who wasn’t drawn in to face plant himself between the sweet cheeks. Once they move to the bed it is a typical Everhard performance, continual energetic pounding, pussy munching, and forceful movements that seem to be inspired further by the fact that Madeline is quite prepared to suck the pussy juice off his cock but isn’t really interested in kissing. Madeline Marie, well she is a glamour, and while she doesn’t dirty talk or have too many tricks she gets into character and does everything you would want a pretty girls to do without really blowing your mind. She doesn’t have to be great because she is gorgeous, but this is a good fuck and she finishes off the cock by hand which is a thousand times better than watching a dude jerk off for the climax.

Shannon Silva
Another leggy blonde who turns up on the Angry Ant’s doorstep with an ass that seems to be awfully tight in jeans. The topdeck hair color and the tan look good, and when the little man steps out to get a coffee Toni Ribas turns up and is all over here like a cheap suit. Shannon can’t say no to the Spaniard and she is soon dropping the jeans so Ribas can stick his face in her crack. When Everhard gets back they are obviously two parts into a spit roast and he squeezes in to the role of the third wheel easily. With Ribas and Everhard hammering away this seems to be quite an initiation for Shannon, and the girl looks a little overpowered at times even though they have toned down their usual antics. She is hot and she does have a good dip at both cocks. For those that like to see genuine shock and uncertainty on load management flashing across a girl’s face when an exploding cock is going off, then the finish hear will make its way into the wank bank.

In Closing
Everhard’s work is an interesting case study. The man produces regular movies with outstanding castlists but is never critically acclaimed in the style of Darkko, Jordan, H., or Sin. So what is holding the little man back? It could be a combination of many things. While I have never met the man, and would genuinely enjoy a chance to have few beers and see how much of a joker he is, he can come across as downright annoying. His scenes are often too long and repetitive, some of the scenarios are just lame, the camerawork moves around like the audience has the attention span of a blow fly, and now he has added a poofy little dog into his repertoire that he either borrowed off a pillow biter, or stole from a dim witted movie star as she was at the gas station filling up the SUV. But through all this I just can’t say no to his movies due to the babes he has involved. And there in lies the beauty of his work. While that sounds like a backhanded compliment he should be awarded for bringing new babes into the porn world and giving them a pounding. I don’t know if he finds them on Myspace or hanging around the Staples Centre, but he finds them. If the Jenaveve Jolie and Sarah Vandella scenes don’t have you falling asleep with Vaseline between your fingers and a hand full of crispy paper towel then go and get yourself some Stag videos.

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