Size Matters (Toxxxic / Metro) Review

Reviewed by Saki  on  2/4/2001

Size Matters (1998)
Studio: Metro/Toxxic
Directed by: Greg Alves
Starring: Melaine Stone, Azlea Antistia, Rebecca Wild, Claudia Chase, Rosa, Alexandra Nice, Marilyn Starr, Julian, Jake Steed, Billy Glide, and Dave Hardman.
Running Time: 1:45
Format: Double Sided, Single Layer
DVD Features: Full-motion video chapter selection menu; 30-picture photo gallery; star biographies; 30+ preview trailers

The First Word: A stroke video with a few hot moments but is a letdown, not because of the big dicks, but the low-quality female talent.

Plot Synopsis:  No plot--all sex with a single premise:  huge cocks are better than small ones.  From the packaging to the opening titles to the between-scene titles, they all play up the fact that women like men who are hung well.  But it's not just the funny (and fictitious) quotes about size that matters; this six-scene video brings three truly big (and one marginally big) specimens in action.

The first scene stars Julian with Melanie Stone and Azlea in the strongest scene of the video.  Next, it's a ho-hum one-on-one pairing of gigantic Jake Steed and Rebecca Wild.  The video bounces back with a scene between Billy Glide and Claudia Chase (pre-boob job, I think) that ends in a nice facial.  Then back to the sucky end of the spectrum with a fast-forward happy encounter between Julian and Rosa.  In the only DP scene, Alexandra Nice takes both Jake and Dave Hardman (who doesn't really fit since his dick is pretty average for porn studs) and also takes an okay facial at the end.  The pattern become pretty clear (good/suck/good/suck/good/suck) with the final, forgettable scene between Marilyn Starr and Julian.

What I liked:  The concept:  Let's face it, no one likes to see someone like Randy West (who's a competent stud and charmer of women) over a big-dicked guy like Peter North or Rocco.  So Greg Alves took this common sentiment and decided to give people what they wanted:  huge cocks fucking and getting sucked by a bunch of spinners.  Good in theory (since there's nothing better for a stroke vid than seeing a big dick going in and out--read on...), but in reality, the execution isn't as good as it could have been.

Great penetration shots:  Captured by Quasarman, penetration shots are superb, and up-close-and-personal.   I'm not saying that it's comfortable for either performer, but seeing a tight reverse cowgirl shot with a huge dick slamming in and out of a pussy is a raincoater's dream.  Nothing is left to the imagination, and the photography definitely plays to the "size matters" theme of this video.

Performer identification: Thank you, Toxxic, for identifying the performers in each scene...it makes it so much easier to figure out who's who, instead of trying to match the photos on the box.  It makes it a hell of a lot easier to write a review too, for which I'm immensely grateful.

What I didn't like: Female looks:  With the exceptions of cuties Melaine Stone and Claudia Chase (who seems to be pre- surgery), the rest of the female cast are too anorexic or silicone-stuffed for my taste-- complete and total turn-offs.  Ugh... I can't say any more without getting personal.

Condoms: I don't normally rag on condoms, since I understand why they are used so commonly today.  But they are really noticeable in this video, and it's pretty distracting to see no condom one minute and then an cock covered with an ugly white condom the next.  Studios:  if you're going to use condoms, please either use discreet looking ones or show them being put on (it would add to the realism and heat of the scene I think).

Weak enthusiasm:  While the sex looked good, you could tell in most of the scenes that the performers weren't really into it.  Dead giveaways:  looking up at the director off-camera for directions (the "are we done yet?" look), fake screams and moaning, and over-the-top eagerness (there's something, well, fake, about someone too enthusiastic in a scene).  With some decent chemistry, this video could have been much, much better.  Without it, you're left with one or too good (but not great) scenes and the rest get fast-forwarded through.

DVD Extras: There isn't much here, other than the performer bios and trailer package on side B.  The bios are okay, but where are the bios of the guys?!?!?!  If I'm going to rent or buy a disc where the size of the johnsons are the most important thing, I'd at least like to know something about their owners.  Given the general mediocrity of the girls in Size Matters, I think it was a bad call to include only the girls' bios on the disc.

The trailer package on side B has a lot of previews of other Metro DVD releases, and is done quite well, with a little full motion video window of the trailers, along with the titles of the movie, and information about them.  However, once you've seen one recent Metro disc, you'll have seen the trailer package.  So it's just like the Vivid Wave/Raw "bonuses"--they stop being value added content when the studio uses the same extras on all their releases.

A/V Quality:  Great!  Professional title sequences plus crisp video and audio (as good as you're going to get from a modern all-sex feature) let you know that the studio and the director cared enough to put out a quality product.  If it wasn't for an occasional tracking line from the source tape, it would have gotten a 5 out of 5 in this category.

The Last Word: This is definitely not the right DVD for you if you don't like to see very penis-centric porn or if you require a plot.  It's also one to skip if you're adamantly opposed to condoms, or if you don't like bleached blondes with fake tits.  Above all, if you have a size-complex, it should be abundantly clear that this isn't for you.  But all-in-all, it's an decent stroke video if you want to see well-hung guys.  I don't know if I'd pay normal street price, but if you can get it for under $10 in a store promotion, it would be worth the purchase.

Themes: Big dicks, surgically altered women, condoms, facials, DP, dirty talk, anal