Smudge Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  4/16/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 134 min.

Production Date: 6 / 15 - 17 / 2004

Director: Rod Fontana

Cast: Catalina, Gen Padova, Desire Moore, Amanda Starr, Lain, John West, Rick Masters, Valentino, Scott Lyons, Dirty Harry, Dino Bravo, Burke, and Rod Fontana

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: The only thing that gives me much hope here is Gen Padova.

Initial Reaction: I’m so happy with the guy who invented the fast forward button I’d almost consider giving him a sponge bath with my tongue and apologizing for not having a towel.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody who thinks throwing up is sexy

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who thinks sex should be enjoyable

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are okay. The audio is a bit muffled, and some of the dialogue was hard to make out. The level also seems to vary slightly, which makes it even more difficult to make out at times. The video is also okay. It has just a hint of grain, some very noticeable pixelation, and the lighting in some places leaves a lot to be desired. There’s a lot of shadows and they definitely interfere with the action.

Music: The music comes and goes. Some scenes have music and some scenes have none. When there’s music, it’s pretty familiar music and it’s pretty well balanced with the rest of the audio.

Menus: The menus are thoroughly unimpressive. The main menu has a bit of animation that didn’t do anything one way or another to impress me and seemed to take forever to let you make a selection. The chapter menu is extremely generic and just lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a scene number.

The Feature

Smudge collects five scenes which are unrelated except the girls all get their makeup smeared up while getting fucked. There’s normally a little lead-in for each scene, but it’s never something that takes too long to get through.

Scene 1 - Desire Moore, Dino Bravo, and Dirty Harry

When her husband can’t pay his gambling debts, Harry and Dino go to his hot blonde wife Desire to try to collect. She wants offers to try working something out with them, and soon after the guys are smearing her makeup up, working her over orally, and making her take Harry’s cock. Harry plays with her holes from behind while Desire sucks Dino’s dick before fucking her pussy. He lets her climb up for a reverse cowgirl ride before she moves over to ride Dino in the cowgirls. Finally, she gets down to suck the guys before crawling around while they beat their meat furiously as they work themselves up to giving her a double facial.

This scene didn’t do anything for me. It started out with a dickhead feeling, and with the way the guys played it the scene never lost it. The smeared makeup look also does nothing for me, and although Desire seemed to get into things okay, the camera work rarely seemed to capture it as well as it might. The guys seemed to have problems keeping things going sexually and their acting was just as bad. This scene left me bored and turned off.

Scene 2 - Lain and Scott Lyons; Lain and Rod Fontana

Lain, and okay looking dishwater blonde, starts things out trying to figure her way out around the kitchen when her crackwhore looking “hubby” Scott comes home and starts chewing her out for not being able to cook, makes her get down on her knees, and then pours various items from the refrigerator on her before pulling out his cock and making her suck it. Lain bends over the counter for Scott to play with her pussy before the scene cuts off and goes to Lain and Rod watching the scene as she tries to get a job.

When Rod isn’t interested in Lain’s scene he suggests that she should do an audition instead. She strips down and gives him a little show before letting Rod eat her pussy. She sucks his cock before letting him eat her pussy again, and after a little more pussy munching lets Rod fuck her missionary style. They continue to mix in plenty of throatfucking as Lain rides him in the cowgirls, and he fucks her throat to the point that she throws up on him. They even get in a bit of spooning and doggie before Rod eats Lain’s pussy, fucks it missionary style, and gives her a facial.

This is another scene that just didn’t work for me. Lain is kinda cute and has a great young body, but I think I’ve had craps that were bigger than Scott and which showed more personality. Food play is something that doesn’t do a lot for me, and when it was combined with a degrading start it lost me right away. When the scene switches to Lain with Rod it gets a little better, but it’s such an odd and abrupt switch that it made the first half completely worthless to me. When I got the “pleasure” of seeing Lain throw up after being throat fucked, it was all I could do to keep watching the scene. By the time it got to the point of Rod smearing Lain’s makeup all over, I think I had so much blood flow away from my waist that I’d be able to fit in some of the pants people left behind after a weekend visit at the Neverland Ranch.

