Sperm Splattered 4 Review

Reviewed by gonzoguy  on  8/27/2007

Five ladies, five scenes. All the focus is on oral hijinks, mostly the girls polishing wood, but occasionally one of the guys giving in to some genuine muff hunger. D-Snoop, for instance, dives his head into the backside a couple of times, and I'm thinking, You go, guy. Here's how it runs down:

Scene 1: Fayth Deluca with D-Snoop, Johnny Fender, Swiss, and Arnold Schwarzenpecker. A cute blonde with a bit too much mascara, she works the boys to a nice facial -- first on the left cheek, then a straight-on shot followed by one to the right cheek and eyes, and lastly, Snoop (I'm guessing here, because his face is missing from the picture) painting her forehead and right cheek.

Scene 2: Ricki White with D-Snoop, Johnny Fender, Lefty and Arnold Schwarzenpecker. A mousy brunette, Ricki avoids the oral hardware that many women seem to sport these days, opting for a tiny gem to the right of her upper lip. Diamons for breakfast, pearls for dinner. The boys baste her well, first face-on, then two from either side, and lastly more to the forehead from the mope (Snoop?) I came to call the Painter.

Scene 3: Kayla Marie with D-Snoop, Johnny Fender, Juan Cuba and Arnold Schwarzenpecker. She does a little tease dance, then blows one guy to climax before moving on to the other three. She's not all that hot on the idea of getting her face plastered, holding her lips tightly together and her hair back (hey, girl, it's cream rinse) as she gets a load from the right side, a gusher to the left side and across her nose and into her eye, and then the Painter on her left cheek and chin. "Can I hit the shower?" she asks when it's all done. By all means.

Scene 4: Chelsie Rae with D-Snoop, Lee Bang, Johnny Fender, and Arnold Schwarzenpecker. What a cutie Ms. Rae is, taking hard cock as far back as she can, throating Bang, dangling her head off a sofa to let the boys drive her throat. Then it's time to face the music. The first blast hits her forehead, crosses her nose; the second deliveryman fires four jets off her nose, the third hits her forehead, right cheek and chin, and the last gets some nose and cheek. She's looking good when they get done, and what they got done is quite a bit for four guys. Hey, who needs a dozen?

Scene 5: Claire Danes with D-Snoop, Joe Blow, Johnny Fender and Arnold Schwarzenpecker. Claire has a great set of tits, puts them to work on her guests, and gets a full face-load from the four ... hey, a fifth shooter snuck into the picture? Where did he come from -- the grassy knoll? Oh, well, more sauce for the gander.

Extras: Includes a Cumshot recap, nicely accessible by scene; Behind hte Scenes, a Photo Gallery and Website Access.

Summary: The multiple cumshot facial is stock material, and most directors shoot it like that's the goal of the guys in the scene, to pop a facial. Maybe life imitates art, but I always fancied a nice, gooey facial as the result of a girl going hog-wild on one, two or even a dozen guys. she wants dick. They fuck her. She sucks them. The cum starts flying, and, well, a lot of it lands on her face, down her throat, dripping down her chin onto her chest. It's just what happens when you're having a good time, right? Well, this and other blow bang flicks dispense with all that fiction about group craziness (the sort of thing you see in the John Thompson German Goo Girl flicks), and go straight to the facial. I'm a fan of the monster facial, and found much to like here, but the direct-to-plaster approach does leave out a lot that could add to the heat. For instance, which of the guys working this DVD didn't seriously want to fuck the women they were working with? In the real world,while she was sucking their buddies, wouldn't they be fighting to get at some pussy, instead of standing around stroking their pokers until her mouth came back around? Good porn creates an alternate -- if fantastic -- reality. Pretty good porn, like this, asks us to suspend a lot more disbelief. Still, the ladies (except for Kayla Marie, who should quickly find another profession) look lovely with cum-coated faces.

Stroke on, Garth.