So I Married a Pornstar Review

Reviewed by vodka tonic  on  12/29/2004

Director : Paul Thomas
Cast : Mercedez, Natasha Dolling, Jesse V., Tony Tedeschi, Chris Cannon, Steven French, Mario Rossi

DVD Extras : Chapter selection, positions room, behind-the-scenes, bloopers & outtakes, bonus clips, photo gallery, weblink, multi-angles

2 Bonus Clips :
Mercedez & Mario Rossi (exclusive unreleased scene)
Mercedez & Chris Cannon (exclusive unreleased scene)

Behind-The-Scenes extra : There are actually 3 BTS in this edition. 1st is the making of the cover shoot, a really glamourous & flattering portrait of the beauty called Mercedez, in the "Vivid Girl Extras" menu. In the same menu, you'll find a 7-minutes long "Bloopers & Outakes" segment, then the official BTS in the usual "Bonus Room". The docu is actually a countdown to Mercedez' 1st scene, interspersed with various moments of the shoot. You can see Mercedez observing Natasha & Mario's romp from the sidelines. She comes out as grounded, pleasant & professional, and of course insanely beautiful.

Short Story : When he fell in love with an exotic dancer, Steve should have known the path to marriage wouldn't have been paved in gold. But Felicia is a woman full of secrets, and the biggest one of them involves another man's penis, a camera crew and a model release. How can she tell her husband that he married a pornstar ?


SCENE BREAKDOWN :

1) MERCEDEZ & TONY TEDESCHI

Mercedez steps out of her bath and sashays into the bedroom, teasing Tony who lies in the adjacent bedroom. Still moist, she grabs a a big dildo and pulls a little show for him, before stooping by the bed to put his penis in her mouth (at first with a little bit of champagne on top, which seems to hurt Tony like hell !). He takes her in missionary while she's laying on her side, her full bosom on display. Mercedez's implants are stightly too big, but trust me, you'll get used to it. They switch to doggy for a while, then he comes on her scrumptious butt.

2) MERCEDEZ & STEVEN FRENCH

Mercedez & Steven are shooting a scene on a porn set. Action ! She sits on Steven's head for some pussy-licking. Her moans sound fake, but hey, she's in character ! It all lasts 10 seconds before he takes her in doggy, with the camera firmly focusing on Mercedez's gorgeous figure throughout. The colors are warm, if a bit orange. They switch to scissor. Mercedez keeps her eyes closed the whole time, which sends the audience back to an advice given to her in the BTS on how to keep focused on her pleasure. Remember, this is Merc's 1st performance. She does look like she enjoys it, but she's not the screaming type, as proven later in her career. They move on to cowgirl before he, too, comes on her butt (who wouldn't ?)

3) NATASHA DOLLING & MARIO ROSSI

Once again on a porno set, Mario energetically plunges into very cute, natural blonde Natasha without any further ado. He keeps her leg up in the air for the scissor, her firm & supple boobs flopping away under his thrusts, then they move to doggy. Natasha has pierced upper labia as well as nipples. Mercedez comes into the scene to lap at Natasha's rump as the latter finishes Mario into her mouth, when Tony storms into the room and interrupts this very lovely threesome.

4) NATASHA DOLLING & CHRIS CANNON

Natasha, dressed casual in a sexy denim mini-skirt and a tight tank top, towers over a staircase to tease Chris, showing him a boob, lifting her skirt. Chris steps up to take matters into his own hands, or should we say fingers, as he enthusiastically probes her twat. Soon enough Natasha drops her skirt, only to keep her thin studded leatherbelt, and swallows his manhood. Great low angles, and Natasha looks gorgeous throughout, flattered by a warm photography. After some reverse cowgirl, they move to the couch for the doggy before she jacks him to release.

5) MERCEDEZ, NATASHA DOLLING, JESSE V., TONY TEDESCHI & MARIO ROSSI

A masked orgy takes place in a candlelit room. Do not fear. Though dim, the lighting is good enough that you won't miss a bit. On a couch, Natasha & Jesse take care of Tony while Mercedez gives oral attention to Mario on the opposite side of the room. Director Paul Thomas alternates group shots with singled-out close-ups, and it takes his talent for the scene never to lose focus. The sex is warm and friendly, but too professional, and the scene itself, a revenge fuck, is a bit tarnished by its context, as opposed to the rest of the movie, which was all very sex-positive. I sound like an old hippie. This is a not a review for « Different Strokes ». Still, great lighting and gorgeous players make it a nice, if unnecessary, epilogue.


THE LOWDOWN : There’s a moment in "So I Married a Pornstar" when Mercedez tries to get rid of Tony before a shoot, making him believe she’ll stay at home preparing meals for him and playing the ideal housewife, that made me laugh out loud. How often does that happen in a XXX comedy ? To this day, I still cannot understand why Paul Thomas decided to hide under his Bo Edwards pseudonym for this very entertaining feature. The acting is way above the usual level (special mention to Mercedez, delicious as the smut queen caught between an oven and a hard dick) and the story never loses pace or focus, making it a rare back-to-back enjoyable viewing experience. The sex is not groundbreaking, but with such hotties as Mercedez & Natasha strutting their stuff, it would take a very jaded male audience to hit the fast-forward button. Ideal for couples and the single man in search of a story (and a capably delivered one at that) to spice up his smut, "So I Married a Pornstar" comes with my highest recommendations. Go ahead, watch this movie !