Scene 3 - Gen Padova, Burke, and John West

Gen starts things out playing with herself in the near-dark while Burke watches her from the cupboard stroking himself. She talks down to him a bit before she’s joined by John, who lets her admire his cock a little before he pulls Burke out and throws him between Gen’s legs to eat her pussy before going up to let Gen suck his cock. Burke fucks Gen missionary style before letting John have a bit of reverse cowgirl action. They continue to trade back and forth with Burke fucking Gen from behind and in cowgirl as well as John spooning her and fucking her cowgirl and missionary style. Finally, the guys give Gen an okay double facial.

This isn’t too bad of a scene. As usual, Gen turns out what looks to be a naturally energetic and vocal performance, and really looks to be into the guys. I’ll admit to being a little nervous with how the scene started, and more so how the previous scenes went, but this has the potential to be a pretty hot scene. I was able to get into the scene fairly well and I think I would have been into it even more if the movie had started with this scene rather than sandwiching it in the middle. The main things that held this one back was the camera work. The camera work seemed very basic and the lighting was so low that there were times when I wasn’t sure if this was an ethnic scene or not. This is a decent scene that had the potential to be much better, but was still the best scene in the movie.

Scene 4 - Catalina, Valentino, and Rick Masters

After whining about the house renovation work they were hired to do, Catalina shows up and starts chewing them out for not having it done on time. Afterwards she gives them a chance to redeem themselves slightly by giving her a great fuck. She drops down and blows them both before Rick moves behind her to start fucking her. Catalina turns around so Valentino can fuck her missionary style as Rick fucks her face before the guys trade places. She keeps things going with double penetrations in both cowgirl and reverse cowgirl as well as letting the guys fuck her ass from behind. She lets Valentino have another go at her pussy missionary style before having the guys give her a double facial.

Catalina is one of those girls that has a following and who I’ve never really enjoyed. She often looks like she’s high and rarely seems to put out believable enthusiasm. Here she’s better than in many of her other scenes, but she still couldn’t get me into the scene. She struck me as being half fake and half just doing it for the attention, and I can’t say that either works for me. Heck, for much of the scene it doesn’t even look like she could keep the guys hard. This is another below average scene.

Scene 5 - Amanda Starr and Rod Fontana

Amanda, a nice looking brunette with pierced nipples, starts things out splashing around in a hot tub before Rod pulls her out and onto her knees to suck his cock. They move on with a bit of missionary, both cowgirls, and some doggie fucking. Finally, Rod gives Amanda a below average facial.

Although Amanda shows a little potential, this scene didn’t get past the average mark. She looks like she enjoys herself fairly well and thankfully the degradation aspect doesn’t really come out here. The main thing that hurt this scene was that the camera work and editing felt very lackluster and cold. This made the scene seem like it was lasting much longer than it actually did. This is one of the better scenes in the movie, but still nothing I’d want to watch again.

Smudge leaves virtually everything to be desired for me. There’s a little passionate sex (key word being “little”), but it starts off seeming like it’s more concerned with showing degradation than sex. The smeared makeup look that the movie revolves around is also something that doesn’t normally work for me, and there was nothing here to change my mind on that. The girls are all pretty average looking, and to call most of the guys here average looking would be one heck of a compliment. If the degrading feeling of most of the movie isn’t enough, it’s hurt even more by the camera work being competent at best. Almost every scene has a little camera motion, a poor balance of angles, odd angles, and stops just short of making you wonder if Rod hired one of those guys holding the “Will Work For Food” signs to operate the camera. It also seemed to go on forever, and felt like it would have been greatly improved if it would have had at least a half hour cut out of it. Even though it lasted well over two hours, Smudge felt like it was slapped together and couldn’t even give me a hint of wood.

The Extra Stuff

A trailer is included for Pick Up Chix. The photo gallery lasts close to five minutes with roughly five seconds per good looking snapshot or full screen photo. Finally, Inside the Ranch lasts about four minutes and is basically a behind the scenes featurette put to music. It might be a nice idea, but here it combines the shooting of several movies rather than focusing on this one. This makes it a generic featurette that isn’t too impressive the first time and is even less impressive with repeated viewings.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, group, rimming (male > female), food play, oral, anal, and DP

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Beaver Ranch’s DVDs can be found online for between about $16 and $20 with stores pretty much offering them at both ends. I’m sure there’s some people who might get into the sex here, but I couldn’t see paying $5 for this one. The technical aspects are also quite weak and there’s no real effort put into the extras. Pass this one by!

Note to Beaver Ranch: A little work everywhere could go a long way!

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